The Improvement Era

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Gain a full summer of study
with all the extra advantages
at Brigham Young University

SPECIAL SUMMER FEATURES
FOR YOU AT BYU

WORKSHOPS AND INTENSIVE
COURSES

Analysis of In-service Programs
Development of Instructional Methods

in Elementary Schools
Curriculum and Methods of Homemaking

Education
General Science Teachers
Geology Summer Field Camp
High School Publications Workshop
High Uinta Adventure
Hill Cumorah Pageant
Homemaking Education Workshop
National Camp School
Organization and Administration

of Public Schools
Seminar in Educational Readings
Special Education of Mentally Retarded
Study Skills

Summer Camp Association
Supervision of Homemaking Education

Student Teaching
Teaching of Bookkeeping and Economics
Teaching of Business Skill Subjects

CLINICS

Advanced Cosmetology Clinic
Arts and Crafts for Children
Children's Dance Classes
Genealogical Clinic
Late Summer Extension Program
Reading Better and Faster
Youth Clinic for Boys

STUDY WITH GREAT
TEACHERS LIKE THESE:

Dr. H. Aldous Dixon, former president, USU

Dr. Use Forest, education. Western Reserve
University

Dr. Jerry Craig Garlock, consultant, Los An-
geles County superintendent of schools

Dr. Ted Edward Gordon, youth services, Los
Angeles

Ruth K. Hammond, remedial reading. Salt Lake
City Schools

Dr. LaVerd John, director pupil personnel and
guidance service, State School Office

Dr. George A. Kelly, psychology, Ohio State
University

Dr. Herbert Tonne, business education, New
York University

Dr. E. Wayne Wright, guidance, Utah State
University

Dr. Alex H. Zimmerman, music education,
San Diego City Schools

And scores of others

Education Week— June 10-14
First Term, June 17-July 19
Second Term, July 22-Aug. 22

Distinguished Faculty— Nationally famous teachers will augment
resident faculty. Visiting artists also conduct classes.

Devotionals and Lectures— Church leaders and experts in many
fields speak in outstanding BYU assembly programs.

Culture— Summer-long series of concerts brings the finest artists
of music, drama and dance to the BYU campus.

Recreation— Full program of outings, dances, athletics, and the
near-by scenic Wasatch Mountains provide recreational outlets.
The Timpanogos Hike in July is the experience of a lifetime.

Leadership— Opportunity for participation in student government
helps develop leadership qualities.

Advancement Opportunities— Many students now finish college in
less than four years by taking advantage of Summer School.
Teachers will find many special helps for certification and out-
standing workshops and clinics for advancement.

Spend a pleasant, enjoyable summer on this scenic, modern cam-
pus with finest facilities, classrooms, laboratories, housing.

CLIP AND MAIL —

TO: Director of Summer School

Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah

Please send me free of charge your Summer School Catalog.

NAME _ „

ADDRESS „ _.

I am especially interested in:

Exploring

the

Universe

By Dr. Franklin S. Harris Jr.

ANCIENT PLUMBING

Flush toilets were used in the
period of 1000 to 1400 BC, since
they have been found at the hill of
Knossos, the huge palace of Minos
in Crete by Sir Arthur Evans, and on
the hill of Epano Englianos near the
westernmost finger of the Pelopon-
neus in Greece recently by Professor
Carl W. Blegen.

COAL BURNING

Of all the metal mined from the
earth, half has been dug up in the
last 30 years. Of all the coal burned
in history, half of it has been burned
in the United States since 1920.

MALARIA FIGHTER

A new drug, a pamoic acid salt
called CI501 holds great promise in
the fight against malaria. Tests so
far have found that a single injec-
tion of the drug has protected pa-
tients for a year, Dr. G. Robert
Coatney of the National Institute of
Health has reported. Actual field
condition tests are still to be made.
Malaria kills about two million peo-
ple each year and afflicts about two
hundred million.

i ■ ti f \ M -**

CRUMBLING CASTLES

Europe in medieval times abounded
in castles. It is estimated that
Germany alone had over 10,000,
most of them now destroyed.

PACKS I
CRISP*

Now, twice as many individually wrapped
packs in every package of Supreme Saltine
Crackers means you open fewer crackers at
a time . . . keep the rest sealed up fresh and
crisp. Get a package next time you shop
. . . enjoy fresher, crisper Supreme Saltine
Crackers often.

Enjoy Supreme cookies, too . . . they're
"Kitchen rich" good . . . baked as you
would!

SUPREME

APRIL 1963

241

The Improvement Era

The Voice of the Church

Official organ of the Priesthood
Quorums, Mutual Improvement
Associations, Ward Teachers, Music
Committee, Department of Education,
and other agencies of The
Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints.

Contents for April 1963

Volume 66, Number 4

Church Features

The Editor's Page: Blueprint for Family Living,

President David O. McKay .-.252

The Eternal Family, President Joseph Fielding Smith ... ...254

The Church Moves On, 250; Melchizedek Priesthood, 308; Presiding Bishopric's Page, 310.

Special Features

Family Togetherness, the Challenge of Our Times ....^.... 243

Creative Families, Richard L. Gunn _ 256

Grandmothers and Grandfathers, Lucile D. Smith .259

Your Values Become You, Virginia F. Cutler _ 260

Marriage, A Growing and Becoming, /. Joel Moss 262

Music for the Home, Ruth Hardy Funk 264

The Family Dollar, Robert H. Daines _ 267

Family Hours, Lucelle and Harvey L. Taylor 268

Let's Improve Our Family Communications, William G. Dyer ...271

Teaching the Gospel in the Home, B. West Belnap and Reed H. Bradford 273

Homes to Live In, Phyllis S. Allen _ 274

Living with Children, Blaine R. Porter ._ _ .....276

Living with Leisure, Israel C. Heaton _ 280

The Family and Lifelong Learning, Harold Glen Clark _ 282

Before You Buy, Investigate, Josie S. Vincent 285

The Spoken Word from Temple Square, Richard L. Evans 286, 287,. 290

Exploring the Universe, Franklin S. Harris, Jr., 241; Letters and Reports, 248; These Times:
The Station Wagon Age and the Nomadic Modern Family, G. Homer Durham, 246.

Today's Family: Florence B. Pinnock, Editor

Food Time, Family Time 313

Give Yourself a Birthday Gift, Eileen M. Hasse 316

THE ERA OF YOUTH 321

The Last Word 336

Stories, Poetry

All the World is a Stage, Frances Yost 278

Poetry 294, 296, 299, 300, 302

The Improvement Era Offices, 135 South State Street, Salt Lake City 11, Utah

David O. McKay and Richard L. Evans, Editors; Doyle L. Green, Managing Editor; Marba C. Josephson, Associate Managing Editor; Albert L. Zobei.l, Jr.,
Research Editor; Carter E. Grant, Judith StePHAn, Heed H. Blake, Arlene I.arsen, Editorial Associates; Florence B. Pinnock, Today's Family Editor; Mar-
ion D. Hanks, The Era of Youth Editor; Elaine Cannon, The Era of Youth Associate Editor; Art Direction: Ralph Reynolds Studio.
G. Homer Durham, Franklin S. Harris, Jr., Hugh Nibley, Sidney B. Sperry. Alma A. Gardiner, Nathan E. Tanner, Contributing Editors.
G. Carlos Smith, Jr., General Manager; Florence S. Jacorsen, Associate General Manager; Verl F. Scott, Business Manager; A. Glen Snarr, Subscription
Director; Thayer Evans, Advertising Director.

Copyright 1963 by Mutual Funds, Inc., and published by tho Mutual Improvement Associations of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, All rights

reserved. Subscription price $3.00 a year, in advance; foreign subscriptions, $3.50 a year, in advance; 35c single copy, except for special issues.

Entered at the Post Office, Salt Lake City, Utah as second-class matter. Acceptance for mailing at special rate of postage provided for in section 1103. Act

of October 1917, authorized July 2, 1918.

The Improvement Era is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts but welcomes contributions. Manuscripts are paid for on acceptance at the rate of 2c

a word and must be accompanied by sufficient postage for delivery and return.

Thirty days' notice is required for change of address. When ordering a change, please include address slip from a recent issue of the magazine. Address

changes cannot be made unless the old address as well as the new one is included.

ART AND PHOTO CREDITS:

Photo— 253— Hays, Monkmeyer
Photo— 255— H. Armstrong Roberts
Photos-256, 262, 280, 281-Wallace M.

Barrus
Photos-264, 265, Shelton, Monkmeyer;

Harold M. Lambert
Photo-276-Eldon Linschoten
Photos-259, 261, 268, 269, 270, 273,
274, 275, 277, 279, 283, 308,
309, 310, 312, 321, 324, 325,
334, 335-Ralph Clark and Wallace
Kasteler.

Art-310 Ted Nagata
Art-316 Phyllis Luch
Art-322-323 Virginia Sargent
Art-326-327 Dale Kilbourn

All other art and photos— Ralph Reynolds
Studio.

THE COVER

Aren't family moments as this simply
priceless? Who can deny that a happy
family circle working, playing, and
praying together is but a glimpse of
heaven on earth? This Camera Clix photo
introduces a special Era— special in
that for this number we have joined
with Brigham Young University to
present "Family Togetherness"— the
theme of the Education Weeks to be
held in thirty-three areas of the Church.
In this issue there are many articles
to make your own family life more
enjoyable, more meaningful. Now, back
to our cover picture— looking at it again
brings to mind a sentence of President
David O. McKay found on page 252
of this issue: "It is possible to make
home a bit of heaven; indeed, I picture
heaven to be a continuation of
the ideal home."

Cover Lithographed in full color
by Deseret News Press.

242

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

o

4^ w

^Sl

w

*

IN THIS ISSUE

Family Togetherness,
the Challenge
of Our Times

"And what does the gospel show
us? It shows us who our Father is; it
shows us our relationship to him, and
to our earthly father; it shows us our
duty towards our children, our duty
towards our wife, and wives their
duty towards their husbands; it
enters into all the ramifications of
human existence." (Journal of Dis-
courses 11:163.)

So spoke President John Taylor,
then a member of the Council of
the Twelve, in an open bowery, at a
general conference of the Church,
October 7, 1865 in pioneer Great
Salt Lake City. His comment is as
fresh and as needed today as it
was then.

What was once "Leadership
Week" on the campus of Brigham
Young University has now, in 1963,
become "Education Week" in the
Church, with courses being given in
more than thirty cities, involving
nearly two hundred stakes and ap-
proximately seventeen hundred sixty
wards. The theme is "Family To-
getherness, the Challenge of Our
Times." At least forty thousand per-
sons will attend the thirty-five
hundred lectures throughout the
summer. The following statement,
emphasizing the Education Week
program, has been issued by the
Board of Trustees with approval of
the First Presidency.

"The Board of Trustees of Brig-
ham Young University has changed
the name of the former Leadership
Weeks to 'BYU Education Weeks.'

"The change was made after long
consideration of a broader scope and
more appropriate name for this pro-
gram. The old name may have
given the impression that the pro-
gram is only for officers and teachers
of our auxiliary organizations and
exists for their religious training. On
the contrary, the BYU Education
Weeks are intended for everyone
who can take advantage of the large
number of academic offerings.

"We are pleased to note that the
BYU Education Weeks will be pre-
sented in 33 areas of high Church
population in the Western United
States and Canada next summer. The
extension of this privilege to a wider
segment of the Church is indeed
gratifying and has the blessing
and encouragement of the Board
of Trustees."

The Improvement Era, with its
family circle of nearly two hundred
thousand subscribers, is pleased to
join BYU in the presentation of this
theme. Many of the articles in this
issue have been written by faculty
members who will be present at the
various Education Weeks in the far-
flung areas of the Church.

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APRIL 1963

243

APRIL CONFERENCE RELEASES

THE
BOOK OF MORMON

in Living Sound

The exciting sound of truth, now in its
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3. Corner on Youth

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Tongue-in-cheek verse to delight
young and old by a popular LDS teen
consultant, Deseret News teen corres-
pondent, Improvement Era Youth
Section associate editor.

$1.50

4. The Art of Counseling

by James Jay Tschudy
A most important phase of Church
leadership is carefully analyzed by an
authority in the field on counseling.
Dr. Tschudy is a thorough Latter-day
Saint and noted educator whose knowl-
edge of the gospel and counseling is a
valuable aid to Church leaders.

$3.50

5. The Jackson's
Hole Story

by Josephine Fabian
A new kind of reading experi-
ence for Latter-day Saints! The
Jackson's Hole Story deals with
virgin Wyoming country during
a time when adventurers, rob-
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1. Biblical Sites in the Holy Land

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A remarkable, new word and picture tour of the
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made following their recent visit to Palestine. Lavishly
illustrated in color!

$3.95

2. Family Leadership —
Inspired Counsel for Parents

by V. Dallas Merrell

A rich, new book studded with quotations from many
of the General Authorities of the Church— both past
and present. The author is chairman of the BYU
"Educational Week" program for 1963. No LDS par-
ent should miss reading this one!

$2.95

S. Castle of Zion — Hawaii

by Castle H. Murphy
A provocative autobiography full of
interesting philosophy and stimulating
missionary experiences. A profound
insight into the gospel's influence in
the life of a most interesting Latter-
day Saint.

$2.00

7. Josse Pearl

by Alma Schulmerich
Friend of Ernie Pyle, Will Rogers,
Mary Pickford, and "Baby Doe,"
Josie Pearl made her way in and out
of mining camps in Colorado and Ne-
vada epitomizing the rough exteriored
but tender-hearted frontier, hard-
rock mining women.

$2.95

8. Four Little Bees

by Genevieve W. Hunt
A refreshing story for young teens
which will elicit a warm response
among young people who are always
interested in nature. Beekeepers and
Beehive girls in the Y WMIA will find
this book a valuable addition to their
library.

tte&wt Book

COM P A N Y

44 EAST SO. TEMPLE AND AT COTTONWOOD MALL

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$1.50

To: Deseret Book Company

44 East South Temple, Salt Lake City, Utah

Please send me the items ringed: The Book of Mormon in Living Sound.

Book(s) number(s) 12 3 4 5 6 7 8

I have an account I enclose a money order/check ...;.

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400 Voice Chorus

of Brigham Young University
Conducted by

Dr. Crawford Gates

SHRINE AUDITORIUM
LOS ANGELES, CALIF.

APRIL 10th

Tickets Available at So. California Music

Co. (637 So. Hill St. LA)

and all Mutual Ticket Agencies.

For the Mutual Agency nearest you
phone MA 7-1248

The Station Wagon Age and
the Nomadic Modern Family

THESE TIMES

By Dr. G. Homer Durham

President, Arizona State University, Tempe

• Away they go— to different ( or the
same) places, but in different auto-
mobiles—the modern family. Can
the basic cultural function of the
family be saved in the station
wagon? It is probably the place
where family gatherings most often
take place in these times— at least
until the teens start driving. Then
family meetings tend to divide
or disappear!

The sociologist, Charles A. Ell-
wood, felt that the family performed
three important functions:

1. It continued the life of the
species, determining the child's
physical destiny.

2. It preserved and conserved so-
cial possessions, transmitting prop-
erty from generation to generation,
as well as the ideals and standards
on which government, law, religion,
morality, and culture depend.

3. "The family," he also said, "is
the chief generator of altruistic
sentiments and ideals in human
society. This primary group fur-
nishes the basis upon which such
primary ideals as fatherhood, broth-
erhood, love, service, and self-
sacrifice have been built up into
moral and social traditions."

Today, one can conclude (so far
as western civilization is concerned)

that function No. 1 continues un-
abated. Whatever the culture,
whether patriarchal, matriarchal, en-
dogamous, exogamous, the family
still has fathers, mothers, and chil-
dren in common— and the population
continues to grow wherever food
supply is found. What of the rest?

Functions 2 and 3 derived funda-
mentally from the religious basis and
nature of the family. But modern
man does not invest much time in
the family. Business, civic, and
(among Latter-day Saints) church
duties occupy the bulk of his time.
Whatever is left has been organized
into extension classes, in-service
training courses, patriotic gatherings,
bowling leagues, or whatnot. Women
are in somewhat better position than
men. They are forced, by nature, to
spend at least a minimum amount of
time with the offspring. But this time
varies from several weeks following
birth to the period when the young
depart for school; for today's mother
is a working mother— outside of
the home.

The home and family are sur-
rounded by new, rapidly growing,
centralized social institutions. The
family continues the life of the
species. But more and more the an-
(Continued on page 304)

246

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

£ >-..-* ': "*

How do we thank

such a man as this?

The railroad hat is deceptive. Bill Schupbach is a
lifetime Standard Oiler, retired. His grandfather,
father and uncle were Standard Oilers before him.

Before retiring, Bill was a refinery foreman. His
company retirement plan gives him security, and
time for model railroading, but his big enthusiasm is
still Standard Oil Company.

Bill keeps close to us, and we to him. He is invited
to our picnics and parties, receives our publications,

and is still one of the "Boys" at the refinery. He
knows that he belongs.

It isn't the spoken thanks that do it; but your
lasting interest in a man, your counting him as a
person and not a statistic, these are the things that
liven his spirit.

We have thousands of such fine men and women on
our retirement payroll. If you know some of them,
you know that they, too, are ardent
Standard Oilers.

Planning ahead to serve you better
STANDARD OIL COMPANY OF CALIFORNIA

APRIL 1963

247

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MANY ANGELS

Who is the "Angel Unaware" [Era cover,
December 1962] on your December cover?
I've heard there is a twin for all of us
in this world. When I got my December
Era I thought the little girl on the cover
looked like my little girl.

Since then four different people have
told me the same thing. My little girl's
name is Del Ann and she is four-years-old.
We would like to know what the little
angel's name is, how old she is, and
where she lives.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Delbert Householder
Thatcher. Arizona
Note: The Era has received several letters
commenting on the similarity between the
writers' children and the "angel" on our
December cover. The "Angel Unaware"
is Jill Hunter, age 3. She is the daughter
of Mr. and Mrs. Paul Hunter, 146 North
1050 West, Cedar City, Utah.

GAINS HONOR

Pictured is Gordon Gillette, Kahala Ward,
Honolulu (Hawaii) Stake, receiving his
Duty to God award from his bishop,
Charles W. Nibley. Gordon is an Eagle
Scout.

Letters

and

Reports

NEW SERVICEMEN'S GROUP

A servicemen's group was organized re-
cently aboard the USS Hancock while the
aircraft carrier was docked at Hong Kong.
Southern Far East Mission President
Robert S. Taylor conducted. Those set
apart were Lt. Raymond Gay Blake, Salt
Lake City, group leader; Lloyd Jack Cox,
Blackfoot, Idaho, first counselor; and
Game Omer Healy, American Fork, Utah,
secretary. There are twenty-three mem-
bers in the new servicemen's group.

OUTSTANDING RECORD

Despite a severe physical handicap, Julie
Davis, American Fork Second Ward, Al-
pine (Utah) Stake, has had nearly 100
percent attendance to all her meetings for
the past seven years and was recently
awarded her Gold Medallion in recognition
of her record.

She has earned the Honor Bee award,
the Mia Joy award (two years), and the
three Laureate awards.

SHOWS GOSPEL FRUITS

The elders of the Baltimore District of the
Eastern Atlantic States Mission want to tell
you of our appreciation for your efforts in
presenting this magazine. It is a great
tool for our investigators in further stimu-
lating their interest and showing them the
life the true Church of Jesus Christ
exemplifies.

The Lord has told us that the truth
should be born out by the fruits. We feel
this magazine does much to show the
fruits of the gospel and its representatives
here on the earth.

Sincerely your brethren,
Elders Haddock, Walker, Lynch,
Searle, Godwin, Brimley, Orton,
Davies, Livingston, Yearsley
Baltimore, Maryland

CUMORAH PAGEANT DATES

America's Witness for Christ, one of the nation's great religioits pageants, will
stage its four performances at Hill Cumorah, Palmyra, New York, on August 7, 8, 9,
and 10, 1963. It will be the twenty-sixth retelling of this Book of Mormon story.

248

the
Panrnv

HANDBOOK FOR
GENEALOGICAL
CORRESPONDENCE

I (ioirieii

! NllOQ*

inMiaiii

family with
good books

whitneyW.

[ewcls

Of

thought t

Here, is an intimate glimpse into the lives of the
Prophet's mother and father, brothers, cousins, and
his wife and children . . . sons and grandsons. With
keen insight and discernment, the author tells, of
Joseph's love for his family and the effect on his
loved ones of his martyrdom. An entire chapter deals
with truth versus tradition. $3.25

2. Handbook for Genealogical Correspondence

By the Cache Genealogical Library
All too often poor genealogical letters defeat their
purpose and actually seal up many record sources to
the correspondents. This handbook gives down-to-
earth help to family genealogists so they can locate
and contact the best record sources. Covers most
problems you will encounter in using letters to com-
plete research work. „ $3.25

3. Golden Nuggets of Thought, Vol. 4

Compiled by Ezra L Marler
Great minds have crystalized their ideas and preserved
them in compact literary gems. This collection is
ideal for leisure moments, classroom discussions, and
for use from the pulpit. Covers a variety of topics,
conveniently indexed for speedy reference. $1.00

4. Cowley & Whitney on Doctrine

Compiled by Forace Green
Now available in one beautiful volume. Mathias F.
Cowley's great teachings, first published in 1902 at
Chattanooga, Tenn., is filled with beautiful truths ex-
pressed in studied brevity. Covers apostacy, restora-
tion, baptism, gathering of Israel, resurrection, mill-
enium, etc.

Orson F. Whitney's "Saturday Night Thoughts" was
first published in 1921. When an influenza epidemic
cancelled General Conference in 1918 Elder Whitney
wrote these editorials for the Deseret News to give
vital messages to the Church members. $4.00

5. Jewels of Thought

by Bryan Gardner
Here is a choice collection of statements, usually
pithy and succinct, conveying moral truths, perceptive
comment, humor, and here and there a certain caustic
wit. Contains well over 300 items. t $1.00

6. Love is Eternal

By Clyde E. Jensen
A dramatic portrayal of life in the hereafter vividly
shocks a young couple into the realization that to
enjoy love eternally they must seal their marriage in
the Temple. Interestingly presented in fiction-form,
this quick-reading story will be enthusiastically read
by teenagers. $.35

Bookcraft 4-63

1186 South Main

Salt Lake City, Utah

Please send the following circled books for which I

enclose check or money order for

12 3 4 5 6

Name

Address

City State

APRIL 1963

249

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make a big net profit of 66%% (40(* on
every box that costs you 60$) and you pay
nothing until after your drive is over.
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mation without obligation, write us or fill
in the coupon below.

I

Mr. GEORGE RATJSCH, Dept. 978
Mason, Box 800, Mineola, N. Y.
Gentlemen: Please send me, without obliga- J
tion, information on your Fund Raising Plan. \

Name

Age

(If under 21 )_

I Organization _
■ Street Address
J City

State.

I How many members Phone-

Mason Candies, Inc., Mineola, L. I., N. Y.

The

Church Moves

On

JANUARY 1963

Sandy East Stake, 365th such unit now functioning in the
Church, was created from parts of Sandy (Salt Lake County)
Stake with Elder Orren J. Greenwood sustained as stake president
with Elders Reid L. Harper and Howard J. Moody as his counselors.
President Marlon S. Bateman was retained as president of Sandy
Stake as were his counselors, Elders J. Ira Hardcastle and Max A.
Mumford. The stake organization was under the direction of
Elder Ezra Taft Benson of the Council of the Twelve and President
S. Dilworth Young of the First Council of the Seventy. Sandy was
begun in 1871 by the railroad which ran a branch line from this
point to service mining operations in Little Cottonwood Canyon.
LDS Church meetings began in Sandy in 1873. The origin of the
name is uncertain, one thought being for the type of soil generally
found there; another for Alexander "Sandy" Kinghorn, the railroad
engineer who ran the first locomotive into the station.

Elder Edwin B. Jones sustained as president of Detroit (Michi-
gan-Ohio-Ontario) Stake succeeding President George W. Romney.
Elders Carl S. Hawkins and Newell K. Richardson sustained as
counselors. Both President Jones and Elder Hawkins served as
counselors to President Romney who moved from the confines
of the stake when he was inaugurated as governor of Michigan.

The First Presidency announced the appointment of Elder
David B. Haight as president of the Scottish Mission, succeed-
ing President Bernard P. Brockbank who was sustained as an
Assistant to the Council of the Twelve last October. President
Haight has served as president of the Palo Alto (California) Stake
since 1951. He also is vice-chairman of the Oakland Temple Dis-
trict and of the San Francisco church welfare region and is active
in civic affairs in California. His wife Mrs. Ruby Olson Haight
will accompany him to the mission field. The couple has three
married children.

The First Presidency announced the appointment of Elder
Nathan Eldon Tanner of the Council of the Twelve as president
of the Genealogical Society of the Church. It is expected that a
new organization will be named soon to assist Elder Tanner who
succeeds President Junius M. Jackson and his counselors, Elder
Lamont B. Gunderson and George H. Fudge who have served for
the past two years and are honorably released.

The First Presidency announced the appointment of Elder
Joel A. Tate to serve as president of the Berlin Mission, succeeding
President Percy K. Fetzer. President Tate has served as president
of Twin Falls (Idaho) Stake since February 1960. He previously
served as a member of two stake (Continued on page 319)

250

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

A gentle reminder: Zee is a very soft (and very economical) toilet tissue.

APRIL 1963

251

Blueprint for

Family

Living

THE EDITOR'S PAGE

BY PRESIDENT DAVID O. McKAY

♦ Many years ago, President Joseph F. Smith then of
the First Presidency, later President of the Church,
said in a commencement address at the old Latter-day
Saints College: "Educate yourself not only for time
but also for eternity. The latter of the two is the more
important. Therefore when we shall have completed
the studies of time, and enter upon the commencement
ceremonies of the great hereafter, we will find our
work is not finished, but just begun."

With all my heart I believe that the best place to
prepare for that kind of eternal life is in the home.
But home life pays earthly dividends as well. I know
of no place other than home where true happiness
can be found in this life. It is possible to make home
a bit of heaven; indeed, I picture heaven to be a
continuation of the ideal home.

Every home has both body and spirit. You may
have a beautiful house with all the decorations that
modern art can give or wealth bestow. You may have
all the outward forms that will please the eye and
yet not have a home. It is not home without love.
It may be a hovel, a log hut, a tent, a wickiup, if you

have the right spirit within, the true love of Christ,
and love for one another— father and mother for the
children, children for parents, husband and wife for
each other— you have the true life of the home that
Latter-day Saints build and which they are striving
to establish.

In such a home God has placed upon parents the
responsibility of instilling eternal principles into the
minds of children. Church schools, Sunday Schools,
Mutual Improvement Associations, Primary, and
priesthood quorums are all helps in government,
established here to assist in the upbuilding and guid-
ance of the youth, but none of these— great and
important factors as they are in the lives of our
youth— can supplant the permanence and the influ-
ence of the parents in the home.

The home is truly the first unit of society, and
parenthood is next to Godhood. The relationship of
the children to the parents should be one which
would enable those children to carry out ideal citizen-
ship as they become related to the state and to the
larger forms of society. The secret of good member-
ship in the Church or good citizenship in the nation
lies in the home. If and when the time ever comes
that parents shift to the state the responsibility of
rearing their children, the stability of the nation will
be undermined, and its impairment and disintegration
will have begun.

The character of the child is formed largely during
the first twelve years of his life. It is estimated that
in that period the child spends sixteen times as many
waking hours in the home as in the school and more
than a hundred times as many hours in the home as in
the church. Each child is, to a great degree, what
he is because of the ever-constant influence of home
environment and the careful or neglectful training
of parents.

A good home requires good health habits through
parents' instruction and example in eating, sleeping,
and proper exercise.

Home is the best place for the child to learn self-
control, to learn that he must submerge himself for
the good of another. Then when he gets out into
society where he meets with his playmates, he will
better realize that he must give them respect and
consideration. The home is the best place in which
to develop obedience which nature and society will
later demand.

Homes are made permanent through love. Oh,
then, let love abound. Though you fall short in some
material matters, study and work and pray to hold
your children's love.

A child has the right to feel that in' his home he
has a place of refuge, a place of protection from the

252

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

dangers and evils of the outside world. Family unity
and integrity are necessary to supply this need.

I wish to emphasize the fact that our homes should
be more attractive and that more of our amusements
should be centered in the home.

Parents must lead in the cultural development and
show a willingness to answer questions. A child that
is asking questions is contributing happiness to your
life. Fortunate the child whose parents can leave
their work occasionally to encourage the child in
constructive play and spend a few hours in
nature study!

Our most precious possession is not our vast acres
of range land, supporting flocks and herds; not pro-
ductive farms; not our forests; not our mines nor oil
wells producing fabulous wealth nor is it our factories.
Our greatest resource is our children, our young men
and women whose characters will largely determine
our nation's future.

Would you have a strong and virile nation?— then
keep your homes pure. Would you reduce delinquency
and crime?— lessen the number of broken homes. It
is time that civilized peoples realize that the home
largely determines whether children shall be of high
or low character. Home-building, therefore, should
be the paramount purpose of parents and of
the nation.

Establish and maintain your family hoyrs always.
Stay close to your children. Pray, play, work, and
worship together. This is the counsel of the Church.
Unhesitatingly, I affirm that my home life from baby-
hood to the present time has been the greatest factor
in giving me moral and spiritual standards and in
shaping the courses of my life. Sincerity, courtesy,
consistency in word and in deed, unselfishness are
dominant virtues exemplified in the lives of my par-
ents and others in the two homes, my father's and
my own, that have proved a safeguard and guidance.

Do you know how I spell Home?

Honor

Obedience

Mutual service

Eternity of the marriage relation
—these spell home, and they comprehend the spirit
in which the principles of life and salvation should
be taught to children.

The dearest possession a man has is his family. In
the divine assurance that family ties transcend the
boundaries of death and continue throughout endless
ages of' eternity, I find inspiration. When the union of
loved ones bears the seal of the Holy Priesthood, it
is as eternal as love, as everlasting as spirit. Such a
union is based on the doctrine of immortality and
eternal progress of man.

APRIL. 1963

The Eternal
Marriage

Covenant

One of the most glorious princi-
ples of the gospel is the eternal
marriage covenant. When the Sad-
ducees came to the Savior and
presented the case of a woman
who had had seven husbands and
asked him which of these husbands
she would have in the next world,
it was presumably for the pur-
pose of trapping him if they could.
The Savior answered them and said:

". . . The children of this world
marry, and are given in marriage:

"But they which shall be ac-
counted worthy to obtain that
world, and the resurrection from
the dead, neither marry, nor are
given in marriage:

"Neither can they die any more:
for they are equal unto the angels;
and are the children of God, being
the children of the resurrection."
(Luke 20:34-36.)

From this answer given to these
Sadducees, the Christian world
reached the conclusion that there.
is no marriage beyond this mortal life. Therefore
marriages, whether performed by ministers of religion
or by officers of the law who are duly authorized, are
performed until death separates the contracting

YOUR
QUES-
TION

ANSWERED BY

JOSEPH
FIELDING

SMITH

PRESIDENT OF
THE COUNCIL
OF THE TWELVE

husband and wife. This form of
marriage, however, was not from
the beginning.

In giving instruction to the
Pharisees, the Savior set forth a
very different doctrine. They came
to him and questioned him on di-
vorce, in the answer which he
gave to them he taught the doctrine
of the eternal marriage covenant.

"And he answered and said unto
them, Have ye not read, that he
which made them in the beginning
made them male and female,

"And said, For this cause shall a
man leave father and mother, and
shall cleave to his wife: and they
twain shall be one flesh?

"Wherefore they are no more
twain, but one flesh. What
therefore God hath joined to-
gether, let no man put asunder."
(Matt. 19:4-6.) Here we have in the
words of Jesus the declaration that
the marriage covenant is intended
lo be eternal.
This doctrine of the eternal nature of the marriage
covenant was revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith.
It is very significant history that has come down to
us in relation to the first marriage on this earth.

254

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Before there was any mortal death, the Lord declared:

". . . It is not good that the man should be alone;
I will make him an help meet for him." (Gen. 2:18.)

Therefore Eve was given to Adam, and it is clear
from this scripture that the intention was that marriage
between the man and his wife was to endure forever,
for death had not at that time come upon the earth.
This thought must have been in the mind of Paul
when he declared to the Corinthian Saints: "Neverthe-
less neither is the man without the woman, neither the
woman without the man, in the Lord." (1 Cor. 11:11.)

Moreover, Paul when writing to the Ephesian
members of the church wrote as follows:

"For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ,

"Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth
is named, . . ." (Eph. 3:14-15.)

There is then a family of God in heaven as well as
on earth, and who will be the rightful heirs in that
family? Naturally it will be composed of those who
were married for time and all eternity in the temple
of the Lord, for the Lord has written:

"Behold, mine house is a house of order, saith the
Lord God, and not a house of confusion.

"Will I accept of an offering, saith the Lord, that is
not made in my name?

"Or will I receive at your hands that which I have
not appointed?

"And will I appoint unto you, saith the Lord, except
it be by law, even as I and my Father ordained unto

you, before the world was?

"I am the Lord thy God; and I give unto you this
commandment— that no man shall come unto the
Father but by me or by my word, which is my law,
saith the Lord.

"And everything that is in the world, whether it be
ordained of men, by thrones, or principalities, or
powers, or things of name, whatsoever they may be,
that are not by me or by my word, saith the Lord,
shall be thrown down, and shall not remain after
men are dead, neither in nor after the resurrection,
saith the Lord your God." (D&C 132:8-13.)

Naturally, if men and women, when they marry
become members of the family of God, and are en-
titled to the blessings of eternal increase after the
resurrection, the ordinance and covenant of marriage
must be by divine authority. The privilege to per-
form such marriages cannot be promiscuously assumed
by any individual or minister. There is but one at a
time who holds these divine keys. He has the author-
ity to delegate authority to others to perform marriages
for time and for all eternity, and unless this authority
is granted, marriages for time and eternity would not
be binding beyond this mortal life. Naturally those
who wish to marry must subscribe to the laws of the
state. No minister or even elder of the Church has
the authority to perform marriages and seal for time
and all eternity except those who have been duly
delegated the authority from the one who holds these
divine keys— the President of the Church.

APRIL 1963

255

Creative Families

BY RICHARD 1_. GUNN chairman, department of art, byu

• One of the greatest minds of our century said that
imagination is more important than knowledge!

Einstein was not suggesting that knowledge was of
small importance, and we know as members of the
Church that "we cannot be saved in ignorance." But
the act of creation is the highest power of man— and
God. The first sentence of the Bible reminds us of
this creative power. The more that modern man
discovers about the heavens and earth that God
created, the more he marvels.

Human creativity is a product of a divine endow-
ment, nurtured in a certain type of atmosphere,
stimulated with specific experiences, and given ex-
pression with an individual emphasis.

The cradle of the creative requirements is the
family.

As parents we hold the creative life of our children
in our hands. How strange it is that so many parents
and teachers go out of their way to turn off the
switches of creativity in our children. In working
with young children, teens, adults, and grandparents,
it is disturbing to see the children's rich, creative
qualities slip away from them. See for yourself. Simply
watch young children at play— a pencil may become a
space ship, a rock may be a kitchen stove. Listen
to the children at play— "Now you be the baby, and
I'll be the mama cooking supper. . . ." Ideas begin
to crowd upon other ideas as their creative imagination
floods their environment.

Young children seldom say, "I can't pretend," "I
can't draw," "I can't create." Then listen to them
when they become adults: "Where can I find a book
of ideas for a party?" "I can't draw a straight line,"
"Let's face it, I'm just not original," "I can't this"
and "I can't that." It becomes quite obvious that
something happens to children as they grow up
which robs them of this precious sense of imagination.
Parents should search out the creative-squeezers, ash-
can them, and then actively build the right kind of
atmosphere. There is a bonus for our children if
we do. Besides the advantages of a creative life
which are self-evident, research is proving that cre-
ative outlooks contribute to a longer life; it's a fact!

The best illustration I know of the early tugs and
pulls of creativity was when our son, Tommy, first
went to kindergarten. He came home with a "pic-
ture" that most of us would call a scribble. I used
one of the most important sentences a parent should
learn in aiding creative growth through art, "Tell me
about your picture." Tommy immediately launched
into an excited discussion of his picture of a turkey.

A second good pointer for the parent is simply
to show a sincere interest in the child's work. Tommy's
scribble of a turkey was very meaningful to him, and

I understood it enough and recognized the growth
he was gaining to enjoy it thoroughly. Tommy
sensed that I genuinely liked it. The turkey picture
was also pinned to the wall in the home. These few
things plus the important fact that he had a teacher
who understood children and their art expression,
stirred Tommy enough that when I came home the
next evening, Tommy met me at the door with a
stack of turkey drawings almost a half inch thick.
We had an enthusiastic creator on our hands.

Then Tommy went to Sunday School. As a reward
for the children's attention to the lesson the teacher
let them draw. She had prepared, some Thanksgiving
turkeys for the children to color-in. When Tommy
came home with another turkey for his collection,
his picture was only partly Tommy's. He had not
created the turkey; he had only mechanically filled
in shapes. We sent Tommy for his crayons and
paper and then urged him to draw a turkey as he
did at school. For five minutes he sat looking at the
crayons without drawing, then I finally said, "What's
the matter, Tommy?"

He replied, "Daddy, turkeys are too hard to draw."
Too hard to draw! Just a few days before he had
been drawing turkeys with a keen sense of enjoy-
ment. Each line of his drawing had meant turkey;
it was no fill-in process. What had happened? In
only half an hour a "coloring book" technique had
shaken his confidence, had promoted a stereotype
expression, had crimped his creative outlook.

"Paint by number" sets, tracing books, etc., may
keep children busy, but they are destroyers of indi-
vidual expression and creativity. Research studies
at Pennsylvania State University give strong evidence
of these negative powers. Many commercial games,
art kits, and toys are marked "educational" with more
interest on the sales dollar than on child growth.
Creative growth cannot be developed in conformity.

Avoid craft kits and drawing outfits that give
uniform results. Seek, rather, such activities as cre-
ative dance classes. In such classes students learn
deep sensitivities, and when they perform there is a
rich individuality. Creative dance is one of the very
best activities for children. There are too many
advantages in modern dance to limit this creative
expression to girls.

When the young child finds difficulty in his draw-
ing, the best approach is to increase the child's
experience. Tommy's turkey tumble was a good place
to bring in the whole family. I remembered seeing a
turkey ranch in a neighboring community, so we all
trooped out to the family car and drove over to see
the turkeys. All of us learned much. I was sur-
prised how sociable the turkeys were as they gathered

APRIL 1963

257

around us. When we would say "hello," they imme-
diately responded with a loud chorus of turkey
sounds. The children were delighted with the
friendly response. Tommy was fascinated with the
"thing by its nose that wiggles when he goes gobble
gobble." When we returned home and suggested that
the children draw what interested them most on the
trip, Tommy was ready to draw again, and his picture
had a bright red wiggly scribble by the beak. No one
needed to tell him how to draw it, he simply inter-
preted his experience.

Creative growth is not a "this-is-how-to-do-it" affair.
The important springboard, again, is a vital experi-
ence. Children do not learn in a vacuum. The family
provides a natural stimulation for meaningful
experiences; caring for baby, arrival of a new puppy,
raking the leaves (as a family project, not just jobs-
something we care for and do together) to Grandma's
on Thanksgiving, a summer picnic or trip. . . .

The school, church, and neighborhood are powerful
shapers of children. Sometimes very capable teachers
have had limited experience in creative activities.
When stereotype work comes home from outside
sources, be concerned but don't grab a ball bat and
head for the teacher. Children need to feel that they
are understood and so do teachers. Sometimes it is
the parents that need to learn; go with an open mind.
If you feel you have a case, perhaps, with tact, you
might suggest that the teacher read chapter IL Lowen-
f eld's, Creative and Mental Growth. ( Macmillan. )

We have tried to show our children that there is
no accomplishment or achievement from a coloring
book; anyone can do that. They have not been for-
bidden to use them, but they quickly learned that
we are enthusiastic about art work or other activities
that are their own creations, when they have met the
"do it your own way" test in a meaningful manner.

Family night is a special opportunity.

Feature games as "I'm going on a trip, and I'm
going to take. . . ." Give new twists to it. How many
things can they take starting with the letter "A," then
move on to higher levels. If you were Robinson
Crusoe on this trip and your island only had bamboo,
how many things could you make out of this material?
Have the children name all the possible uses for some
common items as a toothpick, a window screen, a
paper cup. Our family came up with the following
uses for a toothpick: book mark, cake tester, fingernail
cleaner, designs, toy log cabin or Japanese house,
cleaner for small cracks, fill loose screw holes, hold
marshmallows together for table decorations, swab

stick with cotton, pin two pieces of paper together,
wick for a broken candle, chopsticks for Chinese
dolls, game of pick-up sticks, pick up dead flies and
bugs, eyelashes for lady snow men, pinch tweezers,
logs for doll house fireplace, write on cakes, puzzles,
hold hot finger food, clay tool, punch air holes in
paper cover for bug bottles, sandwich holders, learn
counting of numbers. It is amazing how such a
simple game as this over a period of time can
develop imagination.

If the family enjoys television, perhaps an imagina-
tive twist might be developed. Try turning the set
off ten minutes before the scheduled ending and have
the children discuss how many ways the show might
end. Let the children know the plan in advance
so they will not be absorbed in the loss of their show.
(This technique also may reveal to the children how
mediocre the plots are of many types of programs.)
Perhaps the family might leave the room except for
one child and after the imaginative endings are dis-
cussed by the family, the separated person could
return and tell what did happen for a comparison.

Serious problems may also be tackled. Ideas are
usually best developed in groups. A few general
guides in group idea, searching or problem solving,
are to have everyone throw every possible idea into
the hopper; don't let anyone say anything negative;
don't evaluate at first. One idea will lead to another
as each person throws in his thinking. After all the
ideas are in, then start to think for the first time on
which is most workable.

Our best family experience was a 27,000-mile camp-
ing trip. There were many nights when all eight of
our family squeezed into one car with all our gear for
a night's sleep while the rain poured outside. This
project involved enough problems to stretch all 27,000
miles. We solved them together. Mother's imagina-
tion devised a clothes dryer out of the car's defroster.
Ricky solved the impossibility of how all eight could
sleep inside. Betty Jeanne somehow added a violin
into an overstuffed luggage compartment. The door
handle was her music stand. Dad found Scotch tape
the best flea catcher. Two nails and a ladder made
an easel. Sweat shirts were pajama tops in cold
weather. The problem of hot water was a toughie,
but we found that problems became fun as we tackled
each difficulty as a family. We kept finding reasons
for being grateful, especially for being together. We
saw many wonderful things on the trip, but the learn-
ing to adapt to minimum needs was a most valu-
able experience.

258

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Grandmothers
and

Grandfathers

BY LUCILE D. SMITH

1'962 UTAH MOTHER OF THE YEAR

• When I think of grandmothers, the image of my own
dear grandmother comes to my mind. It was she
who gave me the concepts of gentleness, love, charity,
and service to others. She instilled the deeper mean-
ings of family life, especially that of belonging to a
family, when my own mother was taken while I was
still young.

My grandmother was a part of the Relief Society
presidency for two decades. She let me accompany
her when visiting the sick, the dying, or when she
had a little food or clothing tucked away in a box
or pan for those less fortunate and needy. She in-
structed us in finding and cutting asparagus, and
drove us to the homes of the destitute, that we might
learn the joy of giving and the rewards of their appre-
ciation and thankfulness. It was her home that was
always full of this one or that one needing to go to
school, or desiring shelter, or just a bit of her
seemingly endless supply of good food, comfort,
and encouragement,

My grandmother always let us roam the garden,
the orchard, the barns, and gather the eggs and run
the errands. She sent someone to help us satisfy
our curiosity and desires to explore and to be our

guardian while we hunted the wild flowers on the
steep banks or by the river. She allowed me to play
the piano hour after hour, when the playing was
faltering and imperfect. She never forgot to encour-
age and find the improvements and to find a little
new music from a hiding place for that special
learning interest.

Grandmother seemed to take full responsibility
when there was distress or sickness. She gathered up
the measles, the chickenpox, the sore throats, the
fevers, and energetically administered the plasters,
the purges, the toddies, the poultices, and the appro-
priate heat cures current at the time. Eventually we
were all well again.

My grandmother's home was always clean. She
knew how to use the resources of her seven daughters
and two sons and hired help in keeping the house
and yard in spotless condition. There were no
pickets missing in the fence; the garden was weeded;
the animals were sleek and fat. Her beautiful flowers
and the peacocks were reminders of a home in
verdant England.

Hardship, privation, and sacrifice had made her
kind, forgiving, and (Continued on page 298)

APRIL 1963

2S9

Your Values Become You

BY VIRGINIA F. CUTLER, dean, college of family living, brigham young university.

• You will find greater meaning to your life if you
are pursuing goals that have significant value for you.
The pursuit will make you more vital, more awake,
and there will be a blossoming of inner talents and
abilities that will shine out in your countenance. Yes,
your values become you. Look into the faces of
elderly people, and you will see lifetime values in-
delibly imprinted there. Young faces are beautiful
to look at, but if you want to study character and
become wise in the meaning of lifetime values, get
better acquainted with your elders. It is also worth-
while to study cultural groups different from your
own in order to see contrasting value systems at work
and to observe the results of thinking otherwise.

Margaret Mead made a study during the thirties
of tribes in different areas of New Guinea and found
tremendous contrasts in these populations because of
different value systems. The Arapesh were a peace-
ful, co-operative, kind, social-loving people, because
these values were infused into the life of every child
from the time of its birth. In fact, the feeling of
relatedness and concern for others started long before
birth. A young betrothed girl would go to the home
of her future husband and become part of the family.
The young boy was then responsible to "grow" his
wife. He grew or killed food for her and learned to
guard and protect her. After the marriage the two
of them "grew" the child during the period of preg-
nancy and through the years following birth. What
they did or refrained from doing all went into the
development of their offspring. Their energy, physi-
cal exertion, and skill were so incorporated into
growing their children that the very self of each be-
came part of the others.

In the social scheme, food was grown by one person
and given to another. A farmer would walk miles
with his coconut saplings to plant them on the house
sites of others. He gave his pigs to relatives in distant
villages. He hunted only to give his kill away. The
lowest form of humanity was the man who used the
products of his industry for himself. Thus every
morsel consumed had been the medium of social
participation and contained social value. Any surplus
food was always the occasion for inviting others to a

feast. If a man walked alone through the jungle, he
carried society with him to the extent that what he
saw was not a plant or a piece of wood, but something
for his neighbor's garden and for a relative's house.
The principle of growing a wife and child extended
to the community, inducing an unselfish concern for
all others, the evidence of which was discernible on
the elderly faces and could be observed in the
behavior of all ages in the society.

As contrasted with the gentle, peace-loving, family-
loving Arapesh, the Mundagumors— who lived on an-
other part of the same island— were mainly con-
cerned with acquiring more land and possessions.
They were aggressive and constantly at war with
each other and with neighboring tribes. Their
inheritance system induced a competitive spirit that
engendered family hatred. Most marriages started
with violence; children were conceived in hate;
mothers were angry when pregnant; they rejected
their offspring, particularly if they were girls, and
children learned early to fight for their lives. This
unfriendly, hostile behavior continued into adulthood,
and those who survived to grow old had the imprint
of their way of life on their faces.

Latter-day Saint leaders and early members of the
Church had their roots in New England soil. Values
that had been tested and found good in laying the
foundation for a great country were also values im-
portant for carrying forward the work of a great
Church. The social heritage stemming from the New
England value system facilitated the living of gospel
principles and enriched Mormon family and com-
munity life for more than a century. Pioneer parents
taught their children to do the work of the home and
farm, to care for animals, to grow food, to make
clothing, to preserve food for winter, to keep the
home neat and clean, to make special preparations
for Sunday climaxed by the Saturday-night bath, pop-
corn, stories, and prayers, and all went to church
together on the Sabbath day.

Technological changes of the past fifty years have
caused a "culture quake," and families today are
caught in a dilemma. Year-around roads, two cars in
the garage, a gadget to (Continued on page 286)

260

THE improvement era

■■■■I ■ »:■

APRIL 1963

261

Marriage,

a Growing

and
Becom ing

BY J. JOEL MOSS

PROFESSOR OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT AND
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS, BYU

• "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his
mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they
shall be one flesh." (Gen. 2:24.)

Jesus gave us a model when he prayed that his
disciples would be "one." He did not mean "one
person," but one in thought and purpose and in dedica-
tion to something greater than themselves.

This model calls for marriage to be a commitment—
a dedication of a man and woman to create the
situations which allow the best in each to grow. Thus
each partner develops his potentiality, and a unity,
joy, and "oneness" results which is greater than either
could create alone. Such a partnership is not for
children. It requires persons mature enough honestly
to dedicate themselves.

Marriage partnerships grow in beauty and magni-
tude through creative interaction in which each per-
son invests his personal values freely and without
fear of consequences. Creatively to interact, one must
be willing to be "transformed" or "changed." Surely
one would have to feel a great sense of dedication
to invest himself so completely in such a partnership.

Creative interaction is achieved to the degree that
each partner strives to:

1. Be emotionally honest with himself and partner.

2. Creatively listen and communicate with the
partner.

3. Display the appreciation felt for the partner.

Being Emotionally Honest

What does it mean to be emotionally honest?
Basically, it requires recognition of several facts:

1. Each marriage partnership builds around its own
set of magnetic forces.

2. Each marriage has forces which could push
it apart.

3. Growth in the partnership depends on our
acceptance of the consequences of our choices.

4. The only person I can really change is myself.

5. Every married pair needs help at times.

Not all husbands and wives are held to each other
by the same forces. One wife may feel a magnetic
pull from her husband's courtesy; another may be
held by his spiritual strength; another, by his business
acumen. One husband may find an appeal in his
wife's vitality; another, in her neatness; another, in
her ability to organize. Each marriage has its roots
in the multiple magnets which bind the couple, to-
gether. Recognition of this strength is significant
in making a partnership grow.

Being human, we marry the "humanity" of our
partners as well as their angelic qualities. From our
humanity come drives which make us want to feel

1

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

significant. A man who has very definite ideas strives
to dominate a relationship, but a dominating indi-
vidual sometimes annoys a partner who is trying to
grow in poise and self-confidence. Our humanity
requires that we learn to accept the consequences
of our choices.

The sooner we can recognize the nature of our
marital magnets and the opposing force of our human
characteristics and accept their reality, the quicker
we are willing and prepared to open ourselves for
transformation. The only person I can change is
myself. All I can do for another is lovingly to create
the situations under which he may feel free and safe
and may desire to transform himself.

Perplexing situations arise for all married couples.
It isn't easy to be honest with oneself, let alone with
one's partner; hence, every couple needs help at
times. The first source for such help is God. But
he isn't going to change a partner or the situation.
More likely he will require us to step back and
objectively analyze ourselves to see how we can
better create the situations in which growth may
be achieved. And, while doing so, he will give us
a feeling of being loved and supported even if
we are wrong.

Friends and counselors are a second source of help.
Sometimes we get so mixed up we need help in
getting an honest perspective. Those who tell us
what to do are usually only temporarily helpful. Those
who can give us a supportive feeling while helping
us more clearly see our situation and choose among
our alternatives are genuinely helpful. They help
us to be honest and unleash the potentialities for
development deep within us.

Creative Listening and Communication

What is required in the way of understanding and
communicating with a partner?

1. Recognition that we are frequently biased in
our point of view.

2. Creative listening to catch meaning behind the
words communicated.

3. An atmosphere in which honest feelings can be
more readily shared.

4. More wisdom in our approach to problems.

We tend to see and hear what we want to see and
hear. Thus, our view of a situation is often biased.
To correct this, we must seek to recognize our biases
and listen more intently when a partner tries to com-
municate. No marriage partner is as possessed of a
certain characteristic as a partner believes— no wife
is as beautiful as husband thinks she is; no husband
is as thoughtless as a wife may think he is.

If I see a person as being "bossy," is there some-
thing inside me that makes me want to see that
person as "bossy"? This is why we must creatively
listen to the message behind the words being spoken.
Creative listening implies a desire genuinely to under-
stand the other person's point of view. This could
well be the meaning in Jesus' teaching that if we'll
take the beam out of our own eye, then we can more
clearly see the mote in the eye of another.

For example, a wife went to her lawyer and asked
for a divorce, saying she wanted really to hurt her
husband. "Then," said her lawyer, "I suggest that
you go back home for six months and do everything
you can to please your husband. Feed him his
favorite meals, be attentive, and do all the little
things he asks. In six months you will be in a posi-
tion really to hurt him! Come back then, and we'll
get your divorce!"

A year later the lawyer met the woman on the
street and said, "I thought you were coming back
to get a divorce." The woman replied, "I went home
and did all you said, and I changed my mind. My
husband is a completely different man!"

Communication requires not only creative listening
but also the creation of an atmosphere wherein inner-
most feelings and desires can be freely shared. Too
frequently we approach a partner with "something's
got to be done," "why don't you," or "you're not
being fair" phrases which often put a partner on
the defensive.

A better approach may be to invite the partner to
help you find a solution to "your" problem. If a wife
is disturbed because a husband comes home late to
dinner, this is her problem, not his! (His problem
is her reaction to his lateness and perhaps his lack
of ability to budget his time.) An invitation to join
in a search for solutions asks for appreciative con-
sideration and is more likely to get a favorable
response because two people are looking for answers—
not someone to blame!

At times, we forget to use wisdom in approaching
problems. We try to solve them when we are tired
or when we're all stirred up inside. Discussion under
the heat of anger or the pressure of fatigue or worry
does not produce creative interaction. Instead, it
tends to invite a battle of words— attack and counter-
attack. We would achieve much more if we would
cool off and try to get a better view of the situation
before discussing it.

Expressing Appreciation for a Partner

Life shouldn't be just a matter of solving problems.
If we are to bring out (Continued on page 298)

APRIL 1963

263

• Jennie Jo, our two year old, had been given the
responsibility of "caring for" Grandma while the rest
of the family enjoyed an evening ice skating. When
we returned to Grandmother's home to pick her up,
we could hear the gay, lilting strains of "111 Be Seeing
Nellie Home." Quietly approaching the front door
so as not to disturb, we saw our little girl gayly
whirling and swaying to the energetic and gay har-
monica accompaniment being played by her eighty-
six-year-old grandmother. What a picture! How
wonderfully happy they were as they shared together
the joy and delight of this musical moment.

Reflectively, my husband Mark recalled how well
he had learned to respect his mother's musical
barometer as she whistled about her breakfast chores.
// it were a gay and happy tune, it meant he could
expect an understanding ear and a warm "yes" to
any request or if she were quiet or a sad melody was
heard, it was better that he wait and approach her
another time. He remembered the piano lessons.
They had all been exposed, and his sisters had done
well, both serving in their time as Sunday School
and choir accompanists.

Everything special that happened in Mark's little

Music for the Home

RUTH HARDY FUNK

CHURCH CORRELATION COMMITTEE

264

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

home-town involved music— the band concerts before
the baseball games, the MIA roadshows, school operas,
ward reunions, and the operettas. How they loved
their holidays and celebrations which always ended
in a rousing community sing and the village dance.
Christmas sparkled with a harmonic mixture of
sounds— the ringing of sleighbells as they rode along
in the bobsleigh joyously singing the carols and
finally the annual Christmas cantata when they heard
again the full, rich glory of Sister Eskelson's voice as
it soared right up to heaven. Music had been an im-
portant part of Mark's life— a very good part.

My childhood also had been filled with music.
Father loved to play the piano and sing and was
never fully happy until we were all singing along
with him. Dishwashing wasn't nearly as painful
when we were "hamming up" or improvising on an
operatic aria.

Our lives literally bulged with music— hours of
practice, rehearsals, and accompanying for MIA and
ward performances, recitals, concerts. What a thrill
it was to have a reception at our home, following a
concert of a visiting artist.

Our musical "jam" sessions must have been

"murder" to the ear but great to be a part of as we
came together in our home and made music. One
greatly anticipated family outing was our attendance
each New Year's day at the great Salt Lake Taber-
nacle to hear the Messiah. There is so much to cher-
ish—so much to remember, musically, as a family.

Now that we have our own family, we, as all
parents, want to fill our home with as much beauty
and joy as possible. We want our children to have
vivid and delightful memories of their fun together-
fun with music.

On one occasion we had been traveling and singing
for many hours when our young son said, "I like it
best when we're all together, singing in the car— we're
so close and happy— this is being a real' family."
Family togetherness— singing together, harmonizing,
creating descants and obligatos, composing silly
jingles and lyrics to well-known melodies, improvising
rhythm accompaniments. The height of our "car
concert" comes when Daddy sings, "Little Purple
Pansies" with all the bravado and flourish that might
attend a Melchior performance. As enjoyable diver-
sion from singing is to clap rhythm patterns of well-
known songs for the others to guess.

APRIL 1963

265

Rounds are favorites and nothing tops the challenge
of a "crazy choir" when we divide up and sing two
or three songs at the same time that harmonically
"mesh" such as "Swanee River," "Annie Laurie," and
"Put on Your Old Gray Bonnet." Often we reach
into the glove compartment of the automobile for
our little treasury of fun songs.*

Home nights are generously showered with music.
Each member of the family takes his turn in being
responsible for the music. Our Mia Maid daughter
has taught us the songs she learned at MIA camp
this summer. Under the direction of our Cub Scout
we have made and played on a "bottle band" as-
sembled from bottles of various sizes from the smallest
medicine bottle to a gallon vinegar jug filled with
water in graduated amounts. Our ingenuity was
challenged when each member was asked to make an
instrument from implements or items found in the
house. A saw, washtubs, kettle lids, wooden spoons,
broom handles, straws, elastics, wires, combs, and
tissue paper were all brought into vibration to effect
a most amazing orchestra as we played to the vigorous
strains of "The Anvil Chorus."

An inexpensive musical instrument, such as a har-
monica, jews harp, ukulele, bazooka, and toy ac-
cordion, was found in each of our stockings one
Christmas morning and provided many delightful
hours of future family fun.

We have been the joyous recipient of a choice
family tradition provided by a neighboring family
of twelve who come "a-carolling" every Christmas Eve.

We want our children to know the joy of accom-
plishment, the satisfaction of self-expression, the
excitement of creating something beautiful. Music
offers endless opportunity for such rewards. Plato
said, "Musical training is a more potent instrument
than any other because rhythm and harmony find
their way into the inward places of the soul."

As far as the budget allows, we are offering music
lessons to our children and an opportunity to develop
and use their talents. Although the practical prob-
lems are at times overwhelming, it is well worth
the effort. A cherished dream is being realized with
my daughters as we explore and play the master-
works written for the violin, cello, and piano. There
is a warmth, a unity, and a harmony of both sound
and soul that permeates this togetherness.

Occasionally we invite another family to share our
home evenings. With members of both families con-
tributing to the program, we are realizing choice

experiences and developing sweet associations. Often
these gatherings conclude with the singing of hymns
which provide an inner-glow and a deeper under-
standing of our relationship to our Heavenly Father.

We encourage and support each other as we partici-
pate in school, civic, and church musical events.
Wonderful friendships are made and hours of whole-
some activity are enjoyed through these opportunities,
and we are realizing greater self-assurance, poise, and
self -discipline.

We want to grow as a family toward a greater
appreciation for all that is beautiful and worthwhile.
Much of this enrichment and joy will come through
music. Our children have been aware of their musical
environment since they were a few months old. As
soon as they are able to walk, we have watched their
spontaneous rapture as they responded with their
whole little beings to the rhythmic delight of happy
music such as Herbert's, "March of the Toys." Some
of their most treasured possessions are their own
records which they have learned to care for and play
on an inexpensive record player provided for their
use when they are only a few years old. It is
gratifying to watch their tastes and interests for
different types of music grow and increase. We all
share the excitement of a new record as though it
were a new friend. It is a thrill to have our five
year old say, "Mommy, please play that pretty record

that goes like " (and she hums the opening

strains of Tschaikowsky's "Pathetique Symphony" ) . To
return home and find your fifteen-year-old daughter
listening to a Tabernacle Choir album after several
weeks of unshakable devotion to "twist" tunes is a
heartwarming experience.

The joyful anticipation our children had for the
next Leonard Bernstein program with the New York
Philharmonic was gratifying. Each week we post a
list of choice TV and radio programs that would be
wonderful "family listening." As a family we at-
tended the symphony concert last year that featured
talented young musicians in our city. It was a most
rewarding evening, and for one whole week we didn't
have to remind our children to practise.

It is hoped that through music our lives will become
more meaningful and that through this appreciation
we will gain a deeper awareness of the spiritual values
in life and the reality of the goodness of God who has
given to us this glorious medium of music through
which we might better understand one another, live
harmoniously together, and worship him.

"MIA— Let's Sing available at the MIA General Offices.

266

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

The Family
Dollar

ROBERT H. DAINES

ASSISTANT PROFESSOR OF
BUSINESS MANAGEMENT, BYU

# Money is, perhaps, more difficult to manage than it
is to earn. Good management of finances is a prob-
lem faced by nearly all families, regardless of income
level. The complexity of this problem has caused
more than 300 colleges and universities since 1940
to introduce courses in personal finance.

How can a young family with limited income
possibly afford enough insurance to provide real
protection? In borrowing $50 you can pay as much
as 1,040 percent per annum or as little as 5 percent.
In buying a $15,000 home, one type of mortgage can
cost over $1,500 more than another. Will you know
the difference when you come to buy? The govern-
ment urges you to save by buying United States
savings bonds; mutual funds urge that you place
your savings with them; the New York Stock Exchange
and its member firms urge you to save and invest
regularly in common stocks. What should you do if
you can't do all three? These and other perplexing
financial choices are encountered and dealt with, either
competently or poorly, during our lifetime.

Most important in managing family income, how-
ever, is a deeper understanding of our feelings regard-
ing its value. Once we begin to understand and
manage these feelings, it is much easier to man-
age funds.

People see different (Continued on page 306)

L

°<mm0t^jm<

Family Hours

LUCELLE AND HARVEY I_. TAYLOR, vice-president, byu

• Moments to remember, stories, games, laughter,
songs, show-and-tell, quiet times with sacred books,
favorite snacks, family circle in prayer, warm good
nights, lights out, peace, and untroubled sleep— these
are family hours.

Children need most of all to be loved. Money and
the things money can buy will never take the place
of companionship with parents and brothers and
sisters doing things together, sharing, listening, telling.
These bring families close together in love and under-
standing. The purpose of family life is God-given
and carries a sobering challenge to work together,
play together, and worship together.

Family hours in which every member has some
part, when he or she is made to feel important and
wanted, can become a great spiritual force in the
home, giving children a feeling of security, responsi-
bility, and direction. If the family pattern is strong,
children will be strong; and when faced with the
responsibility of making their own decisions, they
will usually act according to the family pattern.

Family hours need not always be of the formal
type where a time is set and activities carefully
planned. Informal councils such as talking over plans,
experiences, and problems can be "round-table" talks
after dinner. At least one meal a day should be a
special time of enjoyment where all members of the
family sit down at a table together. Relaxing and
spontaneous family talk after a good meal is the
surest and best medicine to cure the all-American
rush and dash problem. Special family councils
should be called to plan for family nights, for family
events, for school, missions, etc. There may be times
when only the family members involved need to be a
part of the council. The most important factor in

any council is to make sure everyone feels free to
express his ideas even though he knows they may
cause some discussion and disagreement. Some of
the happiest family hours are built around snacks
in the kitchen after special events or contests with
darts and a target in the back yard, croquet, and even
beanbags and a hoop. Best of all, perhaps, are the
quick picnics to the desert, lake, or mountains when
Dad surprises us by coming home a little early, and
the lunch is anything that happens to be in the
refrigerator. The beauty of a sunset, willow whistles,
hikes, bonfires, games, stories, and the ride back with
everyone leading out in his favorite song are memories
that are filled with the rich fulness of belonging
to a family.

From the earliest beginning of the Church, our
leaders have encouraged family hours. So that more
emphasis can be placed on family togetherness, stake
and ward meetings are no longer held on most fast
Sunday nights, with instructions that families are to
meet together to participate in activities in harmony
with the spirit of the Sabbath.

"But what can we do?" said John, an active four-
teen-year-old, to his parents. Perhaps these sugges-
tions might help John find something to do that will
be interesting, instructive, and fun. Many members
of the family can participate in the following sug-
gested programs by presenting certain phases of a
topic. These can be made especially inviting to
adolescent boys and girls. They can do the research,
find pictures, make the presentation, and conduct
discussions. This procedure is highly recommended
since it gives adolescents an "I-am-needed" feeling.

A Night with the Presidents of the Church— with
pictures, stories of their early childhood, church serv-

268

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

s

'

1 "l^f

ice, choice statements from speeches, remarks from
funeral services, place buried, etc.

Our Twelve Apostles (a subject for several home
nights)— with pictures of Christ and the first apostles,
followed by pictures ( if available ) of all apostles since
1830— especially those of our present twelve apostles-
including information about when called, years of
service, stories of early life, and choice statements.
Building the Kirtland Temple— a. wonderful story
little known by members of the Church today.

Nauvoo (especially good now that the Church is
planning to restore much of this once beautiful city ) —
with maps showing locations, story of destruction of
the temple, and persecution of the Saints.

Handcarts to Zion— the wonderful story of the hun-
dreds who crossed the plains, walking, pushing,
and pulling.

The Story of Our Hymns— a. wonderful evening can
be built around the story of "Come, Come, Ye Saints,"
"O My Father," "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief,"
"Carry On," and many others.

Temples of the Lord— with pictures of each temple
in order of completion, and stories about each. Dis-
cussion on purposes of temples, temple marriage, and
work for the dead will grow out of this activity.
Other suggestions for Sunday evening family hours:

The Mormon Army (Mormon Battalion)

The Great Immigration

Missions of the World

Mormons as Colonizers

Mormons in Politics

Mormons and the Arts

A Theatre in the Mountains ( Salt Lake Theatre )

Mormon Writers

Mormons Serve Their Country

Outstanding Mormon Women

Mormons and Education

The Primary Story (Children's Hospital)

The Relief Society Story

The Story of the MIA

The Sunday School Story

Early Home Life of Pioneer Families

Latter-day Saint Hospitals

Story of the Welfare Plan

There are many other interesting and thrilling
stories about Mormon life and activities that would
be appropriate. These could well be those not com-
monly known or discussed in regular classes. A
little careful research and preparation could make
any of these programs adaptable to almost any age
or to any mixed group of a variety of ages.

Through careful preparation, family hours need
never be dull. Surely, they merit as careful planning
as regular breadwinning, social, or church activities,
for sometimes even more will be at stake.

For family hours any time, the following are sug-
gested as those programs proven most successful by
many family groups:

Back-Yard Fun

Fireplace Memories

Tell Me a Story

Family Picnics

Into the old Costume Chest

(a dress-up party)

Mother and Dad's Anniversary

Family Birthdays

A Halloween Party

Plant-Something Party

Lincoln's Birthday (Continued on page 290)

APRIL 1963

269

<i

£

7,

v

tA-

Let 5 Improve Our
Family Communications

BY WILLIAM G. DYER, associate professor of sociology, byu.

• Communication is a means to an end— not an end
in itself. We can use communications to hurt, punish,
and offend; or we can use communications to bind
together, increase love, and maximize joy. The great
skill is not to get people to communicate more but
to communicate wisely and effectively. Too many
families already communicate too much of the wrong
things, and to encourage them to communicate more
of the same would compound the disaster.

The purpose of this article is to help families be-
come more unified, closer, and more meaningful, also
to understand and use the vehicle of communication
as a means to achieve this important end.

Unintended Communication

Very simply, communication is the process whereby
one person by the use of symbols (words, actions,
gestures, etc. ) gets others to understand how he thinks
and feels. But sometimes we send out signals, unin-
tentionally, that let people know how we feel when
we might have preferred to keep those feelings hidden.

A problem in most families is that in certain areas
the communication system is too good; that is, more
is communicated than is really intended. We marvel
at the sensitivity of the gleaming fingers of the radio
antenna and their ability to pluck sound waves from
the air. But marvelous, too, is the sensitivity of a
little child whose receptors are able to pick up all
kinds of messages. One study of little babies found
that if a baby was fed orange juice by a nurse who
did not like orange juice, that in a short time the
baby also would not drink orange juice. However, if
the nurse liked orange juice, so did the baby. Some-
how, the nurse was able to communicate to the child
her distaste for orange juice via tenseness, grimacing,

shuddering at the sight of the baby drinking the
"nasty stuff."

If babies are sensitive enough to pick up from the
nurse how she feels about orange juice through her
subtle body actions, what messages do you think
children are receiving from parents in the following
make-believe incidents?

Case 1. Father talking to mother in the car on the
way home from Sacrament meeting: "What a boring
meeting that was. I don't know the last time we had a
really good speaker. I'd have gained more from
staying home and reading a good book."

Father to son, a week later: "What! You don't
want to go to Sacrament meeting? I can't understand
that. You never see me staying home from a Sacra-
ment meeting!"

One might guess that the father, unintentionally,
has really communicated to his children his true feel-
ings about Sacrament meetings; namely, that one
should go to Sacrament meeting out of a sense of
duty, no matter what, but a good Sacrament meeting
( not found very often ) is one where there is a speaker
who is interesting and entertaining (to father).

Another interpretation of the above case may be
that the father may have both positive and negative
feelings about going to Sacrament meeting. He may
have enjoyed the singing, appreciated taking the
Sacrament, but disliked the speaker. However, his
pattern of communication, developed over a long
period of time, is to talk only about the things he
dislikes, thus his children may be unaware of the
other feelings he may have.

This is one illustration of the dilemma of un-
balanced communication— the father has communi-
cated too much about his negative feelings and

APRIL 1963

271

too little about his positive feelings.

Case 2. Father to daughter: "I think you ought
to read more of the church publications. After all,
we spend good money so you can have The Improve-
ment Era."

Father to mother the next day: "Any mail today?
Oh, just The Improvement Era? We haven't had any
important mail for a long time."

Children pick up all of the communicative symbols
the parents give off— not just the words spoken directly
to them. In Case 2, the father's intentions in his
direct communication with his daughter are to en-
courage her to read church literature more, but his
unintended communication tells her that he really
thinks such material is not too important, as compared
with other matters.

Case 3. Son to father: "Dad, will you come and
help me fix my wagon?"

Father: "Just a minute, son, I'm busy right now
reading the evening paper."

Later. Father: "Son, come and eat— it's time
for dinner."

Son: "Just a minute, Dad, I'm fixing my wagon."

Father: "Not in 'just a minute'— when I call you I
want you to come right now."

What is the father unintentionally communicating
to his son? The son perhaps hears that there are
two standards— one for him and another for the father,
or he hears that his father's newspaper is more im-
portant than helping him with his problems. If you
were to ask the father, "What is more important, your
newspaper or your son's problems?" he would un-
doubtedly insist that his son is more important. But
in a number of subtle ways he has communicated to
his son that the newspaper, or the TV program, or
the golf game, etc., really come first in actual practice.

The above cases indicate that unintentionally we
communicate to others our likes, dislikes, preferences,
and disgusts. It would appear that at least one im-
portant basis of "good" communication is not to learn
how to say the words better, but to examine ourselves
and begin to alter those attitudes, feelings, and reac-
tions that we would not like to see fostered in
our children.

Blocked Communications

One of the strange paradoxes of human interactions
is that at the same time people are unintentionally
communicating things about themselves to others,
they are also being very careful to avoid, hide, camou-
flage, or ignore other things about themselves and
others, and in such areas there is little communica-
tion—intentional or unintentional.

Case 4. Marriage counselor: "Mrs. C, what

seems to be the biggest problem you have with
your husband?"

Mrs. G.: "Since we have been married, my husband
is thoughtless and neglectful. He no longer praises
me or tells me he loves me. He forgets birthdays and
anniversaries. He doesn't perform the courtesies and
niceties that I would enjoy so much."

Counselor: "Have you ever told your husband how
you feel?"

Mrs. G.: "I should say not. If he isn't understanding
enough to sense how I feel, I'm certainly not going
to say anything. Besides, if I did, he would just get
angry and tell me off."

This case illustrates one of the great human prob-
lems. In all kinds of situations people have their
feelings hurt by others. They are disappointed, upset,
irritated, but they take great pains to hide these
feelings from those who would benefit from knowing
how they really feel. One would guess that in the
case above, the wife gives off certain signals, inten-
tionally or unintentionally, that let her husband know
that she is upset. It is also quite possible that even
though he knows she is upset, he doesn't know what
he has done to cause this. It is almost impossible for
a person to improve unless he knows what he has
done that is wrong. Unfortunately, most conditions
are like the dilemma of the person with bad breath—
"even your best friend won't tell you."

Why don't people communicate more freely with
each other? Why don't children tell their parents
about the problems they are having? Why doesn't
Mrs. G. tell her husband?

Perhaps as in Case 3, the parents have given off
unintentional signals that make the child feel his
problems are unimportant and will not be listened to.
But more often the imagined consequences of telling
another how we feel are too terrifying, and silence
seems to be the safer course.

Case 5. Father to daughter: "No, you cannot take
the car to pick up your girl friends and go to your
MIA class party. You are still too young to drive at
night. You can either walk or 111 drive you over,
and if your teacher can't bring you home, you call
and I'll come and get you. Also, since it's a school
night, be sure to be home by 10:30."

Mary: "Oh, all right, Father." (To herself: Why is
he so unreasonable? Here I am almost 17, and I'm
the only one of our crowd who can't take the car
at night. And it's embarrassing to have to leave the
party— the earliest of anyone. He treats me like
a baby.)

The outsider looking at this situation might say
that both the father and the daughter have some legiti-
mate points in their (Continued on page 292)

272

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Teaching the
Gospel in the Home

BY B. WEST BELNAP

PROFESSOR OF RELIGIOUS EDUCATION, BYU

AND REED H. BRADFORD

PROFESSOR OF SOCIOLOGY, BYU

• Teaching . . . Gospel . . . Home. Are there any
other three words which have greater meaning for
the individual than these? According to the Savior,
obtaining eternal joy, salvation, and exaltation in the
celestial kingdom is the basic objective of an indi-
vidual's life. A person must understand the unity
and love found in the gospel if he will partake of all
the Lord would bestow upon him. The Savior said,
"These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy
might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."
(John 15:11.) The gospel, the home, and teaching
provide each individual with a means whereby these
objectives can be obtained.

The Lord has placed an important responsibility
upon all parents. "And again, inasmuch as parents
have children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which
are organized, that teach them not to understand the
doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the
living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy
Ghost by the laying on of hands, when eight years
old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents."
(D&C 68:25.) How does one best fulfil this respon-
sibility and opportunity? The following are some
guideposts that might be helpful.

Partners. It is important for every parent to remem-
ber that he is a partner with his Heavenly Father in
rearing his children. All men and women on this
earth are children of our Father in heaven. He is
vitally interested in certain objectives for his children.
An earthly parent should have some of the same
objectives toward these children. For the earthly
parent this means that he would try to make the
gospel part of the lives of his children so that they
might achieve eternal joy, salvation, and exaltation
in the celestial kingdom.

Whom Can I Teach but My Friends? The relation-
ship one has with another person has a great bearing
on his capacity to affect his behavior in the ways
desired by the Lord. Plato said, "Whom can I teach
but my friends?" When one has a friendly or loving
relationship with another individual, that individual
is much more likely to accept suggestions than if
he defines the relationship with indifference or hos-
tility. The Savior said, "This is my commandment,
That ye love one another, as I have loved you."
(John 15:12.)

Understanding. The parent seeks to understand
his children. What is the level of their intelligence?
At any given time, how much knowledge do they
possess? Do they have personality problems that
prevent them from learning efficiently? Only by
knowing such things can a parent be effective in his
teachings. It is always useful for him to try to put
himself in his child's (Continued on page 294)

273

# Never has there been a time when there was so
much interest in home decorating as at present, and
never before has there been such an abundance of
everything for the homemaker to choose from— regard-
less of price.

It doesn't matter whether you are building a home,
remodeling, redecorating or simply doing a little
"face-lifting," the old caution that delicate-looking
materials are impractical is eliminated. Colors can
be pale and delicate yet be eminently practical.
Fabrics can "look" like satin or taffeta yet wear like
iron. Wall coverings can look elegant and yet be
not only washable but scrubbable. The new vinyls
for floors, walls, and furniture have revolutionized
decorating, especially for growing families. Emphasis
is on easy maintenance without regard to style or
period. What a boon for the woman who craves
beautiful things around her and has a half dozen
rollicking youngsters.

We hear and read much these days about "the
return to elegance." What is true elegance? Is it
something reserved for the wealthy? One person
expressed it this way, "Elegance is good sense ex-
pressed beautifully." To many people, luxury and
elegance are synonymous. This is not necessarily so.
True elegance is not a superficial thing. It must stem
from your personality and genuinely express you.

Learn to be discriminating in creating beauty around
you. Beauty is essentially a personal affair. There
are no rights or wrongs and remember that beauty
and charm have no price tag. Beauty needn't wait
to be afforded; it is everywhere if we but train our-
selves to be aware. The less you have to spend the
more it pays to be aware. Seeing beauty means
being alert to color and form. It means developing
a sense of composition, a feeling of how objects look
when they are brought together, and what one color
does for another. Creating beauty with simple every-
day objects can be fun and challenging.

Everyone must have a place to live. The environ-
ment which you create for yourself and your family
is of utmost importance. As each individual is differ-
ent and each family is different so the environment
of each home should be different. Houses should be
designed and furnished for particular people to live
in; people ought not to be forced to adjust their lives
to houses which do not fit their needs.

Where do you begin, to acquire a home? Take a
careful look at yourself and at the members of your
family and ask a number of important questions. How
do you live? Are you gregarious, fun-loving, informal
people who enjoy having friends drop in at any time?
If you are, then you should choose a location that is
convenient for people, not an isolated spot in the

Homes to
Live in

BY PHYLLIS S. ALLEN

SPECIAL INSTRUCTOR, INTERIOR DECORATING, BYU

I

country. What about work and school? Does it
irritate you to have to run a private bus service for
the members of your family and their friends? If it
does you should find a location near work and school.
These are only two of a long list of questions you
should ask yourselves before deciding where to live.
When you have made this difficult decision, you are
well on your way to having a home suitable for you.

Now what kind of house will you choose? If you
are not familiar with the various styles, make a care-
ful study in books, magazines, and your community
to decide which type of house best suits your
family's needs.

Study many floor plans. Before you decide on
one, make a check list of some basic requirements. Is
the plan functional? Does it rnee£ the needs of the
individual members of the family? If the man of the
house needs privacy for professional study is there
adequate space for it? Is there a place for special
hobby activities? Are working areas conveniently
planned and located? Is there private space for
family eating? Are living areas adequate for all
members to enjoy together?

What about traffic lanes? Can the kitchen be
reached from the front door and the back door without
going through any rooms? Are hallways adequate
and economical? Well-planned hallways are a wise

investment of space. A front entrance which allows
for privacy of the living areas of a house contributes
much to pleasant and tranquil living.

Is your plan economical— not only as to the initial
cost but on a long range basis in terms of mainte-
nance? Short-sighted economy can be very costly.
For example, the best heating plant you can afford
will be the most economical in the long run. Consult
your builder about how to save money by using
stock mill items.

Have you sacrificed space for frills? Space, well
planned, is the most important element in maintaining
a calm and peaceful atmosphere in the home. Too
often so much money is spent on an ornate exterior
and on costly interior details that space is sacrificed.
Get as much space as you can afford; frills may be
added later. You may even find that you have a
better designed house for having had to cut down.

Is the house designed so that it can grow and
change as the needs of the family change? If it is
designed to meet both immediate needs and future
probabilities it will likely be a successful undertaking.

Now with the location, style of house, and a live-
able floor plan how do you proceed? Always keeping
foremost in mind the needs, likes, and dislikes of the
members of the family who will occupy the house,
add the necessary (Continued on page 303)

^fv Living with

Children

BY BLAINE M. PORTER

CHAIRMAN, DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT
AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS, BYU

• For each of us, the experience of living with chil-
dren becomes a separate and unique kind of venture.
Each takes the ups and downs of family living in the
nature of his own stride. In anticipation, many of us
believe that living with children and assuming the
responsibility of guiding and rearing them will be an
easy, simple thing. In actuality, it is not. If we are
serious and thoughtful about the tasks and challenges
which confront us, we view parenthood as a complex
adventure. As parents, we cannot escape moments
of uncertainty and concern, moments of anxiousness
and worry, moments of disappointment. These are
a part of the picture as well as moments of eagerness
and joy and fulfilment.

It is a privilege to live with children. From a
Latter-day Saint point of view, our children are also
God's children who are lent to us for a little while,
during which time we have the pleasure of their com-
pany and responsibility of guiding and training them
properly. Stop and think of the confidence and trust
which God must have in us to allow us the privilege
of being responsible for his children. How many of
us would be willing to give our children for twenty
years to someone else to guide and rear and influence,
to determine their values, their ways of behaving,
their way of life? We would want to establish some
very rigid standards for parents-to-be. How many
of us could pass the test of our own standards?

Having children come into our homes, into our
lives, is not only a privilege but also a great responsi-
bility. We must be concerned about their well-being
physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially, spirit-
ually. It is a great challenge to be asked to meet
the many needs of the growing individual, for human
beings are complex and unique. With all the advance-
ments of science we have not approached anything
as complicated, as wonderful as the human being. If
our children are to grow and develop into mature,
well-adjusted, healthy adults, they must be cared for,
nurtured, guided, and trained carefully. If they are
to be found worthy to return to the presence of their
Father in heaven, they must be led and directed so
that they will follow the paths that will help them
reach that destination. "But I have commanded you
to bring up your children in light and truth." (D&C
93:40.) Such objectives will not be achieved auto-
matically or easily. They will come about as a result
of serious preparation on the part of parents and by
thoughtful, prayerful effort, consistently made and
based on sound judgment and correct principles skil-
fully applied. What can we do to fulfil our obligation
more skilfully and to maximize the joy and satisfaction
which can be associated with it?

Understanding Ourselves and Our Feeling about
Children. The most important single factor which
determines the domestic atmosphere that we offer our
children is simply a desire to have them. It is easy to
appreciate children when they are cute and lovable
and good, but it is quite another thing to extend this
appreciation even to those times when they are annoy-
ingly underfoot and unreasonable. The best environ-
ment that we can give our children during the early
years of their lives consists of little more than this
honest daily willingness to share their lives.

As parents we represent the world to our children.
We cannot expect them to accept the rest of the
population if we fail to give them any reason first
of all to accept us. We almost have to devote the
first few years of our children's lives to the task of
inviting them into the world and encouraging their
acceptance of it. Punishing them for their ignorance
and clumsiness certainly cannot be expected to accom-
plish this. Efforts must be made to explain their
behavior as well as our own to them. Questions our
children ask, however tedious and apparently silly,
must be answered with honesty and interest. Their
values as represented by the importance they may
attach to some toy or activity must be respected with
the same sincerity we expect of them. Moreover, we
must encourage their self-expression and friendships
up to the limits of our ability. Only then do we pre-
pare our children properly for an emotionally
satisfying life.

Understanding Children, In addition to under-
standing ourselves, we cannot expect to become good
parents without a workable set of principles con-
cerning requirements of child guidance. We must
understand our children in relation to their age: We
must know the tempestuous two-year-old, the sweet
and confiding four-year-old, the eight-year-old so de-
voted to his gang, the moody and turbulent adolescent.

Finally, we must know each child as himself— a
unique individual, sensitive and easily discouraged
or tough-skinned and confident, retiring or aggressive,
dreamy or practical, quick or slow. We must
also be aware of the changes, the progress, and
the back-sliding.

There are no rules governing all relationships with
all children. There are only broad, basic principles
which we interpret in terms of each child as an
individual. If through information and knowledge
we are able to gain greater understanding and deeper
insight into ourselves and into our children, we will
see our task of parenthood in a positive perspective.
We will feel less need to condemn ourselves because
of problems; and when (Continued on page 300)

APRIL 1963

277

A 11 the World
Is a Stage

BY FRANCES YOST

• "Here's an item of interest." Mike Thompson handed
the evening paper to his wife Karma and pointed to
an article on the stage and screen page.

Karma laid down the little stocking she was darning
for Donny and read the headlines aloud. "Miss
Rashell Ramone, popular actress of stage and screen
will appear in person at the Reo Theatre for one
matinee performance only."

There was more to the article, but Karma read the
details silently. She dared not trust her voice/ for
Mike was watching her, studying her face. If her
voice should crack, or her eyes water, Mike would
think she was sorry she had married him and given
up her stage career. She had never exactly regretted
her marriage to Mike, not really. It was just that she
had planned a career like her friend Rashell and
had fallen short. She wished she were successful
and important. If she had only continued as Rashell
Ramone had done!

Karma remembered the old days, when she and
Rashell had been girlhood friends. Karma had
planned to drop her simple Smith surname and be
known as Karma Cornell. Rashell Jones had coined
the name Rashell Ramone for herself. The girls had
dreamed their dreams early in life. Both would be
great performers on stage and screen, and their names
would be in bright lights. Rashell had made those
dreams come true, but Karma had dropped by the
wayside and was now darning socks in front of a
fireplace for a family of small children.

"Since your friend will be here for one matinee
performance only, I think you two should get together
for a good talk fest. You could invite her to the house
and cook one of your perfect dinners," Mike suggested.

"Oh, Mike, you're sweet, but this house. . . ."
Karma made a gesturing sweep of disapproval.

"Then get a sitter for the afternoon and take your
friend to dinner downtown."

"Mike, if it were as simple as that. . . ." Karma
groaned softly.

"If you're worrying about picking up the check,
I have a crisp five spot right here." Mike withdrew
a bill from his pocket.

"But Mike, even if this would cover the lunch,

which it no doubt won't, why there are other
items. . . ."

"Stop off and buy yourself a new dress. You
deserve a new one anyway."

"I'd need to have more than a dress, and I'd have
to have my hair done, and . . ." Karma glanced at
her broken fingernails, but didn't mention the needed
manicure. She would do something about that herself.

"You've been saving for something, Karma, how
about using some of your lay away?"

"I've been saving to buy you a new suit. You
haven't had one since we. . . ."

"This is more important, Karma. You get what you
need; my suit's good for a lot of Sundays yet."

"Oh, Mike, you're wonderful, and thoughtful, and
I really shouldn't indulge, but I . . . I . . . just have to
see Rashell, for old times' sake."

Karma shopped in several stores and at length
decided on a two piece beige suit. The suit of
course, begged for brown heels and purse and gloves,
and a perky little hat, and a fresh white blouse.
Karma felt guilty about buying so much for herself
when they needed the money so badly for so many
things. Why, she thought, I've spent on myself alone,
almost enough to make a payment on our home,
when I include the hair styling and the accessories.
But every item is important, a must. Without these
things I could never make myself look good enough
to gather courage to even try to get in to see Rashell.

And now, here she was knocking at the door of a
famous star's dressing room. Karma felt her
heart trembling.

"Who is it?"

Yes, Karma recognized the voice. It had been a
long time, and this voice had acquired a sophistication,
but it was Rashell's voice which she heard through
the closed door. Karma would have recognized that
voice anywhere. Why she had helped her to develop
the lovely tone quality when they had practised in the
old summer stock barn theater years ago.

"Rashell . . . Miss Ramone. This is an old friend."

"I know no one. ... I am very busy."

"Rashell, it's Karma, Karma Smith," she said gayly.
"You remember, (Continued on page 296)

278

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

\

.. ,

Living with Leisure

ISRAEL C. HEATON

CHAIRMAN, DEPARTMENT OF RECREATION, BYU

«*

• Dr. A. Whitney Griswald, president of Yale Univer-
sity, pointed to one of America's greatest challenges
when he said: "A New Colossus has been formed by
the millions of leisure hours developed out of the 40-
hour work week. This Colossus has more leisure at his
disposal than all the aristocracies of history. What
will he do with it? Will he make of himself a full or
exact man or will he be content to be merely a
ready man— a measure of muscle and a shout from
the mob? The choice lies before him. Who will help
him make it?"

Robert M. Hutchins of the Ford Foundation and
former president of the University of Chicago clearly
described the concern we must have for leisure
when he said: "If we survive, the leisure which the
atomic age will bring may make peace more horrible
than war. We face the dreadful prospect of hour
after hour, even day after day with nothing to do." Be-
cause of his concern for the way many Americans
use their leisure, he goes on to say: "After we have
read all the comic books, traveled all the miles, seen
all the movies, and drunk all the liquor we can stand,
what shall we do then?"

The late Harlow Shapely, famed astronomer, was
greatly concerned with the problem of leisure when
he listed boredom along with a pandemic plague,
world warfare with super-weapons, sexually debilitat-
ing dope, and the genius maniac as the five great
threats to mankind.

Yes, we have leisure, and we're going to have even
more of it. Leisure in and of itself is neither good
nor bad. Its value lies in what each individual
chooses to do with it. Leisure provides the only
opportunity many persons will have to reap the
satisfactions they seek in life. For the majority of

our population, assembly-line type work does not
provide the satisfactions man desires. Leisure, rather
than work, is becoming the factor which integrates
the life of the average person.

America could be on the brink of a cultural revolu-
tion. With leisure broadly distributed to all, it is
interesting to think of what this could mean to those
who would become artists, musicians, philosophers,
poets, sculptors— creators in any one of scores of
cultural pursuits. Just think of what it could mean
in opportunity for service to our fellow men and to
God's work! It also holds the key to our physical
and mental fitness.

Leisure is the golden opportunity for strengthening
family ties. With leisure broadly distributed in large,
conveniently grouped hours, days, weeks, and even
years (for our 16,000,000 persons now in retirement),
what will it mean to America and to you? The an-
swer lies with the home to a greater extent than
with any other agency in our society.

If the researchers are right when they say that 70
percent of all hobbies are taught in the home by the
parents and that 95 percent of all hobbies are begun
before a person leaves high school, the responsibility
of the family unit in teaching for living with leisure
is obvious. On the other hand, we know what hap-
pens when the family does not accept this responsi-
bility. The Gluecks are able to predict with 95
percent accuracy, by determining family cohesiveness,
whether or not children will ever face a juvenile court.

Is yours one of the families where family fun comes
just by accident? Surely family activities can be
planned better than that.

Where are you when you have the "time of your
life"? Do you usually have more fun at home or away

Z80

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

from home? Does your family have its best time as
a group or as individuals away from home with
the crowd?

Startling answers were obtained not long ago from
a poll taken among two thousand young people in
one of our midwestern states. Eighty-six percent of
the boys and 83 percent of the girls said they had
more fun away from home. Most of them added they
wished more fun were provided at home.

In today's changing times, the home is increas-
ingly neglected because so many activities which
were at one time confined to the home have become
broader in scope. Perhaps it is not desirable or
possible to return to the home all of the activities
which were formerly there. However, as members
of any religious group which is interested in the
welfare of others, we believe that factors which
influence the development of character and the form-
ing of moral and social standards ought to be found
in the home. Recreation is one of these factors.

Recreation always has been significant in the lives
of healthy human beings. The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints has emphasized and en-
couraged recreation more probably than any other
organization. In the early days of its organization
wholesome fun was sponsored by the Church. Brig-
ham Young saw great value in recreation and
counseled the Saints that if they could not find time
for recreational pursuits, they should make the time.

The atmosphere of enjoying life in all its parts
begins in the home. Home should always be the
center, the motivation of the complete life. Children
sent into the home are precious gifts from God, but
they are also a responsibility for which parents are
held accountable by civil law and, to an even greater

degree, by our Father in heaven. Most parents
express a willingness to do all that ought to be done
for their children, yet there are many failures. If
problems were merely personal or private, they would
be serious enough, but failure in the home becomes
failure in the neighborhood, in the nation, and in
the world.

Family ties must be strengthened if individuals and
society are to enjoy the blessings of peaceful and
abundant life. Family recreation in the home will
strengthen these ties. To neglect the fellowship and
play needs of the family is to neglect a vital part of
living. It has been shown repeatedly that maladjust-
ment in children and in many parents, too, decreases
as family fun and fellowship increase.

Yet, many parents feel that good parents are those
who provide "good things" for their children— books,
bikes, piano lessons, clothes, television, sports equip-
ment, and cars. Sometimes they forget, in their
concern for tangible "things," that fun times and
happy experiences are the childhood memories most
likely to influence and remain with their children.

You don't inherit a child's love; you earn it. You
earn it by giving unselfishly of yourself. Blood kin-
ship alone will not hold people together, as shown
by the countless lonely parents who have grown old
giving "things" to their children only to find that
their children have grown away from them. Families
who enjoy reunions in later years are those who
planted the seed of family unity in childhood, who
worked, worshiped, and played together.

Family recreation like Christian living should not
be confined to one day a week only. Although it is
true that one day each week, special above the other
days, should be set (Continued on page 305)

APRIL 1963

281

The Family and
Lifelong Learning

BY HAROLD GLEN CLARK

DEAN, ADULT EDUCATION AND EXTENSION SERVICES, BYU

• Lucky is the boy or girl born into a home where
self-directed learning is encouraged early and is
exemplified by mother, father, brothers, and sisters.

The real test of education is whether members of
the family have taken the initiative in changing their
behavior for good.

We learn something only to the degree that we
live it. Some of the most significant learning takes
place out of school and at all stages of our life. Self-
education, where the learner plays an active role,
should begin in the home. Qnce established, it is the
most significant type of education when contrasted
with the relatively passive role of attending a class
for credit or following assignments imposed by others.

When a girl or boy is encouraged to take the initia-
tive for learning, when a parent sets the example in
clarity of thought, when every family member has a
curious mind about God and his wonderful world,
then the family has its feet firmly upon the pathway
of lifelong learning.

On the Union Station in Washington, D.C., is this
inscription: "He who would bring back the wealth
of the Indies must carry the wealth of the Indies with
him. So it is in traveling, if a man would bring back
knowledge, he must carry knowledge with him."

The knowledge which will set a child or an adult
in the way where he will find rich meaning in all he
sees and hears is the knowledge that God our Father
made the world and all that is in it. This knowledge
will help create a burning desire to learn more of
him and his world. If we have acquired faith and
know how to think in early youth, we will learn more
as we travel through each day.

Education is often interpreted by the family as
so many courses taken in school. The person with
credits or a degree is more educated than the person
without such. What is your belief about the sig-
nificance of learning which may take place in the
home, in travel, and on the job, and at all ages of
the life of man?

Your answer to this and the following questions
may help you assess your belief in lifelong learning:

1. Does your family believe that if we teach one
another "words of wisdom" out of the best books

that the grace of God will attend us? Do you have a
library suited to all ages that is used constantly in
your home?

2. Do you believe that the true end of all education
is using your education in service to God and
fellow men?

3. Do you take pride in thinking through a prob-
lem? Do you believe in independence of mind and
action, the dignity of personality, and responsible
free agency for every member of the family?

4. When the members have free time, do they use
it as an opportunity for creative tasks? Is time on
your hands a burden or an opportunity to make new
friends, gain new interests, and invent and build?

5. Do you believe in a balance of mind, spirit, and
body? Do you enjoy the fine arts, stirring poetry,
museums, drama, music, and fields other than your
daily work?

6. Do you believe that alertness and an inquiring,
believing mind may be acquired at an early age and
retained and added to throughout life?

7. Do you believe that the mind and spirit need
exercise and that reading, travel, stimulating conver-
sation, letter writing, memorizing poems and scrip-
tures, and doing genealogical research promote
intelligent growth all through life?

The family that encourages creative learning and
the joy of discovery and invention will build a family
togetherness not found in homes where passive learn-
ing takes precedence over self-directed learning.

Max Lerner said: "At the risk of shocking some
people, I would like to say that a home without books
and ideas can be almost as bad for a child as a broken
home, an alcoholic home, or a criminal home, because
it leaves a vacuum into which rush corrupting values."

Lucky indeed is the home where children are
surrounded with an environment which helps them
choose what and how to think. These children will
like their home and always bless it because it blessed
them and filled the vacuum with wholesome values.
What is true of the children is true of Dad and Mom
in their fifties, sixties, and seventies. If either does
not have an inquiring, eager mind by the time he is
fifty, the rocking chair blues will catch up with him.

282

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

He will live in the past, and finally corrupting inter-
pretations will make him old.

Few of us will die in the kind of world into which
we were born. This is because knowledge is being
poured out upon this generation as the water covers
the mighty deep. Tremendous improvements in com-
munication and transportation, the rise of automation,
and the new chemistry, for example, make the old
landmarks fall. It is easy to be left behind lonely
and frustrated as the sum total of our knowledge in so
many fields doubles each decade. The family that
"keeps up," holding onto the eternal knowledge which
does not change, but adapting and applying this
knowledge to a changing world, is a happy family.
They are in charge of their personalities. They are
not tossed to and fro by the kind of knowledge which
may be partially or completely obsolete in ten years.

Yet they know the new theories. Having sought first
the kingdom of heaven, many things are added
unto them.

The Lord after telling his people in this generation
to "teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom,"
goes on to point out other things which are expedient
for us to understand. He refers to them as "things
both in heaven . . . and under the earth . . . the wars
and perplexities of the nations ... a knowledge also
of countries and of kingdoms." (D&C 88:79.) We
would do well as a family to obtain this broad under-
standing. Who knows what new discoveries may
make our vocation obsolete in a few short years?
Wide interests bring ready adaptation to change. We
do not concentrate all of our attention on one sub-
ject area alone.

President Brigham Young warned us about this in

APRIL 1963

283

his characteristic forthrightness in the Journal of
Discourses (2:93-94), "Shall I sit down and read
the Bible and the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine
and Covenants all the time?' says one. Yes, if you
please, and when you have done, you may be nothing
but a sectarian, after all. It is your duty to know
everything upon the face of the earth in addition to
reading those books."

This plea for a wholeness of truth pervaded the
heart and mind of the Prophet Joseph Smith at the
beginning of this dispensation when he hired Pro-
fessor Sexias for $300 to teach the Hebrew language
in the Prophet's home and in the Kirtland Temple.
This God-given spirit of wanting to know comes into
the heart of every true Latter-day Saint. In addition
to the informal learning opportunities offered by the
home, the Primary, classes in priesthood, Sunday
School, MIA, and Relief Society, the adults go to
classes taught by schools of higher learning. For
example, in 1962, 65,000 adult Latter-day Saints took
some kind of credit or sequence of courses or lectures
from Brigham Young University. While this is a good
comparative record, it is small when compared to
what can and will be when the half-million adults of
the Church take advantage of the great adventures in
learning which await them. In 1961 fifty million
adults in the United States took adult education
courses, according to the office of education. This is
a marked increase over the previous decade, and it
shows a growing interest in continuing education, but
this is only a beginning of what it should and will be
when we are fully awake to the opportunities before us.

Last year five hundred Latter-day Saints went to
Europe or on an around-the-world BYU Travel Study
program. They saw peoples and cultures and came
home with new appreciations. Now they read of
"the perplexities of nations" with intimacy and new
insights. Four thousand engaged in personalized study
through correspondence study. Two thousand found
self-improvement and/or advancement on the job,
through evening schools. Ten thousand attended
short courses and discussion groups for special rea-
sons in specialized subject areas.

One of the most thrilling and ever-expanding adven-
tures in learning has been the BYU Education Week,
formerly called Leadership Week. In 1962 in large
and small towns in western America, breadwinners-
mothers, fathers, businessmen, farmers, and workers
from many fields, numbering more than 26,000— sat
at the feet of great teachers learning secular and

spiritual truths.

One mother when asked, "What did you learn from
those BYU teachers that helps you?" replied, "I learned
that there are ten other constructive things I can do be-
sides getting angry at my teenager." Resourceful peo-
ple are hopeful people. They are needed everywhere.

We are moving into a world of ever-increasing
specialization. We cannot live without the specialists
and their contributions to family life. But fragmenta-
tion of knowledge brings great dangers to balanced
wholesome living. The family needs the mountaintop
view where they can see the whole man in a whole-
ness of truth. The family which does not achieve
balance cannot understand its problems. The family
which cannot appreciate the wisdom and insights of
the ages as expressed in the great works of literature,
the arts and science, is a family in trouble. The
narrowness of specialization is a good reason for
continuous learning.

The great dream of democracy is a government
which will provide an environment where the family
will not only be free but build a society which is as
great as they have power to make it. The same is true
of the kingdom of God which is a patriarchal or
family government. We must lift each other and
move together. Sensitivity to our responsibility to
participate in state and church government requires
intelligent voters who choose and support wise
leaders. Only an informed family is worthy of good
government; only faithful, intelligent citizens are
worthy of freedom.

One final reason why the family should be the
seedbed of lifelong learning is that the climax of
family living, the golden years of life, should be filled
with grandpas and grandmas who are useful and who
feel wanted because they are prepared for these
"best years of life." Too often these years turn out to
be anti-climactical.

Great leaders in the Church and in the nation-
many in their seventies and eighties— bear witness to
the importance of their dynamic attitude toward
lifelong learning. For these men and women there are
not enough hours in the day or strength in their bodies
to keep pace with their young minds and spirits.
There is much unfinished business— many unfulfilled
dreams— ever widening interests which must be
taken up on the morrow. For these men and women
the older years are the climax for which all previous
well-lived years have prepared them. This is lifelong
learning and family living at its best.

284

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Before you

buy . . . investigate

BY JOSIE S. VINCENT

INSTRUCTOR, DEPT. OF HOUSING AND HOME MANAGEMENT, BYU

# "Modern equipment, designed to take the drudgery
out of homemaking, has revolutionized household
tasks— this is a push-button world where the equip-
ment does the work."1 The rapid technological ad-
vances of recent years have produced an overwhelming
array of household appliances and even more revolu-
tionary changes can be expected in the future. "Since
each major appliance represents a sizable investment,
its purchase should be considered both separately and
as it relates to equipment you may now own or
plan to buy."2

Since few families need or can afford to buy every
new piece of equipment that comes on the market,
everyone in the family should share in deciding what
to buy. This calls for thoughtful planning and study
by the family before the purchase is made. Here
are ten steps for wise buying:

1. Weigh and evaluate your needs and wants in
terms of your family's present and future values and
goals. The young family will need to buy basic
equipment first such as a range, refrigerator, washing
machine, or vacuum cleaner. A family with small
children may find a washing machine a real necessity.
For some families, a freezer may be a valuable piece
of equipment. It should save money if a great deal
of home-grown and home-baked food is frozen or if
the family buys food for future use when the
price is low.

2. Develop your own buying guide. Find out the
desirable features to look for in the piece of equip-
ment you plan to buy. You can get this information
from a variety of sources: articles in newspapers and
magazines, advertisements, consumer service booklets,
business-sponsored publications, government bulletins,
and books and pamphlets written by authorities in the
field of household equipment. Your appliance manu-
facturer, dealer, and serviceman, home economists of
utility companies, and other homemakers who have
used the appliance will be able to supply you with
valuable information. Summarize the information
that you have gathered by making a check list of the
important buying points you will want to look for

^Household Finance Corporation, "Money Management, Your Equip-
ment Dollar," 1953 Edition.
Hhid., 1963 Edition.

when you go shopping. It is a good idea to keep an
equipment reference file on buymanship information.

3. Make a comparison of several brands so that you
are aware of the features available on the market.
Don't buy the first one you see. All equipment must
meet a definite standard for basic construction, but
you should note the various materials, the workman-
ship, size and shape of the appliance. You will find
that each brand has a number of models, but gener-
ally, the basic construction of all models is the same.
The difference among models will consist mainly of
size and special features. Some special features are
valuable servants; others are mainly gadgets that are
put on for show. Evaluate special features in terms
of needs, added cost, and the time and energy they
will save.

4. Select the right dealer. He should be well-
established in the community and have a reputation
for standing behind his merchandise. It is important
that he understands the construction, installation,
operation, and care of the appliances he sells. He
should have a good service department that gives
prompt and dependable service. As equipment be-
comes more automatic the service department becomes
more important. Remember this! The right dealer
to buy from is the one who earnestly tries to serve
you best, who shows by the words and actions of
his sales people that he wants you to be a customer
of his store, rather than just to quickly sell you his
equipment and then forget you.

5. Choose a reliable manufacturer who will stand
behind your dealer if an appliance should fail to
perform satisfactorily. Pick a manufacturer who over
a period of years has earned the reputation of pro-
ducing quality merchandise and has carried out the
terms of his guarantees.

6. Select your appliance for safety. As you shop
look for the following seals of approval: UL seal on
electrical equipment and the AGA or blue star seal
on gas equipment. In the United States the Under-
writer's Laboratory, Inc., seal means that the equip-
ment was tested when it was developed, and it is
checked periodically by the factory for fire, casualty,
and electrical safety. (Continued on page 292)

APRIL 1963

285

Your Values Become You

(Continued from page 260)

do everything except bathe the
baby, no animals to feed, no chores
to do, convenience foods to heat and
eat, and every member of the family
going in a different direction from
the others, have brought blessings
and calamities to modern family liv-
ing. Long-tested home values that

held community sanction for three
centuries suddenly seem evanescent,
and other concepts of equal worth in
building character have not taken
hold. This interregnum between
the secure, comfortable system of
the past and what is to evolve in the
future is a period of instability.

Your values become you. When
and how does this happen? Does
one wait until children are old
enough to investigate for themselves
to teach them about the meaning of
eternal life and the significance of

TO BEGIN

AND GET GOING

RICHARD L. EVANS

Last week we spoke of the restlessness with routine; with the daily round
of things that must be done of which our lives are mostly made; and of the
patience required for preparation— in short, of being faithful in a few things
before being trusted with many more. Few people in a long or a short
lifetime start and go in a predetermined direction without any detour or
delay. But sometimes young people become discouraged because of the
difficulties of making decisions, the difficulties of knowing what they want
to be, what they want to do, and because of interruptions and uncertainties,
and fear of failure. But it shouldn't be so. On this subject we would
quote some understanding sentences written more than threescore years
since, just in case the present generation would feel that such problems
were peculiar to our particular time: "Few begin with anything like a
clear view of what they want to do," said this source, "and the fortune
they seek may come in a very different form from that which they have
kept in view. . . . [Those who are sincerely successful] are those who are
not paralyzed by failures. . . . While those who put all at risk on one
venture, and, losing, weakly surrender, never accomplish anything worth
living for. Failures, [problems, interruptions] enter into the natural
expectation of everybody. . . . Everything depends on how we take our
[disappointments and delays]. . . f'1 We ought always to be earnestly
"engaged in a good cause,"2 to have a good purpose and pursue it. "Nothing
is more unworthy of a wise man," said Plato, "or ought to trouble him
more, than to have allowed more time for trifling, and useless things,
than they deserved."3 The plain fact is, restated for all of us, and espe-
cially for those younger in years: It is not given to any of us to see the
end from the beginning, but we have to begin, we have to decide, we
have to choose a good goal, and we have to get going. We have to accept
the unavoidable interruptions, the detours, the delays; to be prayerful in
decision, patient, persistent, persevering in preparation. "Few begin with
anything like a clear view of what they want to do,"1 but we have to choose
a good objective, and have the faith to prepare, to follow through— to be
faithful in the small things, of which the larger ones are mostly made.

^Editorial, The Independent, August 1898.

2D&C 58:27.

3Plato.

"The Spoken Word," from Temple Square presented over KSL and the Columbia
Broadcasting System, January 13, 1963. Copyright 1963.

their earthly experience? When a
teenage daughter reports that she
must get married is that the time
to teach standards of morality?
When a son has been caught in
petty thievery is that the time to
teach him how to earn and use his
own money and pay his way? When
does one get ready for a mission
call? For his life's work? For mar-
riage? For old age? Overwhelm-
ing evidence points to infancy as the
time when the training should begin.

Great teachers such as Buddha,
Confucius, Plato, Socrates, and
scores of others have taught this
truism. Ancient Hebrew prophets
taught it, and one gave explicit di-
rections about the process. Here
are his words:

"And thou shalt love the Lord thy
God with all thine heart, and with
all thy soul, and with all thy might.

"And these words, which I com-
manded thee this day, shall be in
thine heart:

"And thou shalt teach them dili-
gently unto thy children, and shalt
talk of them when thou sittest in
thine house, and when thou walkest
by the way, and when thou liest
down and when thou risest up.

"And thou shalt bind them for a
sign upon thine hand, and they shall
be as frontlets between thine eyes.

"And thou shalt write them upon
the posts of thine house and on thy
gates." (Deuteronomy 6:5-9.)

This scriptural advice suggests the
use of four languages:

The language of the feelings

The language of words

The language of example

The language of reminders
"These words shall be in thine
heart"— the language of the heart is
the language of the feelings. One
cannot teach anything that is not in
the heart. One must believe in an
idea or principle or value so im-
plicitly that it is part of him before
he can teach it to others. It is im-
possible to fool a child by using
words that tell a different story from
that which is in one's heart; from the
moment of birth, children are sensi-
tive to the language of the feelings—
the most potent of all languages.

The language of words reinforces
the first language and must be used
frequently and in various types of
situations in order to teach values
that will have lifelong significance.
The prophet said, "Thou shalt teach

286

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

these words diligently unto thy chil-
dren when thou sittest in thine
house . . . and when thou liest down
and when thou risest up;" and we
could add, "And when preparing a
meal, when washing the walls,
when painting the house, when
cleaning the yard, when raking the
leaves, when freezing ice cream, and
when doing a thousand other home
tasks." If you believe that time for
training in the understanding of
values is vital, "work projects can be-
come very meaningful and have pur-
pose beyond just getting a job done.
This doesn't mean that there are not
times when it is wise to have store
biscuits; the point is that the home is
the finest laboratory in the world for
teaching eternal values, and they
are caught more than taught. The
numerous situations that the home
provides are means through which
indirect and subtle instruction about
family values can be given. In bread-
making, for example, one sees the
process from beginning to end and
catches a thrill of accomplishment
and satisfaction impossible to re-
ceive from store biscuits. While mak-
ing the bread, values important to
the Mormon way of life are learned.

The language of example comes
"as thou walkest by the way." Elders
teach children by demonstrating,
guiding, directing, and setting the
pattern for making decisions about
day-to-day issues. In very deed,
what they do speaks louder than
what they say.

The language of reminders: "Thou
shalt bind these words for a sign
upon thine hand, and they shall be
as frontlets between thine eyes."
Phylacteries were reminders for the
ancient Hebrews; these small leather
cases protected inscriptions denoting
laws to be obeyed, and they were
worn about the head or on the wrist,
and sometimes around the neck.
"Thou shalt write these words upon
the posts of thine house and on thy
gates." Thus the home was also a
reminder. Our values today are
indicated by the clothes we wear,
the food we eat, and by the place
we call home. These reminders of
the LDS way of life are rooted
deeply if seeds are planted early
and nurtured through the growing-
up years.

When there is an earthquake, vic-
tims take a serious look at what
happened, pick up the pieces, and

go on from there; a "culture quake"
such as we are now experiencing
calls for similar treatment. The
great prophet Isaiah faced such a
problem at the beginning of King
Uzziah's reign in 740 BC. The peo-
ple of Judah were shaken loose from
their accustomed ways of thinking
and their values were woefully
mixed up. The prophet was com-
missioned to go out and warn the
people and find the remnant to carry
on the Hebrew value system of the
past. The masses did not listen,

but the remnant heard his words
and took their job seriously, putting
into practice the values of eternal
life and teaching them diligently
unto their children. That remnant
has continued to this day.

Your values become you. What
do you want your life to be ten
years or fifty years from now? What
eternal effect do you want your life
to have on the generations to come?
Your answers will indicate whether
you are of the remnant or of
the masses.

I THE
SPOKEN
WORD i

MISTAKES
LEARNED

AND LESSONS

RICHARD L. EVANS

It would surely seem to be an understatement to say that all of us make
mistakes— mistakes sometimes followed by real regrets— regrets for things
we wish we had said or done or wish we hadn't said or done. And since
we make mistakes, we may find ourselves carrying on a conversation with
our conscience, sometimes justifying, sometimes rationalizing, sometimes
trying to talk down the uneasy inner accusations, or sometimes going to
the other unfortunate extreme of assuming that there is nothing we can
do about what we have done or have failed to do, and resigning our-
selves to the mistakes we may have made. But neither self-justification
nor resigned hopelessness is wholesome. The only acceptable way lies
between these two: facing up to the facts and doing something about
them; improving, repenting. It seems a significant thing that the Lord
God gave us the principle of repentance. He surely must have known
that we would need it. And he surely wouldn't have given us the principle
if he hadn't been willing to accept our sincere repentance. This, in itself,
seems hopefully significant. Within the limits of this imperfect life, there
will likely always be some regrets. And no matter what decisions we
make or fail to make we often wonder what would have happened if we
had done differently. But we can't go back. And it is worse than wasteful
to waste life away on vain regrets, idle regrets, regrets from which we do
not learn, regrets that do nothing for us for the future. From any mistake
we should learn a lesson. If not, there is no peace, no progress. "Let not
sleep fall upon thy eyes," said Pythagoras, "till thou hast thrice reviewed
the transactions of the past day. Where have I turned aside from rectitude?
What have I been doing? What have I left undone, which I ought to
have done?"1 "Inspect the neighborhood of thy life," said Jean Paul
Richter, "every shelf, every nook of thine abode."2 "There is no greater
delight," said Mencius, "than to be conscious of sincerity of self-examina-
tion."3 All of us would well do such sincere self -searching, and from any
mistakes, see that there is a lesson learned, so that regrets may not be
hopeless, useless; so that there may be peace, repentance, and progress
for the future.

Pythagoras (582-500 BC), Greek philosopher.
2Jean Prul Richter (1763-1826), German writer.
3Mencius, (385-289 BC), Works, Chinese sage.

"The Spoken Word," from Temple Square presented over KSL and the Columbia
Broadcasting System, January 20, 1963. Copyright 1963.

APRIL 1963

287

NEW AMERICAN
PAYS $100 WEEKLY. . .

TO YOU THOUSANDS OF READERS

WHO KNOW THAT DRINKING
AND SMOKING ARE HARMFUL!

You do not drink or smoke... so why pay premiums for those who do?

Why pay the penalty for those
who drink or smoke?

Every day you pick up the paper you
read more evidence that drinking and
smoking can shorten life. Because they
are among America's leading health prob-
lems— leading to cancer, heart trouble,
sinus trouble, liver trouble and many
other diseases — they're a prime cause of
the high premium rates most hospitaliza-
tion plans charge. But why should you pay
the price for those who drink or smoke?
You no longer have to! Here's why.

Our rates are based
on your superior health

The new American Temperance Hospi-
talization Plan is not offered to drinkers
and smokers, because of the high rates
they cause. We can bring you a whole
new set of rates that are unbelievably
low because they're based on your good
health as a non-drinker and non-smoker.
Also, your American Temperance premi-
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older or have too many claims. Only a
general rate adjustment up or down could
affect your low rates! And only you can
cancel your policy. We cannot.

HERE ARE YOUR AMERICAN
TEMPERANCE PLAN BENEFITS

1) You receive $100 weekly —
even for life

The very day you enter a hospital you
begin to get $100 a week cash... as
long as you are hospitalized, even for
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fast. And there is no limit on the num-
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3) Other benefits for loss within

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We pay $2,000 cash for accidental
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We invite close comparison
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There really is no other plan like ours.
But compare our rates with others for
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no limit on how long you stay in the hos-
pital, no limit on age, no limit on the num-
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Here's all you do.

Fill out the application at the right.
Notice the amazingly low rates! Enclose
it in an envelope and mail to American
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your policy promptly by mail, and cover-
age begins at noon on the effective date
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Don't delay! Every day almost 50,000
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MONEY-BACK
GUARANTEE

Read over your policy carefully.
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does. Then, if for any reason at
all you are not 100% satisfied,
just mail your policy back to us
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mium. No questions asked. You
can gain thousands of dollars . . .
you risk nothing.

^mmmmf^rWrmrWrWrWr^rWr^iirWmi

zee

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

TEMPERANCE PUN
EVEN FOR LIFE!

Here at last is a new kind of hospitalization plan for non-drinkers
and non-smokers only! The rates are fantastically low because
"poor risk" drinkers and smokers are excluded. And because your
health is superior... there is absolutely no age limit, no physical
examination, no waiting period. Only you can cancel your policy. . .
and no salesman will ever call! Starting from the very first
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SEND FOR YOUR POLICY NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

121 APPLICATION TO

PIONEER LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY, ROCKFORD, ILLINOIS

FOR AT-300

AMERICAN TEMPERANCE HOSPITALIZATION POLICY

Name (PLEASE PRINT)

Street or RD #

City

Age Date of Birth,

.Zone.

.County.

.State-

Month

Occupation.
Beneficiary.

.Height.

Relationship.

Day Yaar

.Weight

I also apply for coverage for the members of my family listed below:

NAME

AGE HEIGHT WEIGHT BENEFICIARY

1.

To the best of your knowledge and belief, are you and all members listed above in good health
and free from any physical impairment, or disease? Yes Q No □
To the best of your knowledge, have you or any member above listed had medical advice or
treatment, or have you or they been advised to have a surgical operation in the last five years?
Yes D No D If so, please give details stating person affected, cause, date, name and
address of attending physician, and whether fully recovered.

Neither I nor any person listed above uses tobacco or alcoholic beverages, and I hereby apply
for a policy based on the understanding that the policy does not cover conditions originating
prior to its effective date, and that the policy is issued solely and entirely in reliance upon the
written answers to the above questions.

■ Date:

• at- I AT

Signed: X-

IMPORTANT-

CHECK THIE BELOW MID INCLUDE TOUR i
FIRST PREMIUM WITH APPLICATION !

LOOK AT THESE
AMERICAN TEMPERANCE LOW RATES

Pay Monthly Pay Yearly

Each child 18
and under pays

Each adult
19-64 pays

Each adult
65-100 pays

$080

2

$Q80

3

$C90

5

28

$38

$59

SAVE TWO MONTHS PREMIUM BY PAYIN6 YEARLY!

Mail this application with your first premium to

AMERICAN
TEMPERANCE ASSOCIATES

Box 131. Libertyville, Illinois

APRIL 1963

289

Family Hours

( Continued from page 269 )

Mother's Day

Father's Day

A Night with Dickens (other

authors )
Bible Night
A Freeze-It Party
Grandparents' Night
Make-Something Party

Balls (with

Stunt Night
A Family Sing
A Candy Pull
Making Pop Corn

prizes in each)
Hobby Night
A Circus Party
Cut-Out Fun
Visit the Shut-In
Heritage Night

Add to this list your favorite
things to do during the family hour.

(Note: Detailed descriptions on

CHOOSING ALONG THE WHOLE
LENGTH OF LIFE

RICHARD I_. EVANS

Last week we talked of mistakes, of regrets, and concluded that from
any error there should be, must be, a lesson learned, otherwise regrets
will be fruitless, will fail to improve the future. Often there comes the
question as to why we make mistakes. We are not here referring to the
inadvertent errors or to the constructive kind of trial and error which is
often so essential a part of the learning process, but rather to what might
be called character mistakes— mistakes of principle, mistakes of appetite,
of offenses against others and against ourselves; the doing of what we know
better than doing; choosing to do what we know we shouldn't do— in effect,
the more deliberate, knowing kind of failure. The question is too big, too
complex here and now to analyze or answer, except to say that there is
always an "opposition in all things," and a choice in all things, between
right and wrong, truth and error, between self-control and indulgence.
Evil is always active. Temptation is always present. And we are always
faced with choosing along the whole length of life, and are never safe in
relaxing our alert, for there are always opposing forces pulling in different
directions. And the way we go somewhat suggests the quality of char-
acter, our sense of values, our self-control, our intelligence, our sincere
intent. Sometimes when people make such mistakes they offer the explana-
tion that they thought they should sample the unsavory side, so that they
would know about such things for themselves. But this is manifestly un-
sound, because a priceless part of our heritage is to benefit by the mistakes
that other men have made, by the principles that have already been proved.
And we are not wise in repeating the mistakes that other men have made.
Whatever the answers, whatever other elements there are, this fact seems
sure: that we are all, in a measure, responsible for our acts and utterances,
and that learning, improving, repenting, changing habits, conquering appe-
tites, overcoming evil, conquering error, come only with a sincere desire to
do so, only with a willingness, only with wanting to. "Over the times thou
hast no power. . . ." said Carlyle. "Solely over one man . . . thou has quite
absolute . . . power.— Him redeem and make honest."1

irrhomas Carlyle.

"The Spoken Word," from Temple Square presented over KSL and the Columbia
Broadcasting System, January 27, 1963. Copyright 1963.

how to conduct these activities and
other helpful material for family
hours will be found in Family To-
getherness—Suggestions for Home
Nights, available at Department of
Extension Services, BYU.)

Many pleasant family experiences
can grow out of spontaneous activity.
The following is a list of standard
play equipment and materials every
family should have. Amount and
kind vary with the age of individ-
uals. Many family hours can be built
around these activities:

Dart board

Beanbag board

Sand pile

A swing (rope or old tree)

Chinning bar

Basketball hoop

Out-of-doors fireplace or fire ring

Croquet set

Table tennis (Pingpong)

A pup tent for out-of-doors sleep-
ing

A set of basic tools (jig saw) —
variety of building materials

Several sets of building blocks
(have made)

One or more pets that require
daily attention

An ice-cream freezer

Half-dozen good commercial
games, including some puzzles

A blackboard

A tackboard

A flannelboard

An easel

Colored crayons

A camera, movie or still; also, a
projector

One or more musical instruments

Books— to include a good set of
Bible stories with colored pic-
tures, an LDS hymnbook, a
community-type songbook, a va-
riety of books on many sub-
jects—some for all ages

An old costume chest

Play pots and pans for "mixing
and cooking"

Each family will know of other items
which may well be basic to a particu-
lar family. Add these to this list.
Family unity, like everything that
is to last throughout all time and
eternity, must be worked at con-
stantly. It is not acquired on any
one day or at any set time but is
woven into the lives of its members
all through the years without their
knowing just when or how.

290

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

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APRIL 1963

291

Let's Improve Our Family
Communications

( Continued from page 272 )

argument— why don't they talk it
over and work out a mutually agree-
able solution? Why doesn't Mary
tell her father how she feels?
Experience may have taught her
that her father will not consider
her point of view, or that if she
speaks up her father gets angry for
being "impertinent." She may be
afraid that she might cry or get too
upset, or it could be she has never
talked over important things with
her father and just doesn't know
how. Perhaps she thinks her father
will punish her by taking away all
of her car privileges— or even worse,
give her the "cold, silent treatment"
accompanied with that hurt "how-
could -you -do- this-to-me" look.

And the father— why doesn't he
talk this all over with his daughter
instead of just telling her? Surely
he can see (from the silent signals)
that she is upset. It could be that
he thinks that children should obey
parents— not talk back. After all,
that's how he was raised by his
father. Or perhaps he fears a tear-
ful scene and to give the order and
retreat behind the newspaper is just
easier, and less time consuming.

So the father and daughter do not
talk because each has roadblocks

in the path of open communication.
How can they get rid of these
blocks— presuming that they really
want to? People and situations are
complex and different, and there are
no simple answers, but there are
some guideposts from which we
might build a strategy to help meet
the situation:

Guidepost 1. Re-examine your as-
sumptions. We all assume things
about others that may not be true-
but we behave as though they were
true. How tragic if the assumptions
we hold and think are true, are
really false. Mrs. G. assumes that
if she tells her husband how she
feels he will "get angry and tell her
off." He may have done that once
five years ago, and she assumes he
is still like that. Mary assumes that
if she tries to talk to her father he
will get angry and punish her, but
maybe he won't. Wouldn't both
Mrs. G. and Mary do better to as-
sume that the husband or father
loves them, wants to have a good
relationship, and if approached in
love and kindness will respond with
love and understanding?

Guidepost 2. Take a risk. In a
sense this is the old adage, "Nothing
ventured, nothing gained." When we
open the communication channels,
we sometimes risk the possibility
that the other person may get upset,
angry, and may feel hurt or resent-
ful, but we are also risking * the
possibility that the situation will

improve and the end result will be
better. Is the reward worth the risk?

Guidepost 3. Build a climate of
trust and understanding. By our
actions and expressions let others
know that we trust them and accept
them. Parents need to let children
know that they will accept the
child's point of view, will listen to
his argument, will respect his opin-
ion. More than this, the parent
needs to say, "I respect you and
trust you enough to share my real
feelings with you, to confide in you."
Sharing begets sharing, openness
of communication begets openness
from others.

Guidepost 4. Try— and learn from
the trying. As we take a risk and
make a new trial, we may make
mistakes. Our communication may
be misunderstood, but each trial can
be seen as a learning experience—
we have learned what not to do.
Perhaps next time will be better. If
others know we are really trying to
do better, this may enhance the
climate, lessen the risk, and make
the next attempt easier and more
successful.

Guidepost 5. Keep talking. The
easiest thing to do when our com-
munication is misunderstood or pro-
duces the wrong result is to lapse
into silence, to avoid the issue or
pretend it was never said. Usually
we have to clear the communication
by adding more communication— in
the right kind of climate.

Before you buy . . . investigate
( Continued from page 285 )

The CSA, or Canadian Standards As-
sociation, is a similar seal used in
Canada. The American Gas Asso-
ciation seal in the United States
means that gas equipment has
passed the minimum requirements
of performance, construction, and
safety established by the gas industry
under the direction of the American
Standards Association.

7. Investigate the terms of your
guarantee. Read the guarantee care-
fully before you buy any piece of
equipment. Make sure you under-
stand the service to which you are
entitled. Find out the length of time

that the major operating parts are
guaranteed by the manufacturer and
how long your dealer or his author-
ized service agent will, without
charge, make any adjustment to keep
the appliance functioning properly.
A clear understanding of the guar-
antee and service before you buy
can save unpleasantness and disap-
pointment later.

8. Ask for a book of instructions
and read it carefully before you use
the appliance. This book has been
carefully prepared by a trained
home economist and will give you
complete direction for using and
caring for your appliance. Keep it
in a handy place and refer to it
often. It may save you an expensive
service call. As the old saying goes,
"If all else fails read your instruc-

tion book."

9. & 10. Use and care for the
equipment properly. These go hand
in hand. Your satisfaction will
depend upon your willingness to
learn to use and care for the equip-
ment properly so that you will be as
happy with your purchase in a year
or ten years from now as you were
the day you bought it.

Remember that "efficient use of
equipment includes the correct se-
lection, arrangement, operation and
care of appliances so that the home-
maker may accomplish the maxi-
mum amount of work with the
minimum of effort in the shortest
possible time."8

;lLouise Jenison Peet and Lenore Sater Thye,
Household Equipment, 5th Edition, (New York:
John Wiley and Sons, Inc.) 1961, p. vii.

292

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

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293

Teaching the Gospel in the
Home

(Continued from page 273)

position. He asks himself, "How does
this situation appear to my child?"
In doing so, he remembers the expe-
rience, knowledge, understanding,
and wisdom of his child.

Involvement. An individual is
more likely to understand a princi-
ple of the gospel if he, himself, is
responsible for understanding and
living it. A person appreciates
tithing when he pays tithing. A
person understands more completely
the nature of baptism if he himself
has been baptized and realizes that
baptism is the way of coming unto
the Lord, also if he has the responsi-
bility of presenting the principle of
baptism to someone else.

Naturally, a person best under-
stands something if he has had ex-
perience with it. This is one reason
why the Savior frequently used
parables or stories which couched
the principle in terms of the experi-
ence of his listeners.

Actions. Consider the following
situation: A parent tells his child to
be honest, but cheats on his income
tax, or, when someone calls on the
telephone to whom he does not wish
to speak, he says, "Tell him I am
not in." Actions speak louder than
words. If two parents are kind, con-
siderate, and patient, such behavior
is likely to be imitated by their
children. If their parents are imma-
ture and shout at each other, it is
quite likely that their children will
follow the same pattern.

Systematic Study. On many occa-
sions and for a number of years the
leaders of The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints have ad-
monished its members to hold a
regular family hour. This can be a
period in which the principles of
the gospel can be analyzed and dis-
cussed. Such occasions can be most
meaningful if held regularly and if
the family decides on projects that
deepen the understanding of a given
principle. Suppose, for example,
one were discussing the second com-
mandment, loving others as much
as we love ourselves. Each indi-
vidual member could decide on
something that would demonstrate
his love for others in a concrete

way. Perhaps he becomes a better
neighbor. Perhaps he decides that
he will be kind in the way he ad-
dresses others. At Christmas time
or other occasions he selects indi-
viduals who are in real need to
whom he gives gifts.

Teaching Moments. Some of the
greatest opportunities to help a child
gain an understanding of the prin-
ciples of the gospel arise from every-
day relationships of family members.
On these occasions, the parents can
help their children to make choices.
Often, a child will ask a parent a
question. By evading the question
or saying, "Wait a minute," he may
cause the child to lose interest or
cause him to go to other sources
to find his answer. Often, too, the

THE PAINTED DESERT
BY CLARA LASTER

Rainbows are growing

In Navajo lands,
Spilling jewel-colors

Over wavering sands,
Spiraling naked rocks

And brooding clay,
A spectrum of sunlight,

All through the day.
When rain clouds beckon,

Delicately, they curl,
Then a part of the desert

Hangs over the world.
Yes, rainbows are growing,

Bright in the clay,
And that's why the desert

Is painted that way.

situation of the moment is in the
consciousness of the child. By using
it to increase and deepen the under-
standing in the mind and soul
of the child, the parent can be
truly effective.

Suppose, for example, a child
should ask, "How can Heavenly
Father hear my prayers when so
many are praying to him at the same
time?" The parent in this situation
may take the child aside and talk to
him about how Heavenly Father
knows even when a sparrow falls to
the earth. He can explain the
greatness of God's understanding
and knowledge, how he created all
things. Then, if the child asks
questions and there is an inter-
change between the parent and

child, the teaching moment for this
principle is right, and the child's
insight will grow significantly. If a
parent is aware of the principles of
the gospel and is consciously seeking
to make them part of the lives of his
children, he can find many oppor-
tunities daily to do this.

Be Specific and not Abstract.
Children learn in specifics and not
in abstract generalities: for example,
the best way to teach tolerance is by
demonstrating tolerance to others.
If a neighboring child has been
particularly difficult, and you as a
parent invite him in to play with
your children and accept him, the
teaching of tolerance will be taught
in a specific and not an abstract
manner. You may not condone
some of the conduct of the neighbor
child, but your own children will
sense the love and acceptance and
will understand much better the
concept of tolerance. Whether it is
tolerance, honesty, love, forgiveness,
or whatever principle may be taught,
the more specific and concretely it is
taught, the more effective it will be
in the lives of children.

The Spirit in the Home. The Lord
said on one occasion, ". . . if you
receive not the Spirit ye shall not
teach." ( D&C 42: 14. ) Parents must
realize that in the home they con-
tinue to teach, whether they intend
to or not, for young children imi-
tate the parents and set up their
own patterns of behavior on the
basis of how their parents behave
toward them. If one is effective in
helping his children understand, ac-
cept, and live the principles of the
gospel, he develops in the home a
spirit of kindness, patience, and love,
following the . pattern the Savior
would have the family live.

Teaching the gospel in the home
becomes a great opportunity for
maximizing the joy of both the par-
ents and the children; extending far
beyond the confines of that single
home it affects the lives of all people
touched by these family members,
and it also has a bearing upon gen-
erations yet unborn.

It might be useful for parents to
take each one of the guideposts and
hold a family discussion concerning
its meaning. Following such dis-
cussions the parents might then
decide on some ways of implement-
ing the guideposts in the actual
day-by-day living in the home.

294

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

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29S

All the World is a Stage
( Continued from page 278 )

Karma Cornell?"

The door opened suddenly, and
there she stood. Rashell Ramone,
more beautiful than Karma had ever
dreamed. Rashell was not only
beautiful but as lean as the shoot
of a willow.

"Karma, my darling! It is you!"
The famous voice trembled slightly.
"Come in, Karma, honey."

Karma felt the tears coming. She
hadn't dreamed of such a warm
welcome. She had practised before
the mirror, offering her hand in
friendship. But this . . . these hugs
. . . and kisses on the cheek, she had
never dreamed that Rashell would
be . . . would care to remember.

"At last we're together," Rashell
murmured. "It's so good to see
you again."

"It's been a long time," Karma
said.

"Too long." Rashell held her at
arm's length and said, "You're so
pretty, so ... so unspoiled and
beautiful."

"You're the one that is beauti-
ful, Rashell."

"This is makeup, honey, and it
clings like glue. The me, beneath
all this is . . . but we won't go into
that. Tell me about my dear Karma.
Tell me about your husband."

"Well, Mike is a regular guy. He
works very hard to keep us all
sheltered, clothed, and fed, and he
helps with the children and dries
the supper dishes. That's about all
there is to tell about my life. It's
very dull, really."

"You call life dull when you have
developing children to watch? How
many little ones are there?" Rashell
seemed genuinely interested.

"Five with little Donny." Karma
smiled thinking about each little
personality.

"You are so lucky, Karma. These
children are living things, something
to have and to hold from here . . .
through eternity. You chose so
wisely." Rasheli's eyes misted.

"But tell me about yourself. Your
life must be so exciting," Karma
queried.

She watched the various memo-
ries, both good and bad, make their
small changing tides of expression
on Rasheli's face. A smile lay mo-

tionless along her mouth. "After
you left the summer stock company
to marry Mike, I went to New York.
I'd rather skip the part about
knocking on doors of agents, man-
agers, producers, and so on. Four
years later I had a bit part and a
flat on the East Eighties."

"I want to take you someplace for
lunch, where we can talk," Karma
said, looking about the windowless
dressing room with its cardboard
like walls. "Could you break away
and go down to the Emerald Room?"

"Karma, I'd like nothing better,
just sitting down to a table for two
and visiting over fried chicken and

SPEECH OF SPRING

BY GILEAN DOUGLAS

How delicately spring can say
What the autumn winds must shout;
Gently, quietly, convey
What the year is all about.

Show in radiant butterfly
Summers bright maturity,
Echo autumns scarlet cry
In a budding maple tree.

Pile a drift of dogwood white
As the porphyry of snow,
Point with every tyro flight
To the way the year must go.

mashed potatoes, and thick, rich
gravy, and two or three slices of
bread like your mother used to
bake; then top it off with homemade
ice cream, and chocolate cake. Ah,
those were the days. But it can't
be done now. I've tried on occa-
sion, and I'm simply mobbed, going
out in public, I mean. Karma, it's
just like we dreamed long ago.
There's the name in bright lights,
and people swarming about, and
there's excitement, but it isn't real
living, Karma, just acting. Honey,
you're the one that's really living,
and I envy you so much."

"And I envy you. If I could only
trade you places right today,
Ramone."

"No, dear, you're smarter than
that. But back to the luncheon
idea. If you don't mind eating here

in the dressing room with me. . . .

"Honey, I can't even eat like a real
human. If I did I wouldn't be
able to squeeze myself into this
straight jacket." Her fingers out-
lined her form.

During the lunch they talked
about their girlhood days, and
their mutual friends, where they
were and their successes in life. But
always they came back to the com-
parison of their own lives. How the
twigs had bent their separate ways.

Karma's eyes grew dreamy. "Re-
member how we used to paraphrase
Shakespeare's words : 'All the world's
a stage, and all the men and women
players; they have their exits and
their entrances and one gal in her
time plays many parts.' If I had
only made the grade, stayed with it
as you have. I, too, would be play-
ing roles now."

"Karma, darling, don't you see?
You're playing many roles, many
more than I. . . ."

Just then a knock was sounded on
the door. "Miss Ramone, you're on
stage in two minutes."

"That's my cue, honey. Be sure
and stay for the show. The door-
man will show you to the reserved
section. I'll catch my plane imme-
diately after, so I'm afraid this is
good-bye."

The famous Rashell Ramone
was gone.

Karma found it very exciting being
ushered from behind stage to her
seat near the curtain. She felt the
eyes of many upon her, as she took
her place. She was glad she had
sp'ent the money for her new beige
and brown ensemble, instead of
wearing the old paisley dress.

Only too soon the play was over,
and Karma found herself riding the
bus out to the suburbs back to her
home with Mike and the children.
The bus was not crowded at this
hour, and ho one she knew came to
occupy the seat beside her. There
was time for meditation.

"I'm glad Rashell made the grade,"
she mused. "I sort of feel an
osmosis joy in her success. Rashell
was more friendly, more human than
I ever dreamed she would be, being
so successful." Karma had wondered
if she would even care to remember
an old friendship since she became
a star. But she had remembered,
and welcomed her into her arms,
and even bought her dinner.

296

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

What was it Rashell had said
about her children? "Those children
you and Mike have are living
things, something to have and to
hold from here through eternity."
She had said something, too, right at
the last, just before her curtain.
What was it? "Karma, darling,
you're playing many roles, many
more than I."

What had she meant? Karma
thought of her own life. Was it as
simple and drab and dull and life-
less as she herself had felt it was?
She was sort of playing many roles,
just as Rashell had said. Why she,
Karma Thompson, had the role of
companion to Mike, the nicest guy
in the world. And she had the role
of mother to five growing children.
She had the role of housekeeper,
cook, nurse, buyer, manager, seam-
stress, and teacher.

Her whole success lay not in being
passably good in one or two of
these different roles, but in being
highly proficient in all of them. Her
entire family's happiness and suc-
cess in life, not only their lives ndw,
but through the coming genera-
tions, depended on how she raised
her children, how she met the de-
mands of all these many roles
she played.

As the bus came to a stop at her
corner, there was Mike waiting in
the car for her.

"How's my leading lady?" he
asked as she seated herself beside
him in the car. "Have a nice time?"

"She actually was happy to
see me!"

"And why shouldn't she be. You
were friends for. . . ."

"Mike it was simply wonderful,
and yet it's all been more than that.
It's been an eye opener for me."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, it's hard to explain, but I
will say this, Mike— though it may
sound sort of corny to you— I've
never been so glad to be just plain
Mrs. Mike Thompson as I am this
very minute."

"I don't see anything corny about
that." He eyed Karma again from
the tip of her toes to the crown of
her head, and he liked what he saw.
"I don't see anything plain about
Mrs. Thompson, either."

Mike was steering the car into the
driveway. He turned off the igni-
tion, then gathered Karma to him
affectionately.

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APRIL 1963

297

Grandmothers and

Grandfathers

( Continued from page 259 )

mellow. Kindness flowed from her
lips and was the epitome of her
living. Her family— their integrity,
their straightforwardness, their use-
fulness, and their abilities— was her
hourly concern. She overcame her
disappointments, her frustrations
with a childlike faith in God, that
has and will be an inspiration for
generations to come. She was a
noble, true mother.

Perhaps we did not become so
intimately acquainted with our
grandfather. We will remember the
crook of his cane and the twinkle of
his eyes as he snared our small legs
and drew us to him. With one arm
about us, he would hold a confiden-
tial session which generally termi-
nated in his finding a dime in his
pocket for anxious small palms.

As a boy pioneer of 1847, he had
faced the difficult starvation periods,
the land clearing, the building of
many houses in many desolate areas
to which he had been sent. His life
was that of subduing a hostile en-
vironment for the blessing of his
loved ones and his fellow men.

As children we shared our par-
ents' extreme anxiety when, as was
his wont, he must come home for
Christmas. The bridge of the river,
having been swept away, he had
himself strapped to the back of a
horse that it might swim him across
the swollen stream. The integrity of
a promise was too important to be
broken casually.

How he wanted us— his posterity—
to be strong and true!

To my very humble grandparents
we owe much by way of precept

and examples of togetherness. They
were early immigrants, unable to
acquire worldly goods and were
never privileged to attend schools
of learning. However they under-
stood with deep conviction God's
purposes for brotherly love and for-
giveness. They set an hourly exam-
ple in their home of frugality,
cleanliness, orderliness, and honest
endeavor.

Our grandparents invited their
children to help them, some baking
the bread, others providing the
staples for daily living. As children,
we pulled the little wagon filled
with bottles and bags of food to
them. Grandmother always seemed
to anticipate our coming. She would
meet us halfway on the hill to assist
us in the last long pull. We were
always rewarded by being invited
to reach into the peppermint can
and fill our small fists because she
loved and appreciated us. For our
supper, our grandfather would give
us a big white onion and a long
white radish that he had grown in
his garden.

No envy, no strife, no bitterness,
no condemnation, or criticism ever
seemed to be breathed in their pres-
ence. Everyone was expected to do
his best in honor, in honesty, and
in integrity. In the beginning grand-
mother had to walk to the river for
her culinary water. There was no
complaint; she was living in a land
of freedom, and to be free was to
expand and grow. She prided her-
self that she could look in two direc-
tions from her pioneer doorstep and
see the homes of her six children,
all well-established with farms of
their own, with means to earn a
living, and with church and civic
responsibilities.

If she became perplexed and did
not know what to do, she would
pray aloud so fervently, so sincerely,
so plaintively, that we could almost
feel that God was close beside her.
This had a tremendous impact on
our lives.

What brings a family together? It
is a cohesiveness brought about by
love and affection and sacrifice for
each other. Togetherness is a cause
of affection, and affection is a cause
of togetherness. It is a striving to-
gether to reach common goals
through working together, playing
together, worshiping together, and
helping each other, unselfishly. A
family may keep the lines of com-
munication open to each other by
being teachable and facing reality.
We live in an expanding, growing,
and changing world. As grand-
parents we must be especially inter-
ested, able to listen, to learn, and
to grow. We must be flexible,
pliant, and intelligent; willing to set
the examples of righteousness.

The eternal nature of family life,
and the eternal nature of the prin-
ciples of the abundant life that
Christ taught do not change. They
remain constant throughout all our
experiences. To love God, to love
our neighbor, to do good to them
that despitefully use you; to be
obedient to authority, to show fru-
gality, temperance, industriousness,
and display loving kindness are
principles that have been tested
through the ages and continue to
be essential to family solidarity and
togetherness. Each can test these
eternal principles according to his
capacities, his knowledge, and his
environment— the proper application
of which will produce righteousness,
togetherness, and family solidarity.

Marriage, a Growing and
Becoming

(Continued from page 263)

the best in each other, we must seek
for it and invite it to the surface.
This requires communicative explo-
ration of personalities and shared
experiences. Many couples com-
plain of a lack of pleasant experi-

ences shared together or that they
do not have time for each other.
Yet, Jesus taught that we always
have time for the "treasures of
our heart."

In a fast moving world of increas-
ing pressures we expect the family
( and, particularly the marriage part-
ner) to be understanding of the
many shifts that pressures demand.
Today's world doesn't allow much
time for spontaneous living. So, it

would seem wise for couples to make
"courtship" one of the treasures for
which time is religiously reserved.
Married life should and can have
a "sparkle!" This sparkle flows from
personalities who feel loved and
appreciated. Courtship means con-
tinually providing little courtesies
and considerations that give the
partner a feeling of being appre-
ciated. It doesn't matter what we
do as long as the partner perceives

298

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

it as "consideration." To one wife,
opening the car door is a symbol
of continuing courtesy. To another
woman an occasional gift or flowers,
an appreciative kiss when the hus-
band comes home each day, or a
telephone call from him asking her
for a dinner date may be more de-
sirable courtesies. To a man, a
favorite meal, a shared football
game, or an extra bit of attention
may be significant while "thank
you's" and compliments are always
wonderful tokens of appreciation for
both parties.

Partners give cues to desired
courtesies in daily living. If a wife
mentions a new hat, dress, or chance
to do something different, she's
probably not complaining. She may
be trying to say, "My life is so full
of routine, I'd like some help in

CALICO FLOWERS
BY ETHEL JACOBSON

Now the meadow puts aside
Her winter shawl, and Eastertide
Finds her shedding sober brown
For a gaily patterned gown.
Five-spot mallows spread and grow
To fashion skirts of calico
Crisply printed, swirling wide,
Fresh and bright for Eastertide.

making it seem more interesting—
maybe a new dress, maybe a chance
to visit with friends, or maybe just
a chance to go somewhere with you."
By observing our partner more care-
fully and listening creatively we be-
come aware of inner desires which
creative interaction should feed. Our
ability to follow through in provid-
ing satisfactions for such inner needs
gives us a very special opportunity to
feed "sparkle" into our relationship.
If more than mediocrity is desired
in a marital relationship, each part-
ner must be dedicated to search for
and contribute as much "sparkle" as
possible. Being as honest as pos-
sible, creative listening, and honest
communication help establish an
atmosphere in which "sparkle" can
thrive. Courtship should begin with
"I do" and blossom throughout eter-
nity. Marriage as a "growing and
becoming one" opens the heart-
strings from which love swells and
encompasses all.

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Please send me, without obligation, complete information on your automobile insurance for Total Abstainers.
I am a total abstainer, and have had no accidents for the past 3 [J or 5 Q years, (check one)

I have had my
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driver training

Make of Car Model Year No. of cyls course- D Yes a No

Car Is Used for:

Business Q
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...miles one way

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MYSELF

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ALL OTHER DRIVERS

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1.

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SEX

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My Auto

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Month

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Year

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AGENCY INQUIRIES INVITED

APRIL 1963

299

Living with Children

( Continued from page 277 )

we realize how common and usual
they are, we will find ourselves
worrying less. We should, as a
result, grow more comfortable, se-
cure, and certain. We can be freer
and feel at one with ourselves. As
a result, the spontaneous interaction
which we can then have with our
children should lead us to the
achievement of a richer, fuller, more
accepting way of living with chil-
dren; and as a result, we should be
able to meet our responsibility of
parenthood by helping our children
develop generous and wise under-
standing and to become a sturdier
part of the future.

Reasonable Expectations, We
want our children to be a credit to
us, but this should be rationally
measured in terms of their happiness
rather than the extent to which they
conform to the demands of our adult
world around them. We cannot ex-
pect our children, for example, to
greet our friends with as polite en-
thusiasm as we do. We cannot
expect our children to show them-
selves off to best advantage just
when we want them to. We must
come to count on the occasional em-
barrassment they create for us and
be sophisticated enough to realize
that other people who have children
will understand. All of this requires
more than merely an intelligent
understanding of children. The
patience and willingness to forgive
that comes from love are necessary.

Most of us have had fostered in
us the lifelong concept of children
as the ultimately soul-satisfying
achievement. Such buildup may
make it difficult for us to admit
freely that moments enter which are
not lovely and serene. It may make
it difficult for us to realize fully
that our relationship with our chil-
dren cannot always be harmonious
and sweet. It may make us blame
ourselves unduly for the unhappy
scenes that normally arise in the
course of any family's ongoing days.

We need to admit with honesty
that difficulties do exist. We need
to meet them with openness when
they come, but we need not make
them greater than they are. We
need not create difficulties because

of understanding too little and ex-
pecting too much.

Much trouble comes from over-
expectations. We expect the whole
adventure of having a family to be
consistently more perfect than it can
possibly be. This is one type of
overexpecting. We expect our chil-
dren, little and big, to live up to all
sorts of standards which are many
times far beyond us, but above all —
and most devastating— we expect
ourselves to be model parents,
creatures of quiet and calm.

We need desperately to under-
stand ourselves a great deal better;
and we need to understand a great
deal more about the processes by

WINDS
BY JEAN RASEY

Though cliff-winds are whip-like,
they often blow gently

Where eaglets are nesting in bluff-
seeded tree;

They tumble and run with a cotton-
soft bunting

And frolic with larks on a wildberry
lea.

The winds of the highlands and low-
lands are playing

With fledgelings, bright-feathered,
fust learning to fly;

They run in quick flurries to bolster
their efforts

To soar on wide wings down a bit
of blue sky.

which children grow and develop
and mature.

Guidance. A major responsibility
of living with children is to provide
guidance to them based upon sound
principles and healthy attitudes— a
kind of experience which nurtures
and encourages growth to take place
rather than attempting to mold a
child into our preconceived dream
or by trying to exact strict obedience.

We do not teach or educate a
child rightly by merely putting
things into his mind. This holds
dormant what would otherwise be
unfolding intelligence. A part of
sound character-building is calling
forth the child's own efforts. He
must participate in the process of
experiencing, feeling, and working.
In this way, he grows in comprehen-
sion, understanding, and ability.

Our children will learn the values

which we seek to teach them
through our own integrity and clar-
ity. Only with inward consistency
can we develop a child's character,
and it is a continuous process. It
comes out of an impetus which the
child himself feels in response to our
right teaching and feeling, an impe-
tus which calls forth the urge to do
his best.

The development of goodness and
strength is the development of life
and character. This is our function
as parents.

As we try to provide the best kind
of guidance and training for our
children, our main goal should be to
arrange circumstances which sur-
round the child in such a way that
it is easy rather than hard for him to
learn. As we attempt to help our
children learn new and/or improved
ways of living, we need to be aware
that the first task in any attempt at
new learning is in the area of atti-
tude. A child who does something
under duress to please somebody for
reward or to avoid punishment
learns with little energy at his dis-
posal. It is easy for us to distinguish
between halfhearted and whole-
hearted participation. When desire
to do or have has become whole-
hearted, the child has his whole
self to focus upon it.

Another important point for us as
parents to keep in mind is to trust
co-operation as a major contributor
to growth and development. We
have learned for certain that chil-
dren accomplish more through co-
operation than through competition.
Whether it be building a diving
stand for the lake or prettying up
the horse for the horse show, what
is done together yields more in
human values than children pitted
against each other. There is no
question but what competition does
obtain results in many ways, such
as keeping a room tidy, attaining
higher grades, etc., but in appraising
our responsibilities of rearing chil-
dren we must look beyond the
accomplishment of an immediate
task to the human values which are
being developed either intentionally
or unintentionally, consciously or un-
consciously. There is considerable
support for the point of view that
competition with one's fellow, rather
than co-operation with him, is a
tool of defensiveness.

Children need to live in a climate

300

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

which is heavily laden with the
"three L's." They should live and
learn and love. In order to accom-
plish the achievement of such cli-
mactic conditions, the following
observations are offered: (1) It is
helpful to treat children with the
kind of concern and seriousness with
which we like to be treated. (2) It
is helpful for children to live in an
atmosphere in which they can make
their own mistakes gracefully and
be courageous enough to profit by
them. They, like ourselves, tend to
alter or adorn the truth when they
feel the inequality of themselves and
the truth as it is. (3) Children will
tend to emphasize in their values
that which they find others empha-
sizing. (4) The skill to live abun-
dantly lies more largely in one's
interpretation of his environment
than in the actual richness of it.
One learns to love by being asso-
ciated with good lovers. And
those who learn to love have good
life insurance.

Love. Every well-meaning parent
believes he loves his child, yet how
many have thought deeply about the
meaning of love? Behind all of our
teaching, assisting, and training of
children, there must lie a clear in-
sight into love and an understanding
of its true expression. Our children
are a reflection of that love. We see
the reflections around us every day
and read of their problems in every
newspaper and magazine. We see
children whose parents quite evi-
dently love them, but whose lack of
insight into love has brought them
unhappy and sometimes tragic re-
sults. Thus the questions arise,
what is the love our children need
and how do we express it?

Is it love that showers the child
with gifts and belongings, steers him
toward a predetermined niche, or
sets him on a throne for glorifica-
tion? Is it love that sternly tries to
push the child toward premature
adulthood, prodding him along with
scolding, disapproval, and physical
punishment? Is it love that prompts
us to keep everything pleasant by
allowing the child to do anything
that will keep him "happy" and
pleased with us? Is it love that
makes us reluctant to interfere or to
spoil his "fun" when the need for
direction is there? Is it love that
makes us afraid that he won't
love us?

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301

Neither permissive indulgence nor
rigid demands reflect the insight of
love. We need to recognize and
make our own, that less familiar
form of love which comes from a
deeper level and transfigures the
entire relationship between parent
and child. Real love is wisdom. It
loves wisely and educates its child-
dren in the ways of wisdom. It is
an unselfish love.

Living together means playing to-
gether, solving problems together,
cleaning house together, cooking
meals and baking cookies together.
It means being responsible for one
another in sickness and health,
helping each other when happy or
unhappy. It means enjoying the
house together, protecting the furni-
ture together because it belongs to
everyone in the family and has to
last a long time. It means learning
new things which bring us happi-
ness and sharing experiences as
they occur.

Children learn the art of living
together happily by participating
day after day. They are a part of all
that goes on, and if you forget their
part, even in what seems a trifle, you
can cause heartaches. There are no
easy lessons which help children
learn to live with others, and they
cannot live one kind of life during
the first five years and suddenly ac-
quire different techniques after that.

Living, working, playing with
children day by day and week after
week must not be underestimated.
If you step back and look at it, you
will realize that the responsibility
is staggering. When you watch
children grow day by day, the
responsibility grows along with the
child, and therefore, it is not heaped
upon you suddenly. Living happily,
successfully, creatively with children
in a family must be a continu-
ous process.

What are the ingredients that must
be put together and mixed well to
get true co-operation— not the sur-
face kind? Real teamwork in the
family is found where consideration
for others plus an honest attitude
are in action— not just talked about.
This should be something so basic
that it is always present and rises
when needed. Being thoughtful of
others is a basic personality char-
acteristic that should be developed
in all children. The easiest way to
help the young child start on this

development is to make sure that
he sees and hears thoughtfulness
all about him.

Every family tries to have as few
crises as possible, but there will be
some in spite of our best efforts.
When they appear, it is better for
everyone to focus on a possible solu-
tion than to prolong the argument
of who is to blame for what. When
peace and friendliness have been
restored, happy human relations
among the members of the family
are re-established.

To get the family through a crisis
of any kind, the number one need is
for cool heads and good judgment.

APRIL RAIN SONG
BY HELEN C. BUTLER

Pink clouds against the midnight sky
On feathered wings appear to fly.
Some lithe as youth, some bent with

age

Skirt across the darkened stage.

Footlights dim burn here and there

Of solemn duty unaware.

Glistening branches bare-limbed
mourn,

Their frail buds straining to be bom.

April's tears are but brief sorrow,

Dried by the sunshine of tomorrow.

If one member of the family can
only say and do the right thing, he
will save the day and set an exam-
ple for others to follow the next
time. Consistent practice of good
judgment at times like these will be
invaluable, and the next time need
not be a difficult time if we learn
from past experience.

There will be days when it seems
that every member of the family is
pulling in a different direction, when
no two agree on anything. It is
difficult to be reasonable or calm
on a day like that, but for every
really rough day, there are many
when consideration and co-operation
predominate. Remember these good
days, forget the others, except when
you analyze to see how they can
be avoided.

In order to evaluate how well we
are doing in our task of living with
children, we might ask ourselves

some of the following questions:
Are the avenues for giving and re-
ceiving love open? Are these chil-
dren of ours able to express affection
—to give it and receive it? And, as
they grow, do they express affection
outside and beyond the walls of
their home? How about their re-
sponse to others?

How about their sense of belong-
ing? Can they participate in their
own endeavors? Can they add their
effort to the effort of others?

Can they feel that their efforts,
though frequently fumbling, are
nonetheless worthwhile? And are
they able, also, to take credit for
their achievements? Are they able
to see that the process of doing pos-
sesses worth as does also the product
resulting out of what has been done?

Can our children face and ex-
press their feelings, their wants,
fears, and unfulfilled yearnings? Can
they talk about these with us and
in talking help to clarify issues and
to lessen the stress? Do they dare
put into words what is hurting them
deeply? Do they dare protest what-
ever is unfair and unjust?

Do our children have courage?
Can they face new horizons? Can
they adjust as they go on living to
changing conditions, still able to feel
that they are wanted and worth-
while, still able to feel that they fit
and belong?

What our children are is one meas-
ure of our success. What we are is
another. These very same ques-
tions, these same considerations
apply not alone to our children.
They apply as well to ourselves.

Living with children can be one
of the most challenging and one of
the most sacred experiences we can
have in this life. Responsibility is the
keynote— a responsibility squarely
shouldered and strongly based on
self-awareness, willingness to grow,
and a clear knowledge of what a
child is, and what, with love, he may
become. There is no formula or set
of rules which can be set down.
Rather it is a matter of learning to
develop wise attitudes and the abil-
ity to love freely and creatively. It
may be discouraging to some, but
the potentiality for achievement,
service, and contribution is far-
reaching. The few precious years
with our children wisely spent offer
our greatest hope of securing a
better world.

302

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Homes to Live In

(Continued from page 275)

ingredients to make it work and
give comfort, have beauty, and
personality.

The single most important ele-
ment in decorating is color. If you
do not have a natural feel for color,
that is no cause for concern. Color
has become an exact science, and
your nearest paint store has helpful
guides to assist you. But to begin
with, choose the colors that you like,
colors that you feel comfortable
around. Beware of well-meaning
friends and some sales people who
may tell you emphatically that
"They" are not using certain colors
this season. "That was a year ago."
Remember that the house you are
furnishing is for you and your family
to live in.

There are many ways to build
liveable color schemes. Start with a
color you like and use a chart to
help you select harmonizing hues.
Another way is to select a beautiful
fabric, or use one you already have,
and build a color scheme around it.

Perhaps you have a treasured pic-
ture; if so, let it be the inspiration
for your color scheme, selecting the
soft muted tones fof backgrounds,
and the more vivid colors for ac-
cents. Color is exciting and chal-
lenging. You can v/ork wonders with
it. Besides making a room warm or
cool, light or dark, you can alter its
apparent size and proportion. There
are many tricks you can do with
color to help solve your decorating
problems. Closely blended colors
can conceal defects; contrasting
colors can emphasize a lovely object.
Some colors are restful and soothing;
use these over large areas. Other
colors are stimulating and active;
these are better used in small
amounts as accents.

The real fun of decorating comes
in working with fabrics. Never has
there been such a variety from
which to choose for any manner of
room or any purpose. Fabrics with
fast color, plain and textured weaves,
classic or contemporary design,
washable and drip-dry, are available
at nominal cost. With a few yards
of colorful fabric and a little imagi-
nation you can work real magic.

If you are a do-it-yourselfer, there
is probably nothing which, with so
little effort and expense, makes so
much difference as painting or
papering walls. Improvements in
paints and painting methods have
taken much of the mess and tedious
work out of the process.

For your selection the market is
virtually exploding with rich and
varied wall coverings. Paper, fab-
rics, and plastics which are wash-
able, scrubbable, pretrimmed, and
prepasted are available to suit any
room of any style.

The largest single investment for
the interior of your home is usually
the floor coverings. Choose your
rugs and carpets carefully from a
reputable dealer. A good quality
is the best economy.

Carpets and rugs add to the feel-
ing of well being of the family by
making the home attractive and live-
able and bringing all the furnishings
into harmony. They add warmth,
quiet, comfort, safety, and beauty.

Before choosing your furniture de-
cide on the general theme or feeling
you wish to achieve in your home.
If you are a sentimental family who

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APRIL 1963

303

likes tradition and a friendly infor-
mal atmosphere, then Early Ameri-
can may suit you.

If you like a bit more elegance,
yet a homey and comfortable feel-
ing, French Provincial (probably the
most versatile of all furniture) may
be your choice.

If a formal atmosphere becomes
you then perhaps the eighteenth
century Georgian, which is having a
revival at the present time, will
appeal to you. The present wave of
prosperity in America, the new atti-
tude of the country's museums, the
restoration of many famous old
houses, and the re-decorating of the
White House by Mrs. Kennedy and
her committee are stimulating a new
interest in furnishings out of Ameri-
ca's past. Some aspects of tradition
may be to smile at, but there is much
to be learned from tradition— a sense
of proportion, the difference be-
tween simplicity and austerity, and
the combination of beauty and
practicality. Our forefathers were a
practical people, and we can learn
much from emulating them, keeping
in mind our modern methods
and conveniences.

If the Contemporary is more to
your liking, there is a great range
from which to choose— from the

plain functional to the classical, and
from the clean lines of the Scandi-
navian to the exotic Oriental.

Whatever you choose, do not feel
that you should follow slavishly one
style. It would be monotonous. A
room which is purely authentic in
every detail can be very dull.

Give a room character by giving
it an element of surprise. Dare to
use your imagination. Fragments of
old beauty or old treasures from the
attic can turn into useful decora-
tions for a modern room and add
personality and charm.

Simple ideas can lend enchant-
ment to plain rooms. A graceful
branch in a simple vase and a care-
fully placed spotlight can add a
touch of glamour to an otherwise
dull corner.

In planning and decorating indi-
vidual rooms, encourage family mem-
bers to contribute their ideas. Let a
boy's room reflect him. With the
wonderful new fabrics and floor
coverings it can be both attractive
and boy-proof. A girl's room can be
as frilly and dainty as her heart de-
sires and yet be "drip-dry."

A boon to family living is the re-
turn of the dining room. How can a
family learn the art of gracious living

sitting on stools eating from a
counter three times a day? When
the family is gathered around a well-
appointed table, it is the best oppor-
tunity for teaching the little arts of
refinement, as well as sharing daily
experiences. The separate dining
room should be a must in every
home, where family unity is im-
portant, even at the expense of
cutting corners elsewhere. For in-
stance, bedrooms need not be large.
A room barely large enough for a
bed, a chest, and a chair is adequate
to offer its occupant that precious
feeling of having one's own private
domain. The extra space is more
important placed where the family
gathers.

Let your personality and the per-
sonalities of your family be felt
throughout your home. Let your
house reflect an active interest in a
rich and full life of books, music,
hobbies, and religion.

In your home, in everything you
have and everything you do, a sense
of appropriateness is vital to the
feeling of well-being of each mem-
ber who dwells within. Remember
that homes are to live in, and the
most important ingredient of your
home is the people.

These Times

( Continued from page 246 )

cient educational, religious, social,
and economic functions of the family
are supplemented by state, church,
corporation, and other associations.

Perhaps one reason is because the
modern family has become so mobile
and nomadic. Assess your own fam-
ily situation. Here is mine: I have
had over twenty addresses, includ-
ing ten of my father's. His house-
hold moved ten times in the first
fourteen years but maintained the
same address during the last four
decades— something of a record in
this day and age, and a factor of
some stability, I believe, in affording
a central address all children and
grandchildren will remember.

Our nomadic ancestors, including
Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph,
moved about also. Joseph, you will
recall, went to Egypt and made good
at the age of today's high school

student. It was a nice climate. Food
was plentiful. Joseph was influential,
and his brothers followed. Even
Jacob, in his old age, moved to
Egypt as folk today go to Florida,
Texas, Arizona, or California. The
Hebrews maintained their unique
family traditions, although their eco-
nomic situation changed. This was
because of the religious basis of
their family life. They undoubtedly
had family prayers.

States' rights movements have
sprung up to help vitalize local gov-
ernment in our centralizing age.
Chambers of commerce, national
trade and professional associations
have emerged to try to conserve the
values of separate and private eco-
nomic groupings. But where is
the National Association of Heads
of Families? Or the American
Association for the Advancement of
Homemakers? Or the Husbands
and Wives Benevolent and Pro-
tective Association?

There will not be any, nor should
there be. Somehow, as observed

some time ago in this column,
("Time for the Family: The Chil-
dren Speak," Era, Vol. 63:132,
1960), we must keep the family
afloat. It will require determination,
patience, sacrifice, and above all
intelligence and hard work. Re-
ligious leadership in that great,
primary organization, the family, will
simply have to function. As time
goes by, I have decided, for myself
at least, that to be a good deacon
at home during snatches of time,
seven days a week, is much harder
than being a good deacon for an
hour and a half at Sunday School.
Both are important, but the first is
harder than the last— in retrospect.
The standard quorum award for the
family is one we will all have to
compute, establish, and win for our-
selves, in our own time, with our
own limitations. This is our religious
duty, not the bishop's. He has a
family, too. And he often needs
two cars, one a station wagon, so his
wife and family can join the other
family caravans.

304

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Living with Leisure

( Continued from page 281 )

aside for the health and happiness
that only a "family night" can bring,
a day should never pass without en-
joyable family moments in addition
to mealtimes and family prayers.

A first essential of family activity
is to make sure the whole family
actually does something. It is easy
for individuals, and even whole
families, to drift into what J. B.
Nash, former dean of the College of
Physical Education at Brigham
Young University, calls the "mental
flophouses of recreation." He is re-
ferring to a recreation diet made up
exclusively of movies, television,
pulp magazines, comic books, and
watching this or watching that
activity.

There is nothing bad about spec-
tator activities, he says, but they are
far from adequate. Much of this
type of recreation is low grade, poor
quality, has only a relatively few
participants, and develops a race of
people who are willing to let the
other man do their thinking for
them. The first principle governing
family recreation should be: "Be
ye doers!"

Variety should be a key word in
selecting family activities. Proper
recreation should include reading,
singing, studying, some activity
games, and some creative effort— all
sprinkled with laughter and good
humor. In one particular family, a
favorite recreation hour is spent in
helping Mother prepare her weekly
Sunday School visual aid material.
Family recreation can go hand in
hand with religious learning and
should be an integral part of every
day's routine.

And make it profitable. Families
must look upon leisure and whole-
some recreation to help open the
doors to understanding and enjoying
the arts, sharpening their physical
and mental skills, understanding the
world about them, and learning
democratic living. Living with
leisure recognizes the task of en-
riching lives, strengthening bodies,
and stimulating dulled minds.

Luther Gulick, a pioneer of youth
organizations in America, once said:
"If you want to know what a child is,
study his form of play; if you want
to affect what he will be, direct that
form of play."

Distinctive

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APRIL 1963

305

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The Family Dollar

( Continued from page 267 )

meanings in money and conse-
quently feel different about it. This
is evidenced in the catchwords and
slang expressions that we are all
familiar with. The old saying, "He
who pays the piper, may call the
tune," shows that we see hard cash
as the equivalent of power. Many
consider it a reward for, or the
equivalent of, being virtuous. There
is still a strong tendency to make
wealth the only measure of success.
Certainly the Savior saw this tend-
ency and warned against it repeat-
edly. Considering this very condition
he said:

". . . Take heed, and beware of
covetousness: for a man's life con-
sisteth not in the abundance of the
things which he possesseth." (Luke
12:15.)

The job of income management
and family happiness would be
made much easier if we could de-
velop more fully the feeling and at-
titude of stewardship, as explained
in section 104 of the Doctrine and
Covenants. This principle of ste-
wardship in ownership of physical
property and money is very impor-
tant as it invests all ownership with
benevolence. This attitude will take
from materialism its power to en-
slave men and rob them of their
altruistic ideals.

As we develop understanding of
money and its uses in the family, it
is of great necessity to develop fam-
ily financial plans and goals. There
are many sources of expert advice in
formulating these plans, but they
should cover the following areas:

1. Church obligations— tithing, fast
offerings, ward budget, etc.

2. Protection— adequate insurance,
including life, health, home, and
automobile coverage.

3. Emergency fund— most writers
agree that this should be anywhere
from two to three times your
monthly income.

4. Investment programs— including
home ownership.

5. Family progress— such as mis-
sions and education.

Once these long-range goals have
been established, the family will be
able to figure out what will have to
be done to achieve their long-range

family plans. The most important
single tool is the family budget. Per-
haps the most important thing to re-
member in budgeting is to make it
a family affair involving all family
members. This was illustrated rather
poignantly in the best seller (as well
as the movie version) I Remember
Mama. Every Saturday evening this
Swedish immigrant family sat around
their kitchen table to allocate their
money. Papa, who previously had
converted his paycheck into cur-
rency, put that week's money on the
table. Mama put aside a certain
amount of that money for next
week's food, a certain amount for
the rent, some for "the bank," etc.
Then the family as a whole decided
what to do with the remainder. If
it should turn out that Johnny
needed a new pair of trousers and
Edith needed a pair of shoes, but
not enough money was available for
both, the choice was made on the
basis of comparative need. Should
the family decide that Johnny
needed trousers more than Edith
needed shoes, money would be put
aside for the trousers, with the un-
derstanding that Edith's shoes would
have top priority the next week.

Specialists on budgeting recom-
mend that the family not try to
make their expenditures conform
with any preconceived percentage
norms. Instead, the family should
keep records of their actual expendi-
tures for 3 to 4 months to discover
what they already are doing. Then
they must decide which of their
disbursements should be decreased
and which should be increased to
promote the family's well-being over
the long run.

There are two principal methods
of budgeting, with many variants of
each; viz: (1) the envelope method,
where the month's allotment for
each category of spending is placed
in an envelope, and (2) the checking
account method. In the first method,
difficulties are likely to arise as a
consequence of "borrowing" funds
from one envelope to another to
meet pressing emergencies. When
this is done, record must be made of
it and a later adjustment made.

The checkbook method of budget-
ing throws all income items into a
common fund with fixed limitations
being established for expense dis-
tribution. Checks are drawn for
various purposes; entries are then

306

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

summarized at the end of each day
in expense distribution columns.
When the budgeted amount for each
category has been used up, no
further checks can be drawn for that
purpose until the next account-
ing period.

The first method is subject to risk
of loss or theft. A second shortcom-
ing is that no expenditure records
would be available at the end of the
year, and such information is very
helpful to have at income tax time.
The second is usually to be pre-
ferred. Not only are the funds
safer, but receipts in the form of can-
celled checks are available to prove
that obligations have been paid.

But whatever its form, your bud-
get must have these three essential
traits: reality, practicality, and
currency.

Reality means taking all the fam-
ily resources into account on the
income side and recognizing all of its
obligations, present and potential, on
the expenditure side. Perhaps most
important of all is to budget a sav-
ings program. No wishful thinking
should be present on either side.

Practicality means being honest
with yourself about what is possible
so that you don't shoot for unattain-
able goals with their attendant re-
strictions which are impossible to
live with.

Currency in this context means
both up-to-dateness and free cash
reserves. Emergencies, bargains, etc.,
continuously arise and throw the
budget off unless the family has a
sufficient reserve of funds to take
care of them.

In conclusion, then, remember our
sacred obligation to spend our fam-
ily dollars wisely for the accom-
plishment of our worthy, long-range
family goals. Without a budget to
guide us, we are in danger of spend-
ing for things which we strongly
desire at the moment because of
high powered advertising or human
weaknesses, but which are relatively
unimportant to us in the long run.
That person understands money best
who regards it as a means to an
end, and that person understands
it least who regards it solely as the
objective of daily endeavor; that is,
as an end in itself. Thrift is an ad-
mirable virtue; miserliness is not.
Money was created to be spent.
Thrift is wise spending— not impru-
dent frugality.

Dr. W. C.

Alvarez

Dr. Alvarez is emeritus
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for the Mayo Clinic
and he writes a column
for leading newspapers
throughout the country.
Deseret News readers
find he gives them valuable
information about their
health. His columns are
written to be understood by
everyone. Find them on
the page opposite the editor
ials in your family news-
paper . . .

The

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APRIL 1963

307

M

• Fundamentally, quorums provide the means by
which men may associate and share spiritual experi-
ences, unite-in assisting brethren to improve themselves
economically, and provide a pleasant and satisfying
social life with high and ennobling standards of
conduct. All of these purposes must be embedded
in a well-conceived program, the* detail of which is
followed constantly.

The first spiritual experience is best found by keep-
ing the commandments and furthering the work of
the Lord. His work, he said, was to "bring to pass the
immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39.)
Both of these desired fruits expand our activity to
matters beyond the grave. None of us may assume
that we are fully helping the Lord's work by enjoying
the social association alone. Neither can we be con-
sidered completely active for eternity by giving
succor or financial assistance to a fellow member.

We have been told that the highest opportunities
in the hereafter cannot be had without husband and
wife together. Sad indeed would be the outlook for
those who have gone on before without bringing about
the eternal sealing for themselves if it were not for the
provision that this short life is not the end of hearing
or of accepting the principles of eternal life. Knowing
this, the quorum presidency will provide for intense
activity for its members.

This activity divides itself into two parts:

MELCHiZEDEK
PRIESTHOOD

'TA is Is My Work...

The Ward Genealogy Committee
and. the Quorum

308

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

1. Visits to the temples by members and their wives
to do ordinance work for the dead. These should
be frequent.

2. Seeking out names of ancestors and properly pre-
paring them for ordinance work in the temple.

It is the practical application of the second activity
which concerns us.

To do this technical and exacting work needs prac-
tical training. For this purpose the ward committee
on genealogy is organized. On that committee sits
a member of the quorum. In the past it has satisfied
the demands of the office to have a quorum member
on the ward committee. That was all. That man
promptly lost his quorum identity and became ab-
sorbed in the ward committee. He felt no more
responsibility for quorum members than for any other
ward member.

Such a situation is not good. The quorum member
should represent the quorum and should have as his
purpose the stirring up and teaching members of the
quorum residing in the ward the work of seeking
after their dead. He should report to the quorum
presidency the results of his efforts and seek their
help in further pressing the work.

Therefore, the man who represents the quorum on
the ward genealogical committee should be appointed
as a member of the quorum church service committee.

This man should be the joint choice of the bishop
and the quorum president. The bishop has the final

appointive power in this case, but if the member is
to feel any responsibility for quorum members he must
know, too, that the assignment is a quorum assign-
ment as well and that the check up will be by the
quorum presidency as much as by the bishop.

The Application of the Idea

The quorum president approaches the bishop and
says:

"You are going to appoint a man from our quorum
to be a member of the ward genealogy committee.
What would you think of John Doe? He will work
with the quorum members in your ward. We'd like
to give him the activity." There will be some discus-
sion and in some cases compromises. But in the end
agreement will be reached.

Then it would be wise for both men to make a joint
call on the member, each explaining his own outlook.
The bishop tells him of his general responsibility,
while the quorum president shows him his specific
responsibility toward quorum members in the ward.

The bishop checks up on the ward genealogical
committee.

The quorum presidency checks up on the quorum
church service committee— especially on the genea-
logical work in the ward.

This is one step toward preparing for the millennial
reign a little sooner.

APRIL 1963

309

ADVICE

TO
YOUNG

MEN

THE

PRESIDING

BISHOPRIC'S

PAGE

BY O. LESLIE STONE

If I were you, I would exercise great
care in choosing my close friends. The
influence of our friends and com-
panions is very great indeed. The
saying that one bad apple in a barrel
can spoil the rest is very true. The
actions and ideals of those we asso-
ciate with cannot help but have a
profound influence on our own lives
and actions for either good or evil.

Dr. Ralph Bunche of the United
Nations was asked, "What one factor
do you attribute your success to?"
and his answer was, "I learned to
walk in the company of Good People."

If I were you, I would make every
effort to establish good work habits.
This is important in everything we do
from earning a living to the work we
do at home or in our Church. A boy
who is lazy at home will be lazy in
school, a lazy missionary, and a lazy
worker for his employer.

One can attain good work habits
only by getting at the work to be
done at the time it needs to be done,
applying reasonable diligence, and
taking pride in a good performance.
The habit of being prompt and accu-
rate in all that we do is essential to
good work habits.

If I were you, I would give careful
attention to my personal appearance.
Good grooming is important to all of
us throughout our entire lives. This
doesn't mean that we have to be
dressed up in our "Sunday best" at all
times. We can wear clothes to fit
the occasion. Personal cleanliness is

310

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

likewise essential to good grooming.

As an employer I always pass up the fellows who
wear handle-bar mustaches or grow beards, or who
wear long hair, or who dress like "beatniks."

You will generally find that a fellow who really
wants to get ahead and be a dependable leader is
careful about and uses good taste in his per-
sonal appearance.
I

If I were you, I would make every possible effort

to be honest in all my dealings. Honesty is one of
the most important attributes a young man can have.
Boys and men who can be trusted are always in
demand. Our Heavenly Father deemed this so im-
portant he made it one of the Ten Commandments,
"Thou shalt not steal."

If we are to be honest, we must not only refrain
from stealing but we must do a good honest day's
work for a day's pay. When one shirks on the job,
he is "stealing" time from his employer, and this is
nearly as bad as stealing money or merchandise. If
a man wastes thirty minutes a day, it is equivalent to
three and one-half work weeks in a year.

Honesty also includes the keeping of one's word
or contract. It is important to pay our obligations on
due date or make prior arrangements with our
creditors if we are unable to do so. A good credit
reputation is essential for success.

Be careful to live within your income. To spend
consistently more than you earn only makes it more
difficult to avoid temptation.

If we are honest in our small dealings, we acquire
the habit, and we will then find it easier to be
honest in handling larger transactions.

Be honest with the Lord by paying your tithes and
offerings and thus make yourself eligible to receive
the great blessings which are promised to those
who comply with this law.

Most of all be honest with yourself in all things and
then you cannot help but be honest with others.
Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet—

"To thine own self be true and it must follow
as the night the day thou canst not then be
false to any man."

If I were you, I would set goals that would chal-
lenge my best ability. A person doesn't get very far
in this life unless he knows where he is going. The
setting of goals is a continuous process all through
life. We look ahead and plan for the coming week,
month, and year. We also should have long range
goals we are working toward.

Aim high— think big— for unless you do, you will

probably end up an "average" which is only the best
of the worst and the worst of the best.

Don't be a drifter. Be the master of your destiny.

If I were you, I would be active in priesthood and
other church programs. Staying close to the Church
and taking advantage of opportunities to learn, de-
velop, and act is very important in this life and
necessary for one to gain salvation in the celestial
kingdom of our Heavenly Father.

The Church provides unlimited opportunity for us
to learn and develop ourselves through priesthood,
seminary, Sunday School, MIA, Sacrament, and other
meetings. It takes effort on our part to take advan-
tage of these opportunities. No one can give us a
"testimony" or "knowledge." Nor can one buy these
treasures. They can only be secured through
individual effort.

I firmly believe you can be what you want to be
in life. All you need do is to set your goals and then
work and sacrifice to the extent necessary to reach
your destination. It is worth the effort. It can be
done. Man's greatest success and joy come through
"keeping the commandments." One of my favorite
scriptures is found in Matthew 6:33:

". . . seek ye first the kingdom of God, and
his righteousness; and all these things shall
be added unto you."

O. LESLIE STONE

O. Leslie Stone is president of the Oakland-Berkeley
Stake, chairman of the Oakland Welfare Region, and chair-
man of the Oakland Temple District.

He married Dorothy Cobbley in the Salt Lake Temple,
April 23, 192k. Their family consists of four sons.

President Stone is the co-founder and chairman of the
board of Skaggs-Stone, Inc., wholesale distributors of gen-
eral merchandise. He is the former vice-president of
Safeway Stores, Inc.

APRIL 1963

311

Food Time, Family Time

TODAY'S FAMILY, FLORENCE B. PINNOCK, EDITOR

• The shout, "Come and get it," the announcement,
"Madam, dinner is served," the call, "Hurry, the pro-
gram is beginning, take your tray in front of the
TV," all add up to one thing, it is time to eat. This
universal pa~stime is a compelling habit, one we were
born with and one that continues throughout life. A
tighter knot of family unity is tied around a dinner
table than at any other place. It has been tritely
said that a family that plays together stays together,
and it can be truly said that a family that eats to-
gether meets together under an umbrella of under-
standing, patience, and love.

Hurry, hurry, hurry is the enemy of family dining
together. Graciousness goes out the door when hurry
comes in. Dinner doesn't have to be at 6 pm if 7 or 5
would suit the convenience of everyone better. Be
flexible, but work at improving the family eating
time. Lives can be rearranged so that a dinner hour
can be a family hour; that is, if every member cares
enough to plan toward this end. Some who read
this will say, "It is all right to write about these things
but just try to make them work in my family. We
never know when Dad will get home; big brother
works after school; babies are so cross and sleepy
that they just can't be included; mother often gets
home late; and dinner is never ready at a specified
time." Of course, we can take a negative outlook,
but there is not one of us but could come much closer
to the goal of gracious, happy family eating if we
work harder at it. Plan, plan, plan, not just Mother
but every member of the family! Gathering daily,
together around a family dinner table is worth
every effort.

Food should look appetizing, smell good, and be
served with loving care. I know one mother who
concentrates on always having something cooking
that smells enticing when her family comes home at
night. It is her way of saying, "Welcome home,
dear ones."

The average dinner table looks different now from
Grandmother's time. Her snowy white tablecloth
and large linen napkins each folded neatly in indi-
vidual napkin rings are replaced often by colorful
place mats and large, soft paper napkins. But re-

member, nothing replaces cleanliness and table setting
care. Daughters and even sons can learn to set the
table correctly. Knives, forks, spoons, glasses, and
napkins each have a special place neatly lined up, so
the over-all picture is one of order. A four-year-old
can save Mother many steps and feel so big in the
process. Just recently a little two-year-old decided
that it was dinner time and went to the drawer
where the napkins were kept and taking a stack
placed them around the dinner table. When the
grandmother found him, he was seated with arms
folded and head bowed waiting for the blessing.

The best china and silver are there to be used and
enjoyed. Actions of the children, in many cases, will
match the table setting. Home is the best place
on earth to teach politeness and consideration of one
another. A five-year-old son is not too young to hold
Mother's chair with big brother doing the same for
a sister. When the girls are old enough, assign one
to remove soiled dishes from the table, another to
serve the dessert. As often as possible make dinner
preparation a family affair. A serving cart can be
an important part of setting and clearing off the
table. It is also handy as a side table to hold extra
bowls and dishes. One of the easiest and most
gracious ways of serving is to place the stack of
dinner plates in front of the father and have him serve
the meat dish and pass each plate to Mother to serve
the vegetables. This helps to make the serving
smoother, especially when there are small children
who cannot help themselves.

Dining room eating should not be a thing of the
past. It is good to serve at least one meal a day in
the dining room as the children are growing up. High
chairs can be placed on large squares of plastic cloth
to protect the rug, and pieces of waxed paper or
plastic wrap can be placed under the dinner plates
of the tiny ones and still give the effect of a cor-
rectly set table.

Make dinner time a happy interval in each day. It
is no time for quarreling, airing grievances, correcting
misdeeds of the day, complaining, or criticizing.
Someone added never talk of the "4 D's" at the dinner
table— dirt, disease, debt, and death. It is so easy for

APRIL 1963

313

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The Improvement

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big sister to complain that little
brother chews too loudly and talks
with his mouth full of food and that
elbows are rested on the table. This
instruction should be done at an-
other time by Mother or Father,
with the only teaching done at the
table by good example. Precious,
joyful memories can be made around
the dinner table. It can be a place
to learn about each other and a
place for good conversation to be
enjoyed. One family, each day, as-
signs a different child to come to
dinner prepared to introduce an in-
teresting topic of conversation. The
father in this family keeps his mind
on the subject and uses this time
really to get acquainted with his
children. Another family, who had
lived three years in a foreign coun-
try, one night a week at dinner
speaks only in that foreign language.
Another family has a hobby of each
member telling about something
different he has noticed during the
day or of explaining something new
he has learned. All this is good but
don't take the family informality out
of dining. A stilted feeling is not
harmonious to a happy family group.

Each family can build up its own
food traditions. This could be done,
perhaps, by having the same popular
dinner every Saturday night. It
might be oyster stew and crackers
or baked beans and brown bread or
maybe just spaghetti and a green
salad. Or the family tradition could
just cover special days such as
birthdays. One family has the tra-
dition that the birthday person
doesn't do any work on his birthday,
and the other members of the family
close in the gap. The birthday
dinner is always special, and the
honored person may choose the meat
course and the flavor of the ice
cream. A tall light sponge cake is
the traditional birthday cake in
that family.

All families have their favored
foods. I would like to suggest seven
recipes, some of which you may like
to add to your choice recipe file.

Barbecue Bread with
Beefburgers

2 cups biscuit mix
1 tablespoon instant minced onion
% cup grated sharp cheddar cheese
1 teaspoon prepared mustard

% cup milk

Combine the biscuit mix, minced
onion, and cheese. Stir in the milk
to which has been added the mus-
tard. Roll to about V2 inch thick and
cut into biscuits. Sprinkle the tops
with sesame seeds. Bake in 400 de-
gree F. oven about 10 minutes or
until golden brown. Make the bis-
cuits large and serve broiled beef-
burgers in them.

Tasty Eggs

While scrambling eggs add a dash
of Tabasco, instant onion, chopped
ripe olives, and some finely minced
parsley for a delicious (made-in-min-
ute) supper dish. Add a tomato
aspic salad, tall glasses of milk,
freshly baked bread, and a fruit
compote to complete this meal.

Cottage Salad

1 cup ripe olives— cut in large
wedges

1 cup cubed cucumber

2 cups large curd cottage cheese
1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon instant minced onion
% teaspoon salt
dash of pepper
1/16 teaspoon chili powder
Salad greens

3 large tomatoes, sliced
Whole ripe olives for garnish

Combine all ingredients except salad
greens, tomatoes, and whole olives.
Arrange salad greens and tomato
slices on individual salad plates.
Top with cottage cheese mixture.
Sprinkle with paprika and garnish
with the whole olives. Makes 6
salads.

Raspberry Cream Pudding

1 cup table cream
% cups sugar

1 tablespoon unflavored gelatin
V2 cup milk

1 cup dairy sour cream
1 teaspoon vanilla

Heat together the cream and sugar
until hot. Sprinkle the gelatin over
the milk to soften; stir into hot cream
until dissolved. Cool; don't let set.
Fold in the sour cream and vanilla;
turn into mold which has been
rinsed with cold water. Chill until
firm. Unmold and top with thawed
frozen raspberries. Serves 6.

314

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Orange Sherbet (short in
calories)

1 envelope unflavored gelatin
% cup sugar
xk cup water

1 (6 oz.) can frozen orange concen-
trate
2V4 cups buttermilk

1 egg white beaten until stiff

Mix the gelatin and sugar thoroughly
in a small saucepan. Add the water
and place over low heat, stirring
constantly until gelatin is dissolved.
Add the buttermilk to the orange
concentrate and stir in the gelatin
mixture. Turn into a freezing tray.
When mixture is partially frozen,
remove to bowl and beat until
smooth, fold in egg white, and re-
turn to tray and continue freezing
until firm. Serve topped with a
sprinkling of grated orange rind.
Brownies are delicious served with
this sherbet. See Easy Brownie in
December 1962 Era issue.

Freezer Chocolate Cream

3 eggs well beaten
2V4 cups sugar

2 squares chocolate

IV2 cups evaporated milk
1 pint table cream
V2 tablespoon vanilla
dash of salt

Beat the sugar well into the beaten
eggs, add the melted chocolate and
other ingredients. Freeze in hand
or electric freezer. Serve sprinkled
with toasted almond chips.

Broiled Halibut Steaks

Cut halibut steaks into serving
portions. Season with salt and
freshly ground pepper. Oil the
broiler pan well, place the steaks
on the pan and broil slowly until
steaks are lightly brown. Turn and
coat top of steaks with mixture of
seasoned sour cream and chopped
chives or finely chopped green
onions. Broil until the top is brown,
and the halibut is cooked through.
Serve at once with wedges of lemon.
To complete this dinner serve tiny
new potatoes rolled in a little cream
and coated with butter and parsley,
broccoli, 'tossed green salad, and
orange sherbet.

One Long
Distance
call can pep
up your
whole
week. Try
it and see!

Pick up
your phone
and go
visiting . . .
tonight!

®

MOUNTAIN

STATES
TELEPHONE

Not many of us can make money
grow on trees, but here's the next
best way to raise lots of money,
FAST. Distribute and sell the Sen-
sational "Hi-Dry" Soap Saver. In
a little over a years time, the sale
of this nationally advertised pro-
duct has netted over $85,000 for
church fund raising projects. Send
in this coupon or write today for
complete information.

WRITE TO
ALTA INDUSTRIES

P. O. Box 1947, Salt Lake City, Ut.

* MAGNETIC

SOAP
' HANGER

Please send me complete information and
terms of sale for the "Hi-Dry" Soap Saver.

Name

Address

City State

11

BURNED OUT

rr

REALLY MEANS BURNED OUT TODAY

A fire may mean you are out of a place to live,
with tremendous added expense before you find
another.

Let us explain your need for ample insurance
to cover today's higher values.

UTAH HOME FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY

HEBER J. GRANT & CO., General Agents, Salt Lake City

APRIL 1963

315

Use BASIC-H
THE ALL-PURPOSE
SURFACE CLEANER

Unlike detergents and soaps, Basic-
H contains no harsh solvents or al-
kalis, so safe, so gentle it will not
irritate skin or deteriorate fabrics.
Yet, because it is a chemically bal-
anced, completely organic combina-
tion of oils, Basic-H is powerful
enough for the toughest cleaning
jobs.

Use BASIC-H for Fund-Raising

Your Church group can earn from
$100 to $400 a month regularly be-
cause Basic-H is a high-quality
product which sells easily.

Use BASIC-H for Extra Money

Supplement your income selling Ba-
sic-H. It's easy to earn from $20 to
$100 a month in your spare time. Or,
build a real career with Basic-H.
Enjoy good returns now and retire-
ment income later. Ideal for husband
and wife selling teams. Send coupon
for sample and details.

Reduce with SURE MEAL

Now is the time to start trimming
and slimming down for spring and
summer, You can do it with the de-
licious, safe dietary, SURE MEAL.

LYMAN'S DAILY SUPPLY
TABLETS for New Pep
& Vigor

We believe these to be the very
finest natural vitamin and mineral
tablets obtainable anywhere.

DON LYMAN & ASSOCIATES
1087 East 9th South
Salt Lake City 5, Utah

Please send me the following:

BASIC-H

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SURE MEAL to Reduce

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GIVE YOURSELF A BIRTHDAY GIFT

BY EILEEN M. HASSE

• The best birthday gift is one you
can give yourself. Instead of slip-
ping into a moody spell because
everyone forgot about your day,
here is a campaign of action to give
you a memorable birthday.

Have a hairdo. You may treat
yourself to a beauty shop set or
permanent. You may have your
best friend cut it and style it for you,
or you may do some experimenting
on your own. Try pushing your
hair into different styles when you
shampoo it. Sudsy hair is easy to
push into different shapes. When
you decide on a new way to comb
it, experiment until you accomplish
your task. A new look is the best
birthday gift, and you must give it
to yourself.

Adopt a hobby, learn a new skill
or try a new craft. Hobbies are re-
freshing because they take the dull-
ness out of the day. Working with
colorful yarns, paints, or new fab-
rics serves as a tonic to any home-
maker who seems trapped with
daily routine. Get a new hobby by
reading books, talking to others who
already have that hobby, or asking
for instruction where art and hobby
goods are sold. Most high schools
hold evening classes for adults who
are interested in learning a new
skill. Classes in sculpturing, ce-
ramics, leathercraft, sewing, and
knitting are but a few of the skills

that are taught. It costs but a
couple of dollars to enroll in one of
these classes. What a wonderful
birthday gift!

Plan a new wardrobe. Take stock
of your clothes. Discard those that
seem worthless. List the dresses and
accessories you have. Then make a
list of things you may add. Check
the essentials that you will buy first.
It's surprising what a little planning
can do. With this list carried in
your purse you can tell at a glance
if so-called bargains are really bar-
gains for you. If the color is not
right or the item doesn't fit in with
the clothes you already have the
bargain isn't for you at all. A ward-
robe plan is a delightful gift
to yourself.

Perk up your place. You may be
able to add a small accessory or a
larger piece of furniture. A coat of
paint will change the face of an
oldie, and a package of dye can do
wonders for stale spreads and
hangings. A dash of color . costs
little and gives you a new lease
on life.

Your favorite dish is just waiting
to be made— on your birthday.
Whatever you like the best should
be yours on your day. A little
planning ahead of the day of days
will help you have all the makings
for your special meal. If it seems
to cost too much, try budgeting

316

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

ahead of time to make room for the
extras you will need. There is won-
derful therapy in making something
elegant for yourself— and it does cost
less than taking the family out to eat.

Begin that figure improvement
campaign. Start today to gain or
lose those pounds that have con-
cerned you. Often exercise is
needed more than diet to shape up.
Treat yourself to a brisk walk every-
day and a few push-ups and sit-upsi
Remind yourself daily that this is
the birthday present you gave your-
self—a few moments each day for a
better figure.

Invite your neighbor in for a
snack. Your troubles will shrink and
your outlook will brighten by sharing
your kitchen and a snack with the
woman next door. A good neighbor
is a lasting birthday gift. You can
have one for the invitation.

Renew an old acquaintance. Re-
member that girl friend you enjoyed
so much when you were in school?
A phone call, letter, or card will
bring her back again. There is a
feeling of permanence that comes
with keeping up the old friendships.
She will be happy you remembered
her, and there will be delightful
hours of reminiscing.

Take a favorite magazine to a
cozy corner. It costs but a few min-
utes to read a story or two. Articles
are broadening and worthwhile.
Stories can take you into the world
of make-believe. Try reading some-
thing that is entirely the opposite of
your daily life. If you are a home-
maker, read about career girls. If
you are small-town, unsophisticated
folk, escape into the world of pent-
houses of the African jungle. Are
you weary from dealing with prob-
lems of your children? Read about
the problems of the bachelor girls
and the childless! Reading is an
escape from everything, and it costs
so little.

Have a leisurely walk along the
river or through the park. It is your
gift to yourself. Has it been ages
since you dared to stroll? Are you
usually hustling along with loaded
arms? Then your best gift to your-
self is a walk without a bundle or
a worry. Observing the people,
pigeons, and squirrels in the park or
the solitude of the river bank can be
an unforgettable birthday gift to
yourself.

Do the dresser drawers or the

• • •

IN YOUR HOME
IN YOUR CHAPEL .

■'■'■>.

'fZy

PRATT * LAMBERT

Countless homes in the area and many of our most beautifully deco-
rated LDS Chapels are finished inside and out with the finest— Pratt
& Lambert paints and varnishes.

SALT LAKE GLASS & PAINT CO.

"Decorating Center of the Intermountain Area"

330 East 4th South Salt Lake City, Utah

— See your local Pratt & Lambert dealer —

III lllllf IIIIMMIMIIIIIMIIIMIIIIIIIIU I1IIIII11IIEIII

Please send
Free

HOME STUDY
Catalog to...

NAME

ADDRESS

CITY STATE

HOME STUDY Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah

HUNT WYOMING MULE DEER, MOOSE & ELK

from established camp's trophy bucks from
pack in camp, guaranteed shooting September
through December. Trail rides June, July and
August. Good fishing in lakes and streams.
Write, Wire or Phone to

GRANT M. BARRUS HUNTING CAMPS

Licensed Afton, Wyo. Guide

Bonded Phone 016ML Outfitter

SACRAMENT TRAYS

P.B.O. Approved

100% DRIPLESS

Rottom of water tray holds a'l used cups.
Vater Tray $7.00 — Matching Bread Tray $3.00

PLASTICAL CO., INC.

13012 So. Normandie, Gardena, Calif.

APRIL. 1963

317

¥ SALT LAKE CITY'S Ttetve&C WoteC

HOTEL

TEMPLE SQUARE

MODERN COFFEE SHOPS • DINING ROOMS

DOWNTOWN RATES:

SINGLES $6.00
DOUBLES $8.00
TWINS $10.00

Children Under
12 Free

FREE Drive -in PARKING

Clarence L West, Manager

PHONE EL 5-2961
75 West South Temple Salt Lake City, Utah

MUSIC FOR THE HOME!

Music adds a touch of refinement to
your children which they will carry with
them all their life.

See us or write us for

Kimball Hammond

Chkkering 0r9an Co-

Any kind of sheet

Fischer Piano music.

DRINK

ficq°

A delightful

hot beverage for those

who don't drink coffee.

AT YOUR GROCERS

IN USE for SEVENTY-FIVE YEARS

Aids in treatment of Canker, simple
sore throat and other minor mouth
and throat irritations.

HALL'S REMEDY

Salt Lake City, Utah

K -^t!-«»i'i^ll-«K)«»()-«KHBK)-^(i^»(H

t()-^()G»(i

kitchen windows or the closet. Do
something you have wanted to do
for a long time but didn't seem to
get done. It's a treat to have some-
thing accomplished that you dreaded.
If you prepare yourself with color-
ful shelf liner and a few new gadgets
the job will be pleasant. Something
as simple as a different kind of de-
tergent or window cleaner can be
a gift to yourself on your birthday.
If you plan to do a dreaded job on
your birthday you will want to make
the finished job a real treat. Going
about the job in a leisurely fashion
helps to make it a treat. Gay linings,
fresh curtains, and a different ar-
rangement makes the doing a real
birthday gift.

Acquire a new friend. Just for
fun try going out and making a new
acquaintance. This is an excellent
birthday gift because it renews your
self-confidence. Is there a new
neighbor? If you make the first
friendly gesture you will win a new
and lasting friend. This may be an
elderly person who needs friends, a
handicapped or sick person or some-
one new and strange to your local-
ity. To have a friend is to be one.
It is easy to find new friends. Per-
haps the child next door is aching
to have an adult friend. Any new
friend makes an ideal gift on
your day.

You can have a bubble bath and
a facial! It's such a simple gift to
yourself, yet, many homemakers
just don't take the time to enioy a
leisurely bath. You will feel like a
■sew person when you submerge in
your fragrant tub of froth. A new
glow will seem to erase a year rather
than add one when your gift to
yourself is a home facial. Your cos-
metic counter has elegant prepara-
tions that are designed to smooth
the skin and give you a younger look.

When your birthday rolls around
accept the added year without
moodiness. You don't even need to
resent the forgetfulness if those you
love forget your day. The sensible
thing to do is to give yourself one
or more of these wonderful birthday
gifts. There is nothing like a gift to
yourself to give you a bright out-
look on the year ahead. Most of
these gifts will give you such sparkle
that your family will be intrigued
by the mystery of what birthdays
do to you!

318

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

OUTDOOR
COMPANION

NEW BUBBLE SUNGLASSES FOR THE SPORTS-
MAN. Here is a most unusual pair of sunglass-
es, one that has interchangeable lenses. With
each frame you get 3 pair of lenses: dark
brown, dark green, dark grey. A lense to fit
all types of sun conditions. They are easy to
interchange, takes only a minute. Like having
3 different pairs of glasses for only the price
of 1. Now $3.98. Send check or money order
(no COD's). White and yellow lenses are also
available at $1.00 per pair each. (Dealer in-
quiries invited). GIFT SHOPPERS, Dept. E. 113
S. Edgemont Ave., Los Angeles 4, Calif.

THE FUN BEGINS WHERE THE ROAD ENDS
when you take along a HONDA TRAIL "55".
It weighs only 121 lbs., easily fits on a car
bumper or in a station wagon, trailer or
camper. The Honda Trail "55" takes you over
the most rugged terrain carrying 250 lbs. of
payload with ease— yet delivers up to 200
m.p.g. Super-powerful low gear ratio of 70
to 1. Speeds up to 30 m.p.h. with quick-change
sprocket for 45 m.p.h. touring. Powered by
Honda's famous 55 cc 4-cycle O.H.V. engine.
For name of nearest dealer call Western Union,
Operator 25 or write to AMERICAN HONDA
MOTOR CO., INC., 4077 W. Pico Blvd., Los
Angeles 19, Calif.

ATTENTION: DEER HUNTERS, CAMPERS. It's
not too early to order a new "Konnie" Hand
Saw for your next hunting or camping trip.
Nothing else like it. "Konnie" Hand Saw
cuts firewood or with special meat cutting
blade makes short work of that deer carcass. It
is SAFER TO USE THAN AN AXE. Made of
lightweight aluminum, weighs only 6 ounces,
is I6V2" L. and 6V2" W. Scabbard for blade
included Free of charge. Blade is removable
and made of Swedish steel. Only $3.50 each
with wood cutting blade, or $4.50 with meat
cutting or metal blade. Specify type wanted.
Send check or money order (no COD's) to Suite
206, RICH-CON INC., 327 Richmond Street, El
Segundo, Calif.

The Church Moves On

(Continued from page 250)

high councils, as a bishop, a bishop's
counselor, and as stake YMMIA
superintendent. His wife Mrs. Fran-
ces Taylor Tate will accompany him
to the Berlin assignment. A son Joel
is serving a mission in the Southwest
Indian Mission, and a daughter
Nancy Ellen is expected to join her
parents in the mission field at the
conclusion of the university year.

J This afternoon fire destroyed
the historic MIA girls' home at
Brighton, at the head of Big Cotton-
wood Canyon southeast of Salt
Lake City. Loss was estimated
at $75,000.00.

I The First Presidency announced
the appointment of Elder Ed-
ward L. Clissold as president of the
Hawaiian Temple, succeeding Presi-
dent Roland Tietjen. This will be
President Clissold's third term as
president of the temple. He is a
former president of both the Hawaii
and the Japanese missions, and
has served as a counselor and is
now president of the Oahu (Ha-
waii) Stake.

FBThe First Presidency announced
\ the appointment of Elder Alvin
W. Fletcher as president of the
Swedish Mission succeeding Presi-
dent A. Gideon Omer. President
Fletcher, a resident of Billings, Mon-
tana, is the first counselor in the
West Central States Mission presi-
dency. He has previously served as
a member of a district presidency in
a mission, as assistant to two mis-
sion presidents, and as first counselor
to two mission presidents. His wife,
Jean Malowney Fletcher, will ac-
company him to this new assign-
ment. They have a son currently
serving in the California Mission;
their daughter, Nancy Jean, a high
school sophomore, will join her par-
ents at the close of the school year.

[Elder Joseph L. Wirthlin, for-
Imer Presiding Bishop of the
Church, passed away. Funeral serv-
ices were conducted in the Assembly
Hall on January 28.

South Carolina West Stake, the
366th now functioning in the

All nature is yours to explore when you
take along the all new HONDA Trail
"55"— the trail machine that needs no
trail!

The Trail "55" is virtually indestruct-
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car bumper with a simple attachment
—or in a station wagon, camper, trailer
or small boat. Super-powerful low gear
ratio of 70 to 1! Speeds to 30 m.p.h.,
with quick-change sprocket for 45
m.p.h. touring! Powered by Honda's
famous 55 cc 4-cycle O.H.V. engine!

For name of nearest dealer, phone
Western Union and ask for OPERATOR
25.

HONDA
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APRIL 1963

319

THE IDEAL GIFT

For Mother on Mother's Day!
For the Bride and Groom!
For the Entire Family Any Day!

Holtj

Scriptures

OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST
OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS

All LDS Scriptures and References in One Beautifully
Bound Volume

72 Wonderful Full Colors Illustrations

Top Grain Leather for Lasting Protection and Beauty

Large, Clear Type for Easy Reading

Thumb Indexed Edition

$42.95

plus tax.

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May Be Used as a Ward, Auxiliary or Quorum Fund Raising Project

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Name...
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ADDRESS LABEL SHOWS
EXPIRATION MONTH

The last issue of your current subscrip-
tion is indicated on your address label;
for example, the letters OCT mean your
subscription expires in October — DEC,
that it will expire in December, etc.
Subscriptions entered for more than
one year have numbers following the
month, such as OCT 64-. This means
that subscriptions will expire in Octo-
ber of 1964. Check your address label
often and renew at least one month
ahead of the expiration date.

The Improvement Era

Church was organized from parts of
Greenboro (North Carolina) Stake
and mission areas from the Central
Atlantic States and Southern States.
Elder Ivan A. Larson, who had been
serving as first counselor in the
Greensboro Stake presidency was
sustained as president of the new
stake with Elders Edgar M. Poole
and Evan D. Ginn as counselors. The
organization was under the direction
of Elder LeGrand Richards of the
Council of the Twelve and Elder
Alvin R. Dyer, Assistant to the
Twelve. At a special conference in
Nauvoo, in August 1841, Elder Abra-
ham O. Smoot was called to labor as
a missionary in South Carolina.

Elder Jack F. Joyner sustained as
president of South Carolina Stake
succeeding President Benjamin W.
Wilkerson. Elders R. Ernest Graham
and Charles C. Branham were sus-
tained as counselors. Both President
Joyner and Elder Graham served as
counselors to President Wilkerson.

Elder Richard B. Sonne sustained
as president of Palo Alto (California)
Stake succeeding President David B.
Haight who has recently been called
as president of the Scottish Mission.
Elders Lund A. Johnson and Ronald
E. Poelman were sustained as coun-
selors. Both President Sonne and
Elder Johnson served as counselors
to President Haight.

flj| The First Presidency announced
the appointment of Elder Heber
G. Taylor as president of the Eastern
Atlantic States Mission succeeding
President George B. Hill. Mission
headquarters are in Bethesda, Mary-
land. At the time of this call Presi-
dent Taylor is a counselor to the
chairman of the Hillside (Salt Lake
City) genealogical committee. He has
been a ward Sunday School super-
intendent, a member of a stake Sun-
day School superintendency, a ward
and a stake YMMIA superintendent,
a stake missionary, and a president
of a quorum of seventy. He filled a
mission in the Netherlands, 1921-24.
With him to this assignment will go
his wife Dorothy Swenson Taylor.
They have three married children.

The First Presidency announced
the creation of a new mission,
•the Southeast Mexican. Called to
preside was Elder Carl J. Beecroft of
Scottsdale, Arizona. The mission
will include the eastern half of the

present Mexican Mission. Head-
quarters will be in Vera Cruz. At
this time President Beecroft has been
serving as co-ordinator of the Span-
ish-speaking units of the Church in
the Salt River Valley. He has also
been a counselor in a bishopric and
a president of a branch. Accom-
panying him to the mission field will
be his wife, Helen May Taylor Bee-
croft and their daughter Katheryn.
The couple also have two older
children. This is the fourth mission
of the Church now functioning in
Mexico. Two stakes are also organ-
ized there.

FEBRUARY 1963

This is the month of the annual
Primary Penny Drive with the
money going to support the Primary
Children's Hospital in Salt Lake
City which accepts patients without
regard to race or creed. Suggested
amount now is two cents for each
year of the contributor's age.

Milwaukee (Wisconsin) Stake
created from parts of Chicago
Stake and the Northern States Mis-
sion with Elder DeWitt C. Smith
sustained as president and Elders
Fred H. Busselberg and Walter H.
Kindt as counselors. The stake, the
367th functioning, was organized
under the direction of Elders Le-
Grand Richards and Howard W.
Hunter of the Council of the Twelve.
Wisconsin was suggested as a
gathering place for the Saints in pre-
Nauvoo days. The suggestion was
never acted upon.

Chicago South (Illinois) Stake
was created from parts of Chi-
cago Stake and the Northern States
Mission with Elder Lysle R. Cahoon
sustained as president and Elders
John Sonnenberg and Dallin H.
Oaks as counselors. This is the 368th
stake functioning in the Church. It
was organized under the direction of
Elders LeGrand Richards and How-
ard W. Hunter of the Council of
the Twelve.

Elder Paul W. Jespersen was
sustained as president of Chicago
Stake succeeding President John K.
Edmunds who has served as stake
president for eighteen years. Presi-
dent Jespersen's counselors are Elders
J. Darold Johnson and Everett
L. Butler.

320

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Your Family
and You

April 1963

Marion D. Hanks,

Editor;

Elaine Cannon,

Associate Editor

,

322

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

Home

BY ELAINE CANNON

Home . . . home . . . you've heard all the old quips
about it ... a place where you hang your hat . . .
sign up for the family car . . . wait for the allow-
ance dole . . . grab a snack.

You get so you sort of take the old abode for
granted sometimes. It's there, it's familiar . . .
it's just home, that's all.

But is that all? Have you ever been away
somewhere and been stricken with a hungry
longing for that place you call "home" ? It's then
you know that home is more than the roof over
your head. . .and that it truly takes a heap of living
to make a house a home for you or anybody else.

Home is where you loll on the floor and read
Sunday's funnies . . . where a fragrance of fresh
bread baking or pot roast cooking is tantalizing
but promising . . . where your fifth grade master-
piece STILL hangs in the breakfast room . . .
and the scratches of your pup's claws mark the
back door.

Home is after-school-snacks of your own choos-

ing . . . it's where your horde of books, snapshots,
records, and THINGS are stashed . . . it's birthday
cakes and family reunions . . . it's everyone raking
up the leaves in the fall and gardening in the
spring . . . it's preparations for little brother's
Scout trips, and big brother's mission . . . it's pray-
ing together and singing together . . . sessions
with Dad on church talks . . . sessions with Mom
on clothes . . . it's tender, loving care when you're
sick and a heap of understanding when you're
blue . . . it's the place where you're loved the most
by those who know you best.

Home is your own welcome mat to friends,
where you can pay back their kindnesses to you
. . . it's frantic preparations on Prom night . . .
telephone calls for you . . . it's family squabbles,
family fun.

It's not unlike other homes yet it's special to
you because your things, your loves, your happy
growing up memories are there. It's a lot of
things, home is, and all pretty special at that.

APRIL 1963

323

Rally 'round the home hearth
teens. Take a fresh look
at family togetherness.

Because your most important part in family life can be the giving
of good ideas and helping put them to .work, why not start now to make
your family the one you'd like most to come home to?

* Chart a work chart.

* Design a "where I'm going and when I'll return" book.

* Suggest family prayers.

* Stage a who-can-memorize-the-most-scriptures-in-a-week contest.

* Set up a suggestion box and schedule a night to consider the

suggestions. Plan prizes and party food.

* At Sunday dinner take turns telling of "do unto others" experiences

you've noted about various family members during the week.

* Plot a project : redecorate a room, work on food storage, enter a

contest, up-date family histories, take a program to a shut-in, share
your family hour with newcomers or nonmembers.

* Have a sing along.

:v :|! u.. ::§;

4 ^jjP^ "

Toward God and Parents

BY LINDA CAMPORA

You were a valiant spirit in the pre-existence,
and when the two plans were presented, you
couldn't contain your enthusiasm and hope of
being able to have a tabernacle of flesh and bone
in order to begin anew on earth. Although you
hated to leave the glorious home of your beloved
Father, two people on earth were praying for you
and waiting hopefully for your arrival.

I believe this is what Nephi meant when he
said, "I, Nephi, having been born of goodly par-
ents." What are youth's responsibilities to their
goodly parents?

If God had faith enough to trust these two peo-
ple with one of his choicest spirits, his most price-
less possessions, shouldn't youth have faith
enough in his judgment to listen to their parents'
counsel and obey, respect, and honor them?

Do we confide in our parents, or do we tell
them, "You just don't understand"? Do we share
our lives, or do we tiptoe past their lighted bed-
room after a date? Are we expecting them to
trust us when we tell untruths about places, times,
and friends? Can we say, "This is my mom and
this is my dad," and be proud of it or do we be-
come as base as some young folk and refer to
them as "the old lady" and "my old man"? Have
we ever thought of staying home with the smaller
children one night so they can go to a movie, or
is it always our turn for the car ? Does Mom get
to wear her new blouse only once, and then we
take it over?

Think of the suffering of Alma the Younger's

father, Alma. His son was a real troublemaker
and had to have an angel of the Lord strike him
dumb before he repented and became a power-
ful missionary.

Obedience, respect, and honor are most impor-
tant, but the greatest gift that can be given is
living a good life, keeping the principles of the
gospel, and having an undying testimony. This
includes a goal for temple marriage. This is the
only thing which will permit us to have a man-
sion and family in our Father's celestial kingdom.
In order to be worthy of a temple marriage we
must constantly live clean lives. This teen time of
our life is of most concern and worry to our par-
ents. They know the strong impulses and
emotions we are beginning to experience. Theirs
were the same lovely discoveries. They only want
to help and guide.

"You ought to be true for the sake of the

folks who think you are true.
You should never stoop to a deed that your

folks think you would not do.
If you are false to yourself, be the blemish

but small,
You have injured your folks, you have been

false to them all."

Edgar A. Guest.

The spirit that left was pure, eager, valiant,
choice. Each day we live should be with one
thought and goal, to return just as pure and
choice as when we came.

Q

What's wrong with this family picture?

A

You're only seeing part of it. See yourself AND your family members
as others see them. Get to know ALL about each other. Pinpoint the
' humanness" about your relative sy and love them for what they really
are, not for what they can do for you.

.

^tr\

mum

Building Missionaries

# There are many faithful young people living
in Europe who have come with their parents to
help the Saints build chapels. They are part of
the Church building missionary corps. They have
given up school and friends and fun at home to
come to strange lands with strange customs and
strange languages. They have gone to foreign
schools, the lucky ones to American military
schools, and some to no schools at all.

They have made new friends in and out of the
Church. Some have won honors and finished the
year at the head of their class. They have been
a wonderful asset to the Church wherever
they are.

Here in Holland I have not been able to go to
school, and so have been taking correspondence
courses from the universities of Utah and Cali-
fornia. My sister LouAnn finished her senior
year in high school via the mailman and gradu-
ated from Olympus Seminary the same way.

These overseas teens are working in the Church
wherever asked. Some have been called on prose-
lyting missions while living here. While only 16,
1 have been called as the Sunday School superin-
tendent, and LouAnn, 19, is the associate
managing editor of The Builder. The only other
LDS American teen in Holland, Robert Lybbert,
is a counselor in the MIA in the Amsterdam Ward.

Often we are lonely and homesick for friends
to talk to, for it is difficult to make friends and
express ideas when a language stands in the way.
Yet we know that in time we will master the
language.

We truly feel that we are missionaries and
representatives of our Church and country in this
land of Holland, and that it is a wonderful expe-
rience for us. *

Richard Jackson
ISaarden, The Netherlands

Guten Tag!

This is a report from Germany courtesy of the

Biesinger teens, Stephen, George, and Kathy.

There are nine children in our family, and we've
called Germany, England, and New Zealand home
— and sometime even before that the "foreign"
city of Salt Lake in the country of USA.

We're American citizens who had a tough time
going to school in American schools those few
short months we were back in the valley. We've
learned a lot about languages, methods, mores,
people, and places in our travels and wouldn't
trade our way of life for anything.

Our father, George Biesinger, is currently
supervisor of the Church building program here.
We were on a building mission in New Zealand for
10y2 years before we came to Europe.

At present we are attending the Frankfurt
American High School which is for dependents of
the United States Armed Forces. It's school
American-style, but it's costly. It costs each of
us $119 a half semester plus $27 a year for trans-
portation because we are not army dependents.
We're all active in school athletics and activities
and are trying to make a good thing out of this
mission call.

We've had some great experiences working to-
gether as a family on church building projects.
While we were living in England we all helped
on the building at Epsom.

Kathy received a thick pair of snow gloves
while in America, and upon her return to England
she wore them completely to shreds tossing over
three thousand bricks with a group of English
teens helping to build the new chapel.

While digging a drainage trench there, Stephen
and George found the body of an Anglo-Saxon
warrior one thousand years old but very well
preserved. It is going to be on display in the
British Museum.

We also attended the gospel study classes with
the building missionaries. It is very inspiring
and strengthening to our testimonies to work
with these young building missionaries. They
give two years of their time and energy without
pay. We all hope and pray that if anyone of you
is ever called on a proselyting or building mission
or to hold any position in the Church that you will

accept it with a sincere heart and fulfil it to the
utmost of your ability. You'll have experiences
you'll never have any other way. And your testi-
mony of the truthfulness of this gospel will grow
as ours has.

Stephen, George, and Kathy Biesinger

The Germans are officially finished with regular
schooling at age fourteen. I was therefore very
lucky to be able to attend a German Gym-
nasium. One of my father's old German friends
was kind enough to go to the school and explain
our problem with the language.

The first day I attended school showed me how
considerate the German boys could be. When
I walked into the door, all of the students stood
upright looking very proud to have an American
in their class. Each student wanted to sit by
the American. I was assigned to a boy who could
speak very good English. He made me feel very
much at home. I was filled with many questions
the first week. I met some German friends who
took me under their wing and stopped by my
apartment before and after school.

In the gym classes every Monday I could tell
that the students were out to show me that they
were more physically active than the Americans.
In fact, they started contests the day I arrived.
I was trying not to give a bad impression of the
Americans by putting as much ability as I could
into the tests. One thing they seemed to be happy
about was the fact that they were better than I
was on the parallel bars. After that day they
chose me to be handball goalie for the class. It
gave me a good impression of the Germans when
I noticed they were all about the same in every
sport — very good.

After attending this school for two months I
felt it would be better for me to go to the Ameri-
can High School. This school is very different
from the ones at home in Salt Lake City. It is
for military dependents, and so I and the other
students from our Mormon colony in Bad

APRIL 1963

329

Vilbel have a good opportunity to meet many
new students.

While attending the school my friends and I
tried hard to play soccer, and each of us was
fortunate enough to win a letter. At the assembly
I was very much surprised to be called up to the
front and awarded with a trophy as the most
valuable sophomore soccer player.

I am fortunate to have such wonderful friends
as I have here: George Biesinger, Stephen
Biesinger, Kathy Biesinger, Mary Jane Andrew,
Pat Berg, Kris Kersick, Evelyn Voigt, Joy
Haines, Bob Dyer, and Bob Burton. Every one
sets a fine example for the Church.

Richard Crandall

our teacher is a lieutenant colonel in the Army,
and he has to be to work at 7:30. We meet in a
tin Army building every school morning.

Pat Berg

In my wildest dreams I never had an idea that
I would come to Europe to live. Upon arriving
in Germany I had to pinch myself to make sure
I wasn't dreaming. Especially when I rode down
the street and saw street lights, large modern
stores, auto balms as well as cobblestone alleys,
and people dressed in stylish apparel. Before
coming I had pictured Germany to be very primi-
tive and back a few hundred years. I was very
relieved to find things quite up-to-date.

While I have been in Germany, I have had the
opportunity of traveling through Europe with my
parents to visit church building sites and attend
building conferences in other areas. It has been
interesting and inspiring to me to meet the build-
ing missionaries who have given of their time and
talents to help build chapels for the Church.
Many of these boys are from the East Zone, and
their families are still on the other side. To hear
their testimonies and experiences at the confer-
ences has helped me to gain a greater testimony
of the gospel and this work.

I have the opportunity of going to seminary
here. This is the first seminary group they have
had in Germany. Last year we didn't have semi-
nary. It is very much like our seminary at home
except that we meet from 6:30 to 7:30 because

When I first found out that I was going to
Germany to live for a couple of years, I thought
that it was the worst thing that could happen.
But now I am very grateful that my father has
been called on a building mission and that I have
the opportunity of living here in Germany and
of learning more about it and of the Ger-
man people.

Ever since I first stepped off the plane in
Germany five months ago, I've really liked it. I
was surprised when I got here to find how modern
it is. But as well as modern cities and heavy
traffic, there are little villages, ancient castles,
and people on bikes all over. I was also surprised
to find a good old American root beer stand.

There are many other Americans here, most of
them in the Army. The Army has a high school
called Frankfurt American High and that is where
I go to school because it is school American style.
There are only eleven of us there who are mem-
bers of the Church. This gives us a chance to tell
the others about our Church.

Every morning at 5:00 we get up and sleepily
dress, then ive all pile in the car, and off we go
to our seminary tvhich we have at 6:30. This is a
special treat here. Not all LDS children traveling
have seminary.

I have met many wonderful people and had ex-
periences that I never woidd have otherwise.
I'm thrilled.

Kris Kerksick

I wish that I could even begin to express my grati-
tude to my Heavenly Father for calling us here to
Germany. There is never a day when something
special doesn't happen to make my life happier here.

330

THE IMPROVEMENT ERA

I think that the opportunities for young people in
our branch are wonderful. There are always posi-
tions that need to be filled and things that need to be
done. I have been fortunate in being able to hold
the positions of chorister and pianist in three differ-
ent organizations, and I'm so thankful that I have
the ability to do my part in this way.

Our group of young people is outstanding, and I
think you'd have to look a long time to find a com-
parable group. Our weekends are always filled
with activities, based mainly around Church. Let me
just tell you about one recent weekend. Saturday
afternoon I was privileged to speak at a baptism of
a young man who was introduced to the gospel by
one of our young men in the branch. I think that
that was the high light of the whole weekend.
Saturday evening we all attended an MIA dance that
we usually hold every other week. Sunday we at-
tended our regular meetings and afterward held a
little get-together at our branch president's home and
spent the evening singing.

As I sat there singing, I began to wonder where else
in the world I would be able to find such a wonder-
ful group of wholesome, outstanding young people,
except in the Church. The impression that this mis-
sion has made on my life can never be measured. I
feel very fortunate in just being able to have asso-
ciated with these people.

Mary Jane Andrew

L to r. Pat Father gale and John Crabtree,
missionaries; Stephen Biesinger on site of
Epson Chapel, London.

Lou Ann Jackson

Mary Jane Andrew

L to r. Richard Crandall, Steve Biesinger, George
Biesinger, Kris Kerkseck, Pat Berg and Kathy
Biesinger.

,t fee the

Tt won ^

^ — kind o, ,ove U« »°* - ;° "JopeO •* - "^ "
This is a ,ve ever recei

fishiest one you * ,t

^iest.^1 in tM world. I

you -cause you £ -» ^ us at ho»e • £ ^ ^ „ a *-

safes, when thmgs me. ™»» * «* anyttling •»- »

X xove you -cause you ^ ^ t^a ^ ?
• oole m « life" if vmy else would y „taxl

°f " 10ve 1 -eP ««"• mySelf • it, food. .**«-• «*•»"*•

must be love, DrovidinB me wi"1

By pockets .1^ ■»«■ P pQOr? for me along the •«•

serviee when the pay « • J sure you've made f„ guldance

. love you for sacrxf.ee ^ of it. 1 you for

ouwe never made a product. ^ kindneSS. I

though you ve t in serv certain f

,„B and the example you ng „ltb me disciplinxng

y„u grve and ^^ for P ^ obey anQ for

teaching me ahout

occasions of need. ^ , don t. ^ saylng

•• •»»" »:,:"-•'- ■<— :r ™- - — - -

! love you f°r love you for

, so» when I II* lt> v ffly kmd of peoP^-
told you so yoU.re my

X love the «y you ^^ surprised*

! love you, that's all, ^ Teen

Ten
things I wish
my parents

WOULDN'T do:

©

5

discipline me in front of my
friends

discipline me in front of their
friends

invade the privacy of my
drawers, my diary, and my
mail

outshine me in front of my
date

be careless about telephone
messages for me

remind me to say "thank you"
and "how do you do" before
others

live one way and preach
another

set impossible standards for
me to live up to

quit referring to "when I was
young"

look sloppy when my friends
come

Ho ta do (m. bvetkjb? &huo esw^Jk, uxxmo, oo-fk poetAxun ,^A

XXJUX
JU/vvu/w.

OMjJllQxrWAk)

keep his/her word about
when he'll/she'll be home

#

speak to our friends politely
without having to be told to

Some •

listen to advice — even if
he/she won't always take it

•

introduce his/her friends to
us respectfully

things we wish #

niif fnnn

hang up clothes

8

say, "\ love you folks and
thanks!" just now and then

our ieen
WOULD do: *

keep room neat

9

not argue so much

volunteer the information
where he/she is going and
with whom

•

help around the house more

Getting to Know You

Shauna, Jeanette, and Larry (sitting) Dave, and
Ray (standing) Wagner, Seattle Fourth Ward,
Seattle (Wash.) Stake, are five talented teens
setting a high family standard in the Church.

The youngest, Shauna, 9, is an active partici-
pant in Sunday School and Primary programs
and sings many solos in the Seattle area. Brother
Larry, 14, is first counselor in his deacons quo-
rum, a member of the school choir, and roll room
representative. Dave, 16, is president of the
teachers quorum, vice-chairman of his school's
honor society, and president of his seminary class.

Ray, 17, is secretary of his priests quorum,
president of his Explorer post, past Primary
teacher and chorister, and secretary of his high
school studentbody. Jeanette, 18, has served as
chorister of the junior Sunday School, high school
Girls Club president, a member of the Executive

Council, and studentbody secretary. She is now a
freshman at Brigham Young University. While
in high school she also was a member of the
service club, senior commencement commissioner,
Vi-Queens, fashion board, concert choir, and
seminary graduate.

Bonnie Kay Wellard, Yuma First
Ward, Yuma (Ariz.-Calif.) Stake
. . . student-body secretary , . .
head cheerleader . . . attended
Girls League . . . attendant to
Campus Queen, Mardi Gras, and
FFA Sweetheart . . . Yuma
County "Miss Maid of Cotton"
. . . president youth missionary
committee . . . stake Laurel
president . . . MIA chorister . . .
Laureate award.

Byron Dangerfield, Garden
Heights Ward, Canyon Rim
(Salt Lake City) Stake . . . all-
Church athlete . . . honor stu-
dent . . . eight individual awards
with 100 percent seals . . . youth
chorus . . . ward quartet.

Shirley Stradling, Mesa Second
Ward, Mesa (Ariz.) Stake . . .
talented artist . . . student-body
officer . . . Honor Club . . . Girls
Athletic Association . . oldest girl
in family of twelve . . . five indi-
vidual awards . . . Honor Bee, Mia
Joy, and Junior Laureate awards.

Dedica ted to Dad Doting paren ts

May I ever be deserving of your love.
Thanks for making my life worth living.

Who gave the trees their color
And to the flowers their smell?

Who gave the birds their song
That makes the music swell?

Who gave the mountains their strength

And to the sea its power?
Who is it who makes the clouds roll by

And the clock to strike the hour?

Who is it that makes my life so gay?

Believe me now I know
It was God that made the world so big

For his love He thought to show.

But the love that I'll remember
Everyday my whole life through

Is that after God had done all this
He had the love to give me you.

BY CHARLOTTE RICHARDS. 16

SALT LAKE CITY

You're like quicksilver, my teen,
Broken in a dozen ■ parts,
Elusive, and yet very real,
Warming your parents' hearts.

You're like a rainbow, my teen,
Often, after storm,
Full of wonder and of hope,
Ready to reform.

You're like a poem, my teen,
Rhythmic as a song,
Full of magic imagery,
Chattering the whole day long.

You're like no other, my teen,
Unique in every way.
Even your faults are dear to us.
God bless you every day.

BY CAROLINE EYRING MINER

The

Last

Word

Daniel Webster, when
asked what was the
greatest thought that had
ever entered his mind,
replied : "My account-
ability to Almighty God."

A world without a Sabbath would
be like a man without a smile,
like summer without flowers, and
like a homestead without a
garden. It is the joyous day of the
whole week.— Henry Ward Beecher

When one door closes, an-
other opens; but we often
look so long and regret-
fully at the closed door,
that we do not see the one
which has opened for us.

Out of Gas: The lady walked out of
the grocery store and saw a driverless
car rolling slowly down the street.
Thinking quickly, she ran to the car,
jerked open the door, slid behind the
wheel, and pulled the emergency brake
with a hard yank. As she stepped out
feeling proud, a man ivalked up. "Well,
I stopped it," she beamed. "Yeah, I
know. I was pushing it." — Fun Foundry

Some men have hundreds of rea-
sons why they cannot do what
they want to, when all they need
is just one reason why they can.

There is little chance for people to get
together as long as most of us want to be
in the front of the bus, the back of the
church, and the middle of the road.

An elderly farmer wrote to a mail
order house as follows: "Please
send me one of the gasoline
engines you show on page 787,
and if it's any good, I'll send a
check." He received the follow-
ing reply: "Please send check; if
it's any good, we'll send engine."

For months she had pleaded with her husband
to have his photograph taken. At last he
yielded to her pleading and made the
appointment with the photographer. But
when the proofs came through, his wife
exclaimed in horror, "Oh, there's only one
button on your coat." "Thank goodness,"
he replied, "you've noticed it at last."— J.J.

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Responsibilities growing:

How about your Beneficial

Your responsibilities grow along with your family.
Each family addition brings new joys - and new
needs. Among these is space. Perhaps you've
remodeled your present home to add more rooms.
Or you may have purchased recently, or considered
purchasing, a larger home. However you plan to
provide the space for living that your family
needs . . . don't overlook another important

v Mortgage Insurance ?

responsibility: that of making sure they'll always
have the home you want for them - and not just
the memory of it. Beneficial Life Mortgage Insur-
ance can make all the difference. And it costs so
little when compared with the peace of mind that
comes with it. Ask your Beneficial Life man
for details.

BENEFICIAL LIFE

Salt Lake City, Utah

Virgil H. Smith, Pres.